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August 2011 Weddings

Wedding Favors??? do i really have to

Ok so our wedding is over a year away, We both know that we do want to get something special for our Bridesmaids and Groomsmen, but do we have to have special little trinkets for all our guests?  I think its a little ridiculous how the "wedding" has become so surperficail and all about the guests having a good time.  I don't want to do it but feel like I have to.  Also my father in law to be, used to make quite a bit of money in his job. Through the recession, his wages have been cut almost half and now can not help us with the wedding that he said he would.  It is now all on us and my recently widowed mom.  My fiance and I have started a savings account and put 2010 and will put next years tax return into it to pay for everything. 
I guess what im asking is What are other ppl doing for favors or are you at all? and is there any way that we could go about asking my father in law to help out?

Re: Wedding Favors??? do i really have to

  • We're not doing favors.

    IMO they're a waste of $ unless they're edible lol. I'd rather spend the $ on extra hors d'oeuvres.

    My friend had Godiva chocolates at each place setting, which were good of course, but they're pricey. All of the other favors I've received were cheap trinkets that broke.

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  • We are not doing favors either, we are using that money to have a late night dessert bar if people want something to munch on during the dancing/party.
  • I'm not sure what we're doing about favors. If we do them it will be food. The little trinkets never are worth it.

    You can't ask your future father in law for money. If he can afford it, he'll let you know how much he can cover. If you're under a tight budget, I would recommend checking out the budget board, they have a lot of great ideas!
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  • i was at ma friends wedding last summer and at the table, she randomly put a mark on someones place card and announced at the end of the reception that the people who had the mark won the centerpeice.

    i still havent decided. i might just do the picture frame escort cards. i kind of wanted to stray from that but oh well
  • We are going to do a candy buffet and have that be the favor.  We're going to have little candy bags at everyone place sedding, so they can fill them as they wish during the night.
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  • Welcome to the August 2011 board!

    This economy is tough on everyone, so no need to apologize. We also set up a savings account so it's available when we need to issue a check to a vendor.

    I am doing a budget/DIY wedding, and those boards are a big help. As I find things, or other knotties mention sales or coupons, I pay attention & get what I can along the way (as you know, we've got 15 months!). Google has truly been my best friend

    On to your questions: No, you do not have to do favors. It's not required, and to be honest, I don't recall the favors I got from any wedding I went to. We are doing them, only because there was a great deal a while ago on the knot for 2 glass coasters for 99 cents. I'm putting the guest's monogram in the insert where a photo would normally go, so it's personalized for them, and hopefully something they will use. Each guest is getting 2, so a married couple will get 4. Printing and inserting the monograms will be one of the last things I do before the wedding, because I'll need to know who is coming to do their coasters.

    I would not ask your future father-in-law to help. If he can, he will offer. Perhaps you and your fiance can tactfully mention at some time that the groom's parents traditionally pay for the rehearsal dinner, so you give him enough time to save something. If things get worse, or he still cannot afford that, then you'll have to pay for it as well.

    Good luck.
  • We are making a donation to the American Diabetes Research fund, b/c my fiance is diabetic and there are many people in both of our families.  Guess usually leave there favors on the table or never use them at home.

    That is just our opinion though!

    GOOD LUCK!!!!
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  • PCGatesPCGates member
    First Comment
    We are having a backyard type thing and among the food is bbq and corn on the cob so the 'favors' are going to be moist towelettes and floss! 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddingchannel.com/main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2011-weddings_wedding-favors-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:648Discussion:1e55732b-8bb3-4a3e-8a60-df73348c9edePost:19637174-5eb3-4103-979b-74c433850027">Wedding Favors??? do i really have to</a>:
    [QUOTE]  ... but do we have to have special little trinkets for all our guests?  I think its a little ridiculous how the "wedding" has become so surperficail and all about the guests having a good time.  I don't want to do it but feel like I have to.
     ...  I guess what im asking is What are other ppl doing for favors or are you at all? and is there any way that we could go about asking my father in law to help out?
    Posted by lillyfoot4[/QUOTE]

    More than half of all weddings I have been to (which is LOTS)  have not had favors.  I never knew anybody missed them.

    The most common that people do take - is edibles.  But they are not at all necessary.

    FIL contributing - do not count on anything.  If his situation improves, he may offer, but he may not only have taken a loss in  salary, that you know about,  but stocks, andy any investments for retirement may be worth a half or a quarter of what they were 2 years ago, so that even if salaries improve, he is not in any position to give any money for a long time.  Don't ask.  If he can, later, he may offer.

    In addition to cutting favors - start by cutting totally unnecessary costs.

    Until wedding industry folks decided they could make money with selling Save the Date Cards and magnets and photo cards,  no one sent them and no one needed to.

    Everyone told people on the phone, or in a letter (email will do for 75% to save stamps, and send a postcard to others.)

    You have plenty of time to look at free email cards, or to use free motifs and design a card with your info to email, all the information, no cost.

    Limos are expensive, and not at all necessary.  At most, hire a town car - much cheaper - for the trip to the ceremony, and ceremony to reception ( 2 hour Max) and have someone bring your card, or drive you home.

    If you can find a reception venue that will let you pay a bartender  or 2 for the night, and buy your own booze, you can cut your bar bill to half or less.

    When negotiating with a caterer,  make it an absolute requirement, that for the whole reception and any cocktail hour,  all sodas, soft drinks, juice, water, iced coffee and iced tea  be considered part of the food bill, not the bar bill.

    Just as in a restaurant, a second cup of coffee or a soda twice as big would only cost $1 more,  Have them add $4  to the price per plate to comer 4 non- alcoholic drinks for the night.  If they won't, tell them goodby and walk away.

    Otherwise, you will find that you are not only getting charged 5-8 dollars for each coctail, but $3 to $4.50  for a cup of after dinner coffee or a soda.  This kind of thing is not just profit, it is OUTRAGEOUS  mark up.

    Also, figuring the non- alcoholic beverages with the food bill means that they count toward any minimum purchase dollar level  set for food, in case the number who decline come below  your expected numbers. 

    Consider your setting when looking at costs.  For a super formal ballroom, for example, you might only want cut flowers.  But a cut flower centerpiece can run 40 to 100 dollars for every one of 10 to 20 tables.   But if you marry at a venue with an Inn, historic home, or country club with outdoor courtyard,  maybe baskets with a flowering plant or 2 would give you a low, gorgeous 15 inch diameter centerpiece for under $30 dollars for a plant or 2 and a basket.

        Half your tables can have vases of flowers, half something different, if you really love cut flowers.  The candles and blossoms floating in bowls for half your tables would then be under $15 each.

    Things like this can really add up to a $500 to $1000 savings, while still having a look you want.

     You have time for this kind of planning.
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