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September 2010 Weddings

Oh...My...God (RSVP Rant)

I know, I know, I thought we were done with these, but yesterday I got an RSVP from FI's aunt and uncle with the words "Mr. and Mrs. Blahblahblah and Fam"

I was under the impression that this was an older couple whose children were all grown and out of the house, so I was a little confused by this. FMIL called them today for more info, and it turns that they are planning on being a group of TEN PEOPLE!!!!!! We only invited 2, and somehow got 10. FI's aunt and uncle, their GROWN children, those children's spouses, and their kids!! All for a grand total of 10. When I got off the phone I screamed.

To answer any advice, I've already switched around the seating chart and we can make them fit, so it's okay, but I just can't believe the audacity. This just seems so ridiculous. Why would someone think that that's ok???
Me: 26 DH: 32
TTC since 08/2010
Anovulatory since at least 12/2010 (probably longer, unDx)
Dx PCOS 3/2012
SA 5/25/12--normal
June 2012--50mg clomid+TI--BFN
July 2012--50mg clomid+Ovidrel+TI--BFN, lining at 5mm
August 2012--5mg femara+Ovidrel+TI

Re: Oh...My...God (RSVP Rant)

  • Wow that is way worse then mine today. I invited 1 person and she RSVPed for 4, didnt put their names so I have no idea who she "thinks" she is bringing
  • Hate rude RSVPers! I have at least 2 families who didn't return thier cards, and when we emailed their answer is "maybe." WTF??!!
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  • ooo that's horrible! at least you can fit them but still!!!! Grown children are not to come unless they have their own invite!!! wtf is wrong with people!!! I had "Dennis" rsvp no today 3 weeks late mind you and thank goodness he was my only dennis left but just he isn't coming since he has a wife and 3 kids too...so am i to mark them all out or just him??? dumby heads.
  • I got a RSVP the other day for 1 ...no name and no meal choice.....but I do get what you are saying, we invited FI's aunt and uncle who live 8 hours away but their daughter just moved into MSU which is like 4 minutes from us so understandably they RSVP'd for her also, then included a friend of hers who also just started MSU and would like something to do with her friend....and thennnn, they called the other night and said they are adding 1 to their RSVP, they had just (that night ) met the daughter's roomie and liked her, so invited the girl they had just met AAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH
    September 18, 2010 :o}
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  • That is such bull. I would've told them no way are you bringing 8 extra people to my wedding! How rude!! What is wrong with people??

  • omg for sure... i dont know how you took that well...
    i would ahve told them... sorry its too late. the wedding is in 5 days i cant do it.

    thats just plain rude.. or i would ahve said there were only 2 ppl invited sorrylol

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  • Wow, you handled that with much more class than I would have (I wouldn't have let them come).  I cannot believe people - even before planning a wedding I would NEVER have added 8 people to my RSVP, and I wouldn't attend a wedding if I didn't KNOW I was invited, either.
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  • OMG!!!! I had someone add her adult son and his girlfriend (her daughter is a BM). I told BM if she wanted her brother to be her plus one that was fine and told the mom no way in H*ll girlfriend was coming and son only because I took her daughters option of a date away. This was extra funny for me because the mom has been pushing BM to date for awhile now (newly divorced).
  • Amanda, you're a better person than I.  No way in the world would I have agreed to add TEN people this late in the game!  The audacity of some people really is just unreal.

  • Ladies, you need to incorporate the word NO **  You said it was ok because you changed the chart, NO IT"S NOT OK!!!!!!!!

    To the person that RSVP'd for 10...that was plain rude. 
    She invited this response by being rude like that:
    Get on the phone and say "I'm sorry we can only accomodate the people that were invited on the invitation to our wedding, hope to see you and your husband there, The 8 others weren't invited and aren't expected, they don't have seats at the reception and no meals will be  provided at this late date, I gave my final numbers to our caterer and they cannot be changed now.
     See you then, gotta run... I'm a very busy bride! BYE! and hang up the phone. 

    Do not give them a chance to say anything just hang up the phone.

    For the woman bringing the college roomate, I would be on the phone in an instant saying no no no I'm sorry, we cannot accomodate any extra guests at this time, period. The daughter ok but the friends and roomates...? Frankly that is absurd to invite someone you just met, you shouldn't allow this to happen.

    Learn to say no now, Don't be a people pleaser. You will please everyone except yourself, and you'll be exhausted by doing for others all the time and and not yourself.
    ESPECIALLY True when you have children. Believe me the users come out of the woodwork and straight after those of you who always say yes.
  • God, I feel your pain.  I got one just like that 2 weeks ago from FI's aunt.  We sent and invitation to his aunt & uncle, who in turn RSVPed for the whole freaking family. 8 adults & 2 children. WTF?? 2 of their children are not married nor in long term relationships. 1 is married and I have never met him or his wife. I wanted to phone and aske WTF? Since when does an invite to 1 couple mean you bring the whole eff'in family?  But I put on my smiley face and calmly put them all on the list.  What else do I do, his family is already up in arms abou t 95% of our wedding choices and I figure if I thrwo a fit like I want too, then I just make my life with the in-laws hell for years to come.
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  • I never spoke directly with these people. FMIL called them because I gave her the list of who needed to be tracked down for missing RSVP's. If I had spoken directly with her, I would have told her no. FMIL called them (and misc other relatives) then called me to give me the info that she had. Trust me, she could tell that I was upset, but some of the people she had called had told her they weren't coming, so while on the phone with FMIL I changed around the seating and was able to make it work. I didn't want to have to put her in that kind of awkward position to call them back and tell them no on my behalf. It's not her fault they're rude.
    Me: 26 DH: 32
    TTC since 08/2010
    Anovulatory since at least 12/2010 (probably longer, unDx)
    Dx PCOS 3/2012
    SA 5/25/12--normal
    June 2012--50mg clomid+TI--BFN
    July 2012--50mg clomid+Ovidrel+TI--BFN, lining at 5mm
    August 2012--5mg femara+Ovidrel+TI
  • I'm going to play devil's advocate here-  Did you invite FI's other cousins and their children?  I guess I'm wondering how this might cause issues with the invitation hierarchy- what I mean by that is that I didn't invite any of my parents' cousins' children.  If one of them RSVP'd that they were bringing their children, I would expect a ration of sh!t from the other cousins whose children weren't invited.  I'm just bringing this up so that you're not opening a can of worms and causing more issues for yourself and family by allowing them to bring EIGHT extra people.  If there are other relatives on that same "level" I would expect some finger pointing and complaining about why THOSE people were invited and THEIR kids weren't, etc.  
  • That's like a coworker of mine came to me yesterday, mind you my wedding is sunday....and told me that she didnt give me the RSVP because she didnt know if she could get a baby sitter, so she found one and wants to RSVP with 3 people....I told her we couldnt accommodate 3 people so late and I was sorry, if she was family I probably would have made space but coworker nahhhh
  • So rude but glad you can accommodate them.
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