Not Engaged Yet

Would you wear your ring(s) to an interview?

I'm sure this has been discussed before, but it's top of mind as I'm about to leave for an interview. I went to see what the Internet said on the topic, and I got a variety of views. Some say don't, so the interviewers don't think about you needing time off for a wedding or future baby. Others say it shows stability. Others think you may be judged for the size or expense of the ring.

Perhaps more than anything, I was surprised about how many people were asked if they were married. They thought it was lying to not wear the ring. (In the US, you should not be asked about marital status in an interview.) People from other countries say it's common to put marital status on the CV.

In the end, I've decided not to wear mine. It's not big, and they probably don't give a hoot about my marital status, but I don't want anything that could lead me to be perceived negatively.

Re: Would you wear your ring(s) to an interview?

  • edited June 2012
    It never even occurred to me that people might take them off during an interview. I never take them off, so why would I take them off for an interview? It just seems really weird to me. But that's just my opinion. And also, if people judge me for my ring then it's probably not the kind of place I want to be working anyways.

    Good luck on your interview!!
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  • I had an interview today and I didn't notice any sort of question aimed towards my personal life. I really don't think it is that big of a deal. But, I guess it depends on the field of work you are going into. Im going into social work/parent education, so I am sure if they had a preference it would be someone married with children of their own. If I had a ring, I would have worn it for sure.
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  • I'm really undecided on the issue. My mom always told me only to wear minimal jewelry to interviews because you don't want them to think you don't need the job. But I feel like that might be outdated. FWIW, I probably won't wear my ering to interviews just because that's what I've always been told is right, but I don't think it probably matters much. I would wear my wedding band once I have it though since it won't be flashy.
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  • I voted special snowflake.  :-)

    If I had rings and I was married, I would wear my rings.  I really don't think I would be judged in any negative way because of my relationship status, single or married.

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  • I have always worn rings to interviews. I've worn a single gem ring on my left hand for years since my first marriage. Many have thought the 3 stone ring was an engagement ring. It never affected my interviews. In the next few days-week (s) I will swap that ring out for the engagement ring we designed. I will wear it pretty much everywhere except the pool or open water swims due to being afraid of losing it. If someone has an issue with what my ering looks like or my marital status that is not a company I want to work for. I think of the ability to commit to someone for life as a boon not a deficit.
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  • leia1979leia1979 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2012
    Buggle, that's what I was thinking, except my ring is soldered together and kind of looks like only an engagement ring. I do have a silver band for traveling, but I just went without. Jordan, I think you make a good point about the type of job. I work in a male-dominated field. I also know that when I used to be an admin, I was supposed to tell finance how many women in my group might go on maternity leave in the next year, so someone is thinking about that.
  • I'm big on representing myself exactly as I am in an interview, so that means rings and everything. I know plenty of married ladies who don't have a band, so anyone who assumed they would be planning a wedding soon would be wrong. To be honest, if someone is going to be spending the time that I'm answering an interview question trying to determine my marital status, I'm really not sure that's the kind of place I want to work. 

    I know it's not how you meant it, Leia, but I feel like this questions sets back females 50 years. Guys don't think FOR ONE SECOND about whether or not to wear their wedding rings, so why should we?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-you-wear-your-rings-to-an-interview?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f768a0f4-04b8-4543-b34e-7029c4dff92ePost:0a765842-e51d-4ae8-b035-9e37505d950f">Re: Would you wear your ring(s) to an interview?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It never even occurred to me that people might take them off during an interview. I never take them off, so why would I take them off for an interview? It just seems really weird to me. But that's just my opinion. And also, if people judge me for my ring then it's probably not the kind of place I want to be working anyways. Good luck on your interview!!
    Posted by mookow86[/QUOTE]

    This exactly.
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  • I wore my e-ring when I interviewed for the job I have now, but I didn't really see it as a "real" interview.

    Honestly, when I do my next important interview (which will probably be in the Spring for grad school), I'll probably take them off.  My e-ring tends to attract attention (I'm a flashy AW) and I wouldn't want that to hinder the interview in any way.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-you-wear-your-rings-to-an-interview?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f768a0f4-04b8-4543-b34e-7029c4dff92ePost:10f23073-0015-4f03-94ad-9f24319ee967">Re:Would you wear your rings to an interview?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I had an interview today and<strong> I didn't notice any sort of question aimed towards my personal life</strong>. I really don't think it is that big of a deal. But, I guess it depends on the field of work you are going into. Im going into social work/parent education, so I am sure if they had a preference it would be someone married with children of their own. If I had a ring, I would have worn it for sure.
    Posted by JordanL1221[/QUOTE]

    <div>That's the point-they're not allowed to ask you any questions about your personal life, but by wearing a ring, you're sort of volunteering that information.</div><div>
    </div><div>I agree that it depends a lot on what kind of field you're going into. As a nurse, I wouldn't think twice about it, as most nurses are women, and many are married and moms. If I were going to interview at a high power law firm, or something, I might think twice about wearing it, as I wouldn't want to give them any reason to question my commitment to the job.</div>
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  • I should add that I, in no way, think that it's fair that women are thought to be less committed to a job if they are married or have children, but there definitely ARE people who still think that way, and that's reality. I'd want to err on the side of caution, as much as it sucks that this is an issue at all.
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  • I've been wondering about this since I'm applying for new jobs. The only reservation I have is because I feel like my ring can be a little flashy. I wouldn't wear a flashy necklace or earrings, but is my ring fine? I don't really know. It would probably depend on where the job is nonprofit organization vs. large private university, for example.
  • tuarceathatuarceatha member
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    edited June 2012
    I'm actually shocked by this question.
  • kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle British Columbia member
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    I would wear my ring(s).  Although seeing as I'm NEY that could change I guess.  I just don't see why I should have to hide them.  I can understand preferring to just wear a wedding band if your e-ring is flashy, but I would feel wrong hiding the fact I'm married.  Men wouldn't, so I wouldn't want to.


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  • Well, like I said, I didn't wear mine, and now that I'm done with the interview, I don't think they would have cared at all. However, I am so colored by my previous experience and am interviewing for positions that require travel, so I think I still wouldn't wear my ring. I don't want someone to think I'm going to get pregnant and no longer be able to travel. Of course, those of you who know me know I have zero desire to get pregnant anyway.

    I had a friend who had to change jobs within our company because she was pregnant and couldn't travel but didn't want to lose her job. After our old director was fired, the new one kept harassing her for not traveling and kept accusing her of having some ulterior reason for not traveling other than her daughter.

    Amanda - I understand what you're saying about representing yourself, but everything I'm already doing is not me. I won't wear a suit, heels, or makeup to the actual job (unless there's something special going on), but I wear them to the interview.

  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2012
    The thought to not wear my ering would never cross my mind. I don't really get not wearing it if you're engaged and normally wear it every other day. I never take mine off and an interview would be no different. I agree with Tiger, if my ring or me being engaged is an issue then I probably don't want to work there because that's bullshit.



  • I'm not engaged, but I'd definitely wear whatever I'd normally be wearing on a daily basis as far as jewelry goes. I don't think it would occur to me that it might somehow be "better" to take the rings off... Doesn't really make sense IMO.
  • tuarceathatuarceatha member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-you-wear-your-rings-to-an-interview?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f768a0f4-04b8-4543-b34e-7029c4dff92ePost:fee707f0-b2ab-40dd-8e43-0931bb8d37ae">Re:Would you wear your rings to an interview?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The thought to not wear my ering would never cross my mind. I don't really get not wearing it if you're engaged and normally wear it every other day. I never take mine off and an interview would be no different. I agree with Tiger,<strong> if my ring or me being engaged is an issue then I probably don't want to work there because that's bullshit.</strong>
    Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this. Also not wearing your ring seems kinda like misrepresenting yourself. When you get engaged and married you are making a commitment that shouldn't be something you feel the need to hide from anyone. It is part of who you are. You're someone's fiancee/wife--what of it? You can't justify hiding your kids because an employer might not like a soccer mom or a "new" mom. Just my opinion.

    Plus I wanted this damn thing for so long, there is no way I'm hiding it from anyone accept possible thieves. Those jerkfaces can't see it.
  • I am a supervisor and it is against interview everything to ask about personal lives. You should not be judged if you wear your ring. If you have the bling show it....
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-you-wear-your-rings-to-an-interview?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f768a0f4-04b8-4543-b34e-7029c4dff92ePost:7e674fde-e87e-4c0f-acc2-cb8bcd53bc0b">Re:Would you wear your rings to an interview?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Would you wear your rings to an interview? : That's the point-they're not allowed to ask you any questions about your personal life, but by wearing a ring, you're sort of volunteering that information. I agree that it depends a lot on what kind of field you're going into. As a nurse, I wouldn't think twice about it, as most nurses are women, and many are married and moms. If I were going to interview at a high power law firm, or something, I might think twice about wearing it, as I wouldn't want to give them any reason to question my commitment to the job.
    Posted by jorja86[/QUOTE]

    All of this.

    I was married when I interviewed for the job I just got, so I wore both rings. If I was still just engaged I most likely would have taken off my e-ring for fear of the interviewer making a judgement about if I would need time off for a wedding/honeymoon.
    5/27/12
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-you-wear-your-rings-to-an-interview?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f768a0f4-04b8-4543-b34e-7029c4dff92ePost:4de9ff2e-1480-41ec-815b-e81e1cc2fca9">Re: Would you wear your ring(s) to an interview?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am a supervisor and it is against interview everything to ask about personal lives. You should not be judged if you wear your ring. If you have the bling show it....
    Posted by lovinglife1978[/QUOTE]

    I think we're all aware that it's illegal to ask those types of questions. We're more so talking about unspoken judgements made by the interviewer. As Jorja said, by wearing an e-ring/wedding ring you are in a sense disclosing information about your marital status.
    5/27/12
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  • I think for some of us, it's not about trying to represent ourselves as not married or in relationships.  There are some fields that jewelry like a larger engagement ring may lead to negative stereotypes (along with wearing designer clothing, shoes, or other flashy jewelry) - mostly because these jobs either don't pay the type of salary to afford these things or because the field is focused on providing charity and services to those in need.  

    I think most people are of the opinion that if you take a lower paying job at a non-profit or doing community service based jobs, it's because you are dedicated to the mission more so than you are concerned with monetary compensation.  Wearing flashy things can give off the opposite of that.  Obviously one's attitude is always a good way to dispel any negative stereotypes, but people might still judge, and interviewers might question how you would fit in with the organization's environment and mission.

    Real life example - I am the only person I know at my job who wears a diamond ring on a daily basis - but I had been working there for 18 months when we got engaged and I super downplay any talk about our wedding or engagement (most people didn't know I was engaged until they saw the ring).  Simple bands are the flashiest jewelry I've seen on other people at work (academic research lab - even though I work at an expensive private university, salaries for our field are still laughably low, especially for the work people put in).  People in my field also tend to drive older cars, live in smaller apartments (studios for two 30-something adults), and don't wear expensive clothing.  That's just the climate of my field.  If I intended on staying in this field, I might think differently about my choice of jewelry as I try to advance my career.  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-you-wear-your-rings-to-an-interview?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:f768a0f4-04b8-4543-b34e-7029c4dff92ePost:ecbc5e6a-f3c6-43dc-90b7-dafb6748ee41">Re:Would you wear your rings to an interview?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Would you wear your rings to an interview? :  Also not wearing your ring seems kinda like misrepresenting yourself. When you get engaged and married you are making a commitment that shouldn't be something you feel the need to hide from anyone. It is part of who you are. You're someone's fiancee/wife--what of it? You can't justify hiding your kids because an employer might not like a soccer mom or a "new" mom. Just my opinion.
    Posted by jenjenniferf[/QUOTE]

    Haha...  I disagree with almost all of this.  :)

    Out of the realm of job interviews, what about women who are engaged but choose not to wear e-rings or people (male or female) who choose not to wear wedding bands?  Are they just misrepresenting themselves all the time?

    What about the fact that I prefer the title "Ms." to "Mrs.?"  Am I misrepresenting myself whenever I put "Ms." on something by using an identity that isn't tied to a marital status?

    The way I see it, choosing not to wear rings during job interviews (or at any other time) isn't <em>lying</em> about your marital status; it's simply a statement that your marital status isn't relevant to the situation.  Now, if Leia were asking whether she should remove her ring for something else... say, like, meeting up with an old flame...  I would side-eye the crap out of that.

    You said that being engaged or married is "part of who you are" and I just don't view it that way.  It's a stat about me, sure, like my hair color or age, but it doesn't define anything about me, and choosing whether to disclose my marital status isn't any more deceptive than highlighting my hair.
  • I can understand those points Katnis and Elle... They just do not all apply to me. So I guess I should say I would answer Leia's original question with "Yes, I would wear my ring(s) to a job interview, because I wouldn't want to misrepresent myself." 
  • I'm still pretty undecided, and I guess I won't really know for sure until I actually have an e-ring and wedding band and have an interview to attend. That being said...

    My plan is to become a secondary school teacher, which I think is more family-oriented than, say, a corporate career, so I doubt that wearing my ring or my band will inhibit me in any way. On the other hand, teaching career prospects aren't all that great in my neck of the woods, so if I have an interview with a school board, I wouldn't want to give them the impression that I would be needing maternity leave soon after hire.

    Never realized what a complicated idea this could be...
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  • I've had this go through my head as well.  I left my last job and moved to the area because I got engaged (for many reasons, we weighed several issues before I moved), so I suppose I volunteer that information because they do ask about previous employers and seeing they're in another city, ask what brought me here, but after almost 5 months of no luck on the job front, it's making me wonder if I should change my approach.  Could I say I left on good terms but moved for personal reasons and leave it at that and keep my ring in my pocket?  If they see a ring, they may think I could be distracted (which is dumb), but should be able to put two and two together and know that yes I will be needing time off at some point. Hell, I'm usually asked in the interview if there are any upcoming dates that I'm not available to work, am I allowed to just give dates without explinations?  I love that I'm engaged to a wonderful man, I love that I have a ring and the whole world can see it, I'm just wondering if the job market has gotten THAT competitive and the employers THAT picky that they'll dismiss anyone as a candidate for any reason? :/
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