When to discuss BP budget?

d2va · April 2013

Im early in my planning, but I dont want to jump the gun and ask my girls what their budget is too early!

IWhen do you think is the right time? After I purchase my dress? Before?

Maggie0829 · April 2013

I don't think there is a right or wrong time to ask your BMs what their budgets for the dresses are. I would just casually ask each one the next time you see them or talk to them. Of course, don't make them purchase anything until your wedding gets closer (and when they purchase will completely depend on where you are getting their dresses from).

d2va · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-to-discuss-bp-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7959cd52-dd5a-4a2f-b336-d66276065d27Post:e8ba419b-3020-4853-b83a-b627fcafa9c8">Re: When to discuss BP budget?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think there is a right or wrong time to ask your BMs what their budgets for the dresses are. I would just casually ask each one the next time you see them or talk to them. Of course, don't make them purchase anything until your wedding gets closer (and when they purchase will completely depend on where you are getting their dresses from).
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-to-discuss-bp-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7959cd52-dd5a-4a2f-b336-d66276065d27Post:c9220aaf-a0fa-4252-a1cf-73b80287f707">Re: When to discuss BP budget?</a>:
[QUOTE]Your profile says your wedding is next May. I'd say you have plenty of time, but I don't think it's ever too early to talk budget (though you may have jumped in the gun a little in asking your girls so early, period). I wouldn't even start looking at bridesmaid dresses until the fall. Wedding planning is stressful enough... Relax a while, and enjoy being engaged. You've got plenty of time to stress over the details.
Posted by TheMissusLia[/QUOTE]

<div>I did jump the gun and I did ask too early! LOL I actually noticed a few friends on facebook who announced / asked their BP like a week after the engagement! </div><div>
</div><div>Thank you! The reason why I ask mostly is because I have my SIL which is a brides maid and Im not sure of her money situation. So I would prefer to actually ask her over the other girls and then go from there. </div><div>
</div><div>If anything, I will help her with her dress, but I just wanted to find out.</div><div>
</div><div>thank you ladies!!! </div></div><div>
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AddieCake · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-to-discuss-bp-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7959cd52-dd5a-4a2f-b336-d66276065d27Post:c56b7405-70d4-441b-bc5e-7c20085fa2a7">Re: When to discuss BP budget?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: When to discuss BP budget? : In Response to Re: When to discuss BP budget? : I did jump the gun and I did ask too early! LOL I actually noticed a few friends on facebook who announced / asked their BP like a week after the engagement! Thank you!<strong> The reason why I ask mostly is because I have my SIL which is a brides maid and Im not sure of her money situation. So I would prefer to actually ask her over the other girls and then go from there. </strong> If anything, I will help her with her dress, but I just wanted to find out. thank you ladies!!!
Posted by d2va[/QUOTE]
But her budget is not the only one that matters. You still need to ask ALL of them. Another one of them may end up having a smaller budget than your SIL. <div>
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d2va · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-to-discuss-bp-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7959cd52-dd5a-4a2f-b336-d66276065d27Post:4b69bd22-e6e3-4eb4-9b8f-55c5ffd66718">Re: When to discuss BP budget?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: When to discuss BP budget? : But her budget is not the only one that matters. You still need to ask ALL of them. Another one of them may end up having a smaller budget than your SIL.
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

<div>I know that, but my other BMs are already looking at $300 BM dresses... so I have a good feeling that they are okay with that budget ( I think thats high IMO) </div><div>
</div><div>I will ask all of them individually.<span style="white-space:pre;" class="Apple-tab-span"> </span></div>

jemmini6 · April 2013

Just to throw this in here since you said some BMs are looking at $300 dresses and then others who you aren't sure of their budgets: keep in mind the possibility of just picking a color and general style and let each BM choose a dress on their own. Mismatching BM dresses are quite popular now since it lets everyone choose a style for their body style, while having the major benefit of allowing them to determine their own budget too.

d2va · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-to-discuss-bp-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7959cd52-dd5a-4a2f-b336-d66276065d27Post:fcf115c7-dc55-4579-b08c-a4e2a2389c56">Re: When to discuss BP budget?</a>:
[QUOTE]Just to throw this in here since you said some BMs are looking at $300 dresses and then others who you aren't sure of their budgets: keep in mind the possibility of just picking a color and general style and let each BM choose a dress on their own. Mismatching BM dresses are quite popular now since it lets everyone choose a style for their body style, while having the major benefit of allowing them to determine their own budget too.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

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</div><div>Yes, I brought that up too! As I think its funky, and I like it! I was with 4 out of my 5 girls and they all were excited about matching LOL</div><div>
</div><div>I will definitely set up a date for ALL the girls to get together and meet each other as my FSIL has only met one of my maid which is my MOH, and we will discuss whether we want to do matching or not, but before then I will speak to everyone about budget!</div><div>
</div><div>Also, hows a nice way to ask?</div><div>
</div><div>"Hey I was just wondering what your budgets are for dresses?" <span style="white-space:pre;" class="Apple-tab-span"> </span></div>

JMalettas · April 2013

I was engaged May 1, 2012, and I asked my girls to be a part of our wedding party that August. I believe my girls chose & purchased their dresses late fall, early winter. Which would have been around 9 months before our wedding at the time. They knew of the colour I wanted, and all agreed/chose a dress that I gave the go-ahead with. I didn't discuss budget with them, as they were quite eager to pick something, & basically had the dress they wanted picked out before I had that chance. I do agree though, that if you do discuss budget with your girls, and 4 are okay with $300, and one has a max budget of $150, that you're going to have to go with the smaller budget. My girls chose their dress from Davids Bridal, and I believe it came to $134 with tax and shipping. A couple nice things about DB is that they have LOTS of colours to choose from, & their price points are generally a little lower. So maybe worth checking the website!

jemmini6 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_when-to-discuss-bp-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7959cd52-dd5a-4a2f-b336-d66276065d27Post:c2a33007-24b7-43aa-a821-de57b11ef8f4">Re: When to discuss BP budget?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: When to discuss BP budget? : Yes, I brought that up too! As I think its funky, and I like it! I was with 4 out of my 5 girls and they all were excited about matching LOL I will definitely set up a date for ALL the girls to get together and meet each other as my FSIL has only met one of my maid which is my MOH, and we will discuss whether we want to do matching or not, but before then I will speak to everyone about budget! <strong>Also, hows a nice way to ask? "Hey I was just wondering what your budgets are for dresses?" </strong>
Posted by d2va[/QUOTE]

<div>Definitely ask each girl individually. Not everyone is comfortable discussing their finances in front of others, or they may feel pressured to agree to a higher price than they are truly comfortable with if done in a group setting.</div><div>
</div><div>You have the right idea for wording, and also be sure to keep the tone casual. Maybe say "hey, I'm starting to look around at BM dresses and I wanted to make sure I don't consider anything that's too expensive. What are you comfortable spending for a dress?" Then set the limit at the lowest price that you get, so if one says $300, but another says $100, then you need to look at $100 dresses.</div>

erinlin25 · April 2013

I emailed all my girls individually for I did not want to call and put them on the spot. Each girl was able to think and respond, which they all said we will get whatever you want; I know they loved that we picked dresses under 150 though (two were even under 100!)--they were all going to get different styles but 3 liked one and 2 liekd the other, so went with that instead. I would have for sure discouraged them if they wanted to spend $300! That is way too much for a bridesmaid dress IMO and I would feel super guilty--even if they said it was OK.

Edit: also in terms of when to ask, I asked budgets in January and we shopped in February. I just did not want to do any wedding stuff during the holidays. unless somene specifically asks you earlier I would wait a month or two before you need to know.

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