Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion
Options

NWR - Ettiquette on birthday dinner?

SJM7538SJM7538 member
5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I posted a couple of weeks ago about potentially wanting to plan a 30th birthday party this fall for my fiance. His birthday will fall a weekend after the wedding, while we are on our honeymoon and I was basically looking for some insight into whether or not planning a party for 60+ people the weekend after we get back was doable.

Well after putting some thought into it and making a list of all the stuff I still have to do for the wedding, I realized I will just be taking on WAY to much. We have a lot of family birthdays and his cousins wedding about a month before ours as well. I talked to his mom and we are going to scale it back and just do a birthday dinner at his favorite restaurant with our closest family and friends the Saturday after we get back from our honeymoon.

So my question is... what is the ettiquette on the birthday dinner. Since we will be having it at a restaurant am I still technically hosting a party and expected to pay for it? I most certainly will if thats the proper ettiquette on it but I want to make sure. Thanks!
Report Reply to Post

Re: NWR - Ettiquette on birthday dinner?

  • Options
    NYCBride2013NYCBride2013 member
    Name Dropper First Comment
    If you are sending out invites and formally inviting people then yes you need to host/pay for it.  Alternatively, if you just mention to friends that you are going to be celebrating at X restaurant and they are welcome to join then you are not obligated to pay.  I have been invited to both and am not offended either way I just adjust the gift I would give depending on the relationship with the person.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Kate61487Kate61487 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker

    H and I always pay the full tab when we ask people out for his, my, or his mom's b-day.

    That said, technically you could do a "we will be celebrating here and if you want to join us stop by" and excuse yourself from the formal hostess role.  But I'd rather get a head count, make a reservation, etc.

    image

     

    Report Reply
  • Options
    STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    My circle of friends has an informal rule that once you turn 30, you pay for your own birthday party. Kinda fun step towards being a real adult.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-ettiquette-on-birthday-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ebf48192-2775-4094-aedd-c1439ef9e71bPost:ae01a817-f4e4-4c0a-9161-78b9474c08d4">NWR - Ettiquette on birthday dinner?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I posted a couple of weeks ago about potentially wanting to plan a 30th birthday party this fall for my fiance. His birthday will fall a weekend after the wedding, while we are on our honeymoon and I was basically looking for some insight into whether or not planning a party for 60+ people the weekend after we get back was doable. Well after putting some thought into it and making a list of all the stuff I still have to do for the wedding, I realized I will just be taking on WAY to much. We have a lot of family birthdays and his cousins wedding about a month before ours as well. I talked to his mom and we are going to scale it back and just do a birthday dinner at his favorite restaurant with our closest family and friends the Saturday after we get back from our honeymoon. So my question is... what is the ettiquette on the birthday dinner. <strong>Since we will be having it at a restaurant am I still technically hosting a party and expected to pay for it? I most certainly will if thats the proper ettiquette on it but I want to make sure. Thanks!</strong>
    Posted by SJM7538[/QUOTE]

    If you are inviting people out with invites, etc, you are required to host. If you were planning on paying for it anyway when it was for 60+ at home, this should still be NBD. Depending on the number, you may want to reserve a separate room if you can.
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    SJM7538SJM7538 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-ettiquette-on-birthday-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ebf48192-2775-4094-aedd-c1439ef9e71bPost:d4ef735c-06c4-4fa8-9047-b87e383901c6">Re: NWR - Ettiquette on birthday dinner?</a>:
    [QUOTE]H and I always pay the full tab when we ask people out for his, my, or his mom's b-day. That said, technically you could do a "we will be celebrating here and if you want to join us stop by" and excuse yourself from the formal hostess role.  <strong>But I'd rather get a head count, make a reservation, etc.
    </strong>Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]

    I'm leaning towards this as well. The restaurant gets pretty busy and I can't imagine just showing up and waiting around for 30+ minutes with 15 or 20 people.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    NYCBride2013NYCBride2013 member
    Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-ettiquette-on-birthday-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ebf48192-2775-4094-aedd-c1439ef9e71bPost:13723d09-acf5-4ac4-a67b-300d61b6f4b5">Re: NWR - Ettiquette on birthday dinner?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR - Ettiquette on birthday dinner? : I'm leaning towards this as well. The restaurant gets pretty busy and I can't imagine just showing up and waiting around for 30+ minutes with 15 or 20 people.
    Posted by SJM7538[/QUOTE]

    For parties that I have attended with no host, they usually just ask you let them know if you will be in attendance so that they can make a reservation.  This was NBD to me.  Even if they did not ask for a response, I would definitely let them know if I was coming just so that they were aware.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards