Etiquette

WR "I don't get it"

1246

Re: WR "I don't get it"

  • I think this one depends on the circumstance. We have a wedding website because we are having a destination wedding. It is the easiest way to get all the information you need to all your guests. We posted all the hotel information and our coordinator that they need to call to book their room through, seat sales for flights in the the cities that our guests live, things to do in the city we are getting married in ect. Not to mention my fiance and I both have close famlily memebers that live far away and can't be part if our wedding planning so the website is something that they enjoy and makes them feel part of everything. Just my thoughts...
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:21ffa7a6-1d73-4759-8043-284ac1fdeaa0">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't get more than one dress.  Like a reception dress or whatever.  I no get it. I don't get large bridal parties. I don't get grooms cakes.  (i think they're cool/cute... but i don't understand why you have them.  i'd just serve a different cake at the rehearsal dinner.  oh wait we did do that!" i don't get after parties.  around here everyone just parties til 1 or 2 and then we go home. 
    Posted by mandysmear[/QUOTE]

    the groom's cake is a tradition in the Southern US...my grandmother's sly comment was that it used to be the only thing the groom had any say in!  Truthfully, it probably doesn't make any sense if you didn't grow up with it, but we're so stuck in playing out tradition that I doubt it will ever go away 'round here!
  • Bridal portraits where done way back in the day, when you didn't hire a photographer to follow you around all day long an take pictures of your wedding.  Remember back then, the cameras where metal, big, and heavy.  Lighting sources were not as portable as those today.  

    Just old traditions like everything else on a wedding day.

    I live in Pittsburgh...a huge wedding tradition is a cookie table.  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:3fb456c7-192d-4d5d-893c-9d61a3150a2b">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't get people who RSVP and don't show up. Or people who don't RSVP at all. I also don't get why tea length wedding gowns with long bridesmaid dresses...I kinda don't get long bridesmaids dresses at all.
    Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

    SHORT bridesmaids dresses... in January... in the Midwest? Not a chance! They're my bridesmaids because I love them, I certainly don't want to make them miserable!
  • I don't get all the complaining!

    You are going to have to had your wedding your way, others can have it their way.

    Not a very encouraging post for new brides to be! WAY to much negativity was hoping for something a little more funny!
  • I don't get why people spend so much on wedding cake. If mine wasn't included in the price per person, i'd bake pies and cookies.

    I don't get cookie cutter guest books.

    I don't get those pick up dresses that look like a comforter when you wear it. People are going to want to take a nap on your dress.

    I don't get the flower toss or the garter thing. Waste of time, when I could be dancing the night away!

    ps mustouches are hilarious, what's to get.
  • I don't get brides who choose their first posts to biitch about a thread.
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  • We are paying for everything ourselves, and doing a lot of DIY so there are a lot of things I don't get.

    Candy buffet: we are already serving food, cake and wine. I'm not trying to give anyone diabetes.

    The number of envelopes and pieces of paper in traditional wedding invites. I'm a graphic designer, and I have no idea what this is about.

    I second the garter toss comments. It seems creepy to do something so sexual in front of your family.

    ***********

    I do get a DW that is so expensive no one can attend though...my family is so wacky, I've considered it...it's sort of a passive aggressive way of eloping.

    And moustaches. We may have moustaches on sticks, but my fiance has a handlebar moustache and it is kind of his thing.
  • I dont get 50 people wedding parties either, and I cant stand babies crying during a wedding ceremony, probably my biggest pet peeve.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:cd44cef0-1fe0-4150-acac-a8792bbe2784">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't get all the complaining! You are going to have to had your wedding your way, others can have it their way. Not a very encouraging post for new brides to be! WAY to much negativity was hoping for something a little more funny!
    Posted by BradyMD[/QUOTE]

    Or you could grow a thicker skin and recognize that everyone has their own tastes and to each their own, and there's no harm in talking about what you do and don't like in weddings.

    No one's been nasty or catty in this.  Virtually everything you could do for a wedding has been mentioned by someone, and it's all in good fun.

    I did engagement pictures (just got them back yesterday) and have a strapless dress.  I'm not all bent out of shape over people who don't like those things.

    I don't get cake-smashing-in-the-face, having two dresses, and I'm sure there are other things, but I can't think of them right now.
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  • i don't get why you would want to trash your dress instead of saving it as an heirloom to be passed on.
    i dont get mermaid style dresses that are so tight you can barely walk in them from the knees up
    i don't get brides that need to copy wedding ideas and compete with each other. its your day make it yours and forget about anyone else.
  • FYI, a groom's cake makes sense in some situations - like if you and your groom both actually want to eat some of your ridiculously expensive wedding cake.  FI and I have completely different cake tastes, and you know what? our guests probably do too - so we're having two cakes instead of one, calling them a bride's cake and a groom's cake (which they are, since I'm in charge of one and he's in charge of the other), and serving them together at the reception.  Now everyone can eat cake they like.  Hooray.  I like cake.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:d79debce-8c04-4fe6-af36-7713024d8445">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't get being invited to a Jack and Jill when I'm not invited to the wedding.  Why should I pay for your expensive day when you don't even want me there?
    Posted by trinitygc[/QUOTE]

    Out of all the posts on here, this is the only one I completely agree with. That makes no sense and I would absolutely not go. I do like Jack & Jill showers. I go to way too many women only showers and parties. I like to mix it up. Plus, everything is better when my fiance is there.

    What I don't enjoy is receiving lines. I get a little clausterphobic and impatient and usually over heated. But I do understand.

    I don't get why people think they have a say in our wedding.

    I love bird cages, colored shoes and anything else that you choose to express your individuality.

    And I had a blast taking our e-pictures and they turned out amazing. Cherished memories. It's been the happiest time of our life and I am grateful we have those memories captured.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:7bc1fef2-e200-4b20-a50d-d6b0cc187695">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: WR "I don't get it" : Out of all the posts on here, this is the only one I completely agree with. That makes no sense and I would absolutely not go.<strong> I do like Jack & Jill showers. I go to way too many women only showers and parties. I like to mix it up.</strong>Plus, everything is better when my fiance is there. What I don't enjoy is receiving lines. I get a little clausterphobic and impatient and usually over heated. But I do understand. I don't get why people think they have a say in our wedding. I love bird cages, colored shoes and anything else that you choose to express your individuality. And I had a blast taking our e-pictures and they turned out amazing. Cherished memories. It's been the happiest time of our life and I am grateful we have those memories captured.
    Posted by FutureMrsGibb[/QUOTE]

    If you're like me you refer to Jack and Jill showers as a coed shower. I think what she was referring to was that some people hosts showers and don't register for gifts. There is a basket there to collect cards with money in them and they call this a Jack and Jill. The money generally is used towards the costs of their wedding.
    This makes me so angry I can't even handle it. I had never heard of it until TK but recently my friend was invited to one. People have no shame.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:21ffa7a6-1d73-4759-8043-284ac1fdeaa0">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
    [QUOTE] I don't get grooms cakes.  (i think they're cool/cute... but i don't understand why you have them.  
    Posted by mandysmear[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Grooms cakes are apparently only big in the south. Most of the weddings that I've been to have had grooms cakes. The main reason people do a grooms cake is to have something that's more of the grooms personality (since most of the wedding is all about the bride, and the groom only has so much say in the planning) A lot of people do a theme like a truck, dirt bike track, fishing, golfing, sports, whatever the groom is in to. A lot of people now have moved away from that and just have a simple chocolate cake with chocolate icing and strawberries or something (this to me is pointless.) Another reason, most people do chocolate for grooms cake, and white for the brides cake. This way they can have a different flavor for people that don't like the basic white cake. If the groom doesn't like chocolate, they can pick a different flavor. 

    </div>
  • I don't get huge wedding parties,
    I don't get having two different cakes for the bride and groom - isn't the point of getting married to celebrate being together forever?
    I don't get why everyone and their brother must have "and guest". I understand weddings are nice to go to, but when the bride and groom are paying for everything - all of those extra people we are never going to see again are expensive!
  • edited December 2010
    It is amazing how many different opinions there are when it comes to weddings. So many of peoples "pet peeves" are things that I think are great. 

    -Colored wedding dresses (this is so unique I think its great! I love pink and have been seriously debating wether or not I should get one!!)
    -Bicycles in the background (this probably has to do with the couples personalities and hobbies)
    -Trash the dress pictures (just saw an AWESOME video the other day and it made me cry...imagine showing this to your kids years from now...how cool!!!


    I think that all of these things are what makes a wedding look unique. Why would you want to look like every other bride in every other picture at every other wedding? Its boring! These are things that people do at their wedding to make it unique and I think it is brilliant and I hope to think of something unique to add to my wedding to make it stand out from the thousands of others. 

    So I guess I could say that my pet peeve is when a bride focuses too much on tradition and looses her sense of individuality. Break the rules a little bit and let your personality shine through!! 

    With this said, I still believe in "Each to their own"... your wedding is your very special day and you should do it however you want!! 

    I love hearing everyones opinions though!! :)
  • It's not your wedding so why are you trashing it or why do you even care? If it reflects the style of the couple and makes them genuinely happy why do you feel so entitled to take any of that happiness away from them? I'm so disgusted by this whole reply board. I have pep peeves just like everyone else but think about all the beautiful brides and couples that you are affending by posting these mean bitchy posts with a, " my wedding is superior to theirs because of this.." mentality. Why don't you focus on your happiness with your partner instead. That's how you make a beautiful wedding anyways, a lot of happiness love and hard work. If/when your guests see that the wedding is about the BOTH of you, -not just the bride- coming together as one and that's what they're celebrating with you, then congrats. You have succeeded. If it was more about what the bridesmaids wore or what the centerpieces were or what color the veil was, then that's really sad. And it totally shows where your hearts really are. I guess my pet peeve are brides who lose site of what this day is really about because they get so caught up in the "wedding world" aspect of things. Check your heart, stop picking on other people's weddings and grow up.
  • How does one.... check their heart?

    Its a pep peeve of mine to perform surgical procedures on myself.
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  • I REALLY don't get CASH BARS.
    I'm sorry, but I think it's cheap.
    "Hi, come to our wedding, but please pay to have fun"
    We don't make TONNES of money, but we're going to make sure our guests have fun :)

    I also don't get:
    30 ppl WP
    Trash the dress (ughhh)
    NO wedding cake
    Only fish for dinner (Went to a wedding that was strictly fish and seafood, I starved and so did Fiance)
    Allowing every guest bring their own date (We're only allowing that if they've been together for at least a year, or are married/engaged, otherwise they won't give a crap about ME getting married. And they get a free meal!)
    I don't get some brides who don't like planning.. And I only say this because I'm a plannaholic, but to each their own :D
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:f1d17260-1ddf-47ab-9d5c-60aee6a51787">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto almost everything.  I don't get: -Having more than 1 dress -Engagement sessions -Trash the dress sessions -Choreographed dances -1/4 of your guest list being in the WP -Cowboy boots for brides -Spending insane amounts of money on a wedding dress -How people actually cry when they put on "the dress" -Justifying having no bar by saying "we don't drink" -Justifying having no kids by saying "they don't need to see adults drinking"
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I get most of this. I'm okay with some of this, but others are pointless. The Cowboy boots on a bride, only makes since if the bride is actually a cowgirl and wears boots daily (I went to a wedding with the bride wearing them, but it made since, only because it IS her personality) And the no bar because we don't drink, I want a bar even though I rarely drink and my fiance is allergic to alcohol, but I understand why people don't want to have it. It's extremely expensive. Everywhere I've checked requires a bartender, barback, and security if alcohol is served, 2 of each depending on how big the guest list is. They want hundreds for each of those, and then you're supposed to tip the people. Just to have a cash bar, where each guest pays for their own drinks (which a lot of people find tacky) it was going to be almost $1500 once we added all of the costs. If neither of you drink, why would you want to spend that much on your guests? </div><div>
    </div><div>I don't get the large WP, trash the dress, or having multiple dresses, even though some of it could be fun, it's pointless to waste the money. 

    </div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:ce408a8f-c310-432a-8a99-7f65c2d097c0">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
    [QUOTE]I REALLY don't get CASH BARS. I'm sorry, but I think it's cheap. "Hi, come to our wedding, but please pay to have fun" We don't make TONNES of money, but we're going to make sure our guests have fun :) I also don't get: 30 ppl WP Trash the dress (ughhh) NO wedding cake Only fish for dinner (Went to a wedding that was strictly fish and seafood, I starved and so did Fiance) Allowing every guest bring their own date (We're only allowing that if they've been together for at least a year, or are married/engaged,<strong> otherwise they won't give a crap about ME getting married</strong>. And they get a free meal!) I don't get some brides who don't like planning.. And I only say this because I'm a plannaholic, but to each their own :D
    Posted by herecomesthebride1986[/QUOTE]

    <div>Where did you come up with this theory that only couples that have been together for at least a year or are married/engaged would actually care about YOU getting married? Because that is absolute crap. </div>
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  • I don't get the "birds" decorations.
    It was cute the first three times I saw it, now its like, "really you couldn't think of ANYthing else?"
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:821e6e58-e3c6-4684-9a24-2e7438e9b2c4">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: WR "I don't get it" : Where did you come up with this theory that only couples that have been together for at least a year or are married/engaged would actually care about YOU getting married? Because that is absolute crap. 
    Posted by Rosie109[/QUOTE]

    Yeah seriously.  I have people I've never met IRL (like on here) that I am very happy for them to be getting married.  And there are people I've known my whole life who I don't give a crap that they're getting married. 


    Seriously, why are all the newbs coming on here and getting butt hurt about these posts?  Its called "I don't get it" because we are saying things about weddings that we don't get.  Chill the eff out about what you're doing and being upset about it.  There are several things mentioned on here that H and I did.  Just because someone doesn't get it doesn't mean you can't do it.  It just means they wouldn't do it.  If this is how you're going to react to a bunch of regs on a board creating a a harmless thread and having conversations then I highly suggest you stick to your club boards, since most of you won't hack it here and will be crying in a week saying how mean we all are.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:7cd4c562-b062-4101-9fbf-b2ffa0237030">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's not your wedding so why are you trashing it or why do you even care? If it reflects the style of the couple and makes them genuinely happy why do you feel so entitled to take any of that happiness away from them? I'm so disgusted by this whole reply board. I have pep peeves just like everyone else but think about all the beautiful brides and couples that you are affending by posting these mean bitchy posts with a, " my wedding is superior to theirs because of this.." mentality. Why don't you focus on your happiness with your partner instead. That's how you make a beautiful wedding anyways, a lot of happiness love and hard work. If/when your guests see that the wedding is about the BOTH of you, -not just the bride- coming together as one and that's what they're celebrating with you, then congrats. You have succeeded. If it was more about what the bridesmaids wore or what the centerpieces were or what color the veil was, then that's really sad. And it totally shows where your hearts really are. I guess my pet peeve are brides who lose site of what this day is really about because they get so caught up in the "wedding world" aspect of things. Check your heart, stop picking on other people's weddings and grow up.
    Posted by brighteyes14[/QUOTE]

    I did multiple things listed on this thread at my wedding. I'm not hurt because other people don't prefer them. I'm not sure why you're so personally insulted by this.
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  • I'm doing a TTD only because I'm a avid kayaker and so is my FH. So we want to take pictures of us doing things we love and don't want to worry about getting dirty(hopefully not too dirty).

    Things I really don't get...
    -The whole garter thing (it's kinda gross when groom sticks his hand up there for longer than about two seconds)
    -cookie cutter weddings
    -huge weddings (I want to know everyone's name with the exception of his family I haven't met yet)
    - Wedding that over encorage people to drink (A friend got a dui after anothers wedding her own fault but it's still sad)
    -Letting your mom or his mom control every part of your wedding isn't it about the two of you not the two of them (I've learned to say no way)


    I hope everyone has/had a great wedding.
    Loo loo loo I got some apples. loo loo loo you got some too.
  • I don't get buffets. Seriously, don't make me stand in line to get food. 
  • courtney1188courtney1188 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2010
    Okay, so this thread started off as fun. Now it's just a bunch of people whining and wanting to debate and argue and have their feelings hurt because someone on the internet doesn't have the same style as you.

    STOP RUINING A GOOD THREAD.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:8494c47d-4607-40ee-b9d4-62fe45528666">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
    [QUOTE]Cowboy boots on brides.Posted by opalsky007[/QUOTE]

    I am totally doing that!  But I am a born and raised country girl who is getting married outside in the fall.  Not only totally me, but warmer also!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:d09cf524-de52-4e6a-9b19-1102a514545b">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't get engagement pictures, either. I mean, I've seen super cute ones that I love, and I get that most photographers throw 'em in with the package, but we just don't need that many pictures of ourselves and after your wedding, you will have thousands. Engagement pictures to me mean -- take UH (1) picture for the paper.
    Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

    Most people I know use these as save the date pictures, but I decided to just Picnik a candid shot of the two of us for that, save time, and money
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