Snarky Brides
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argh argh argh

So I have 5 bridesmaids, and two are my cousins (only a year older than me one from each side of my family).   We went looking for bridesmaids dresses, and I found one I love.  My cousin is tall, almost 6 ft, and when she tried it on it was about to her ankle (actually i think it was below that, but she kept slouching and such to make it longer so who knows).  When we left she said it's your wedding I'll just wear flats, it'll be fine.  Then she calls to say that she's going to feel uncomfortable the whole day, blah blah, and has since called to tell me about other dresses she has seen "that I should check out".  The dress I love doesn't come in extra length, and the seamstress said there wasn't a way to lengthen it.   I've been stressing, because I don't want to make her wear something she will be uncomfortable in, so I finally decided to just let everyone pick whatever dress they want as long as it's black and long.  

You'd think this would solve the issue right :)

Well, she then emails everyone saying how no one should stress me out, that it's my day, and that "the dress was a little short but she can deal with it" and I should pick what I want.

WTH!!!!! If that was the case, you wouldn't have called me to complain and kept telling me about other dresses.  Now that you wore me down, now the dress is Ok????

Just needed to vent because this is frustrating.

Re: argh argh argh

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    I dont think you should let your bridesmaids pick whatever dress they want as long as its black and long.  What happens if they stay within those guidelines and you totally hate the dress?? Then what?  It's your day, not theirs.  Keep looking for something that will look right on everyone.  If you have to.. pick out 2 dresses that are somehwat the same style ... let the girls where one of them, so you at least have Some order in the bridal party. 

    BTW I think its crappy that she is going back and forth on her opinion of the dress.  its really messing with your head and causing extra stress.
    ~Alissa & Frank 10.9.10~
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    I tried let my bridesmaids pick out their own dresses for my wedding as long as they were long and black because the original dress that i had picked out at davidsbridal.com and had everyone vote on, looked AWFUL in person, I felt terrible for them and said that i would never make them wear something that didnt fit right ect. They werent entirely comfortable picking their own dresses so they had me pick out different dresses that flattered them and I kept some order by having 3 different dresses, 2 people to each dress (i had 6 bridesmaids). it worked out really well and everyone complimented me on how nice they looked in them.
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    I picked out my bm dress, just one bm!  I am super smart!!!  Or I have no friends!!! You be the judge! 
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    I'm giving my bridesmaids a brief on what i want and emailing a few picture of ones or styles i like, letting them agree amongst themselves on a couple and then i will have the final say on which one.

    It is a bit unfair of her changing her mind like that, but at least it's sorted now :)

    xx
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    I don't know.. Is it sorted out now?  It sounds to me like she's still not happy with the dress but realized she may have over stepped the line and is trying to make things better by telling the bride its fine just to keep the peace. 

    I had the luck of seeing a different bridal party trying on the dresses I ended up going with when I was at David's Bridal... so I was able to see how the dress looked on all shapes and sizes.  But I dont have tall girls in my wedding so I guess I dont quite have the same situation as you.  I wish you luck... and dont stress too much over it.
    ~Alissa & Frank 10.9.10~
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    After I sent out my emails the emails started flying, 3 girls including the girl who originally complained and my MOH (sister) said they were going to buy the dress I picked out.  So, feeling crazy from all this back and forth, I asked that they all just  buy the dress, it's 7 months away and I have been stressing over this one issue enough already!  Call it a brideszilla moment :)  I'm pretty sure my cousin who "would prefer not to buy another black dress" is now upset, but...
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_argh-argh-argh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:11a2988a-7d67-41a0-b01c-0ae1d5d42cbcPost:809ba9da-0009-42b9-ae90-45ce53a092c9">Re: argh argh argh</a>:
    [QUOTE]I picked out my bm dress, just one bm!  I am super smart!!!  Or I have no friends!!! You be the judge! 
    Posted by luckyme502[/QUOTE]

    <div>I say Super Smart. </div><div>
    </div><div>For me, MOH and no BMs, IMO its genius.  </div><div>
    </div><div>I don't really get why you are so upset.  She was uncomfortable, so she talked to you about it.  Then she thought about it, maybe got some advice from others and said "you know what it is her day and I want her to be happy so I guess I can deal with the dress"  She wants to make you happy and she is the one who is aggravating! Aren't you a peach!</div>
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    Felicia, that is a good way to look at it.  I think I probably didn't because of the 30 yr history with my cousin.. Thanks for the fresh perspective.
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    Do they have to be long dresses?  If you went short, it would probably be easier to find something that suits her... she could buy a long dress and hem it up.  

    Or check out aria bridesmaids, you can get different lengths.  

    I know it's "your day," but if the dress you picked doesn't fit her and she looks ridiculous, I don't think she should be forced to wear it.  In my opinion, this is a sign that maybe you should keep looking for something that suits everyone.  I have a friend who is six feet tall and it's difficult to find clothes that fit, and she sometimes feels really embarrassed about it.  I would never want to make someone feel that way by forcing them into a dress they have to slouch in so it looks right.  
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    edited March 2010
    Honestly, it didn't look super obvious to me, but because she is more aware of it, it probably looked more obvious to her.  I told her numerous times that I was FINE with everyone finding their own dresses so that she could find something that would allow for extra length.  I even replied all when she emailed the rest of the BM about it, saying that I would prefer everyone to be comfortable.  She still is insisting we get the original dress.  Believe me, I'm not the type to say yeah you look ridiculous but that is what I want.  I'd much rather everyone be comfortable and not worry about the dresses.  But I'm not also going to fight back and forth over it.  However, the dress comes with a shawl that is the same material as the dress and we will see if we can have that added to the bottom to give her some extra length.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_argh-argh-argh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:11a2988a-7d67-41a0-b01c-0ae1d5d42cbcPost:809ba9da-0009-42b9-ae90-45ce53a092c9">Re: argh argh argh</a>:
    [QUOTE]I picked out my bm dress, just one bm!  I am super smart!!!  Or I have no friends!!! You be the judge! 
    Posted by luckyme502[/QUOTE]


    I did the same thing - plus she's my little sister (age 16) and adores me and will do whatever I want. I vote that it is very <strong>smart</strong> and not that you (and I) have no friends.
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