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This is what I get out of this post:You gave "X" money to your daughter to be used for the wedding and as a gift. - What you should have done is given "y" amount money for the wedding. Then on the wedding day given them a check for 'z' amount. You didn't even have to tell them about the gift until the wedding day. That way your wishes were being honored. Once you give the money to her it's out of your control.I really don't know what your alimony has to do with this. Sure it sucks you have to pay alimony, but what she does with the money is none of your business. Just like it's none of her business what you do with your money. Future-in-laws - your daughter and FSIL need to grow a spine. If they don't want a big wedding then they need to say so. Period. If they give in then the consequences are for THEM to cover the costs. Not you and not her mother. Your daughter and FSIL. If they choose to use all the money you gave them then it's their business. Sorry, but you just have to let it go.At this point I would just step and way and let your daughter and her FSIL handle it. You gave the money. Your part is done. Actually you've done more than your part.