Chit Chat

Most Embarrasing Date!

Entertainment for Rachel's request. Let's give her something to laugh about!!

I was visiting CA on the 4th of July as I was planning to move there and start a new life and be with my boyfriend. His family is fairly wealthy and invited us to celebrate with them on this special  $$$ cruise around San Francisco Bay with a 4 course meal and unlimited top shelf alcohol. This is really the first length of time I spent with them (including parents, 3 brothers and daughter in law), I wasn't much of a drinker before that day for anything but wine.

They started me off with Champagne, then gave me a giant glass of cab. -- I didn't notice that the waiter kept topping off my glass. Then, there was group shot session...and I lost count at 4 drinks total but others hadn't lost count and apparently I had 11. I was super drunk. We go up to the top of the boat to see the fireworks go off and it was really too foggy so I just started professing my love for this guy I had just started dating. Then, on the way back down the stairs, I started to have trouble walking. I was really dizzy and he helped me down the stairs and to my seat. Dessert was on the table. I stared at it for a few minutes trying to decide if anything else should enter my body. His sister in law came to tug on me to dance...somehow I ate a raspberry....and all of the sudden, I grabbed a napkin and threw up in it....and didn't stop there. They rushed me to a bathroom where I was for the rest of the event, puking constantly,  my new boyfriend was holding my hair back, I was bawling about the first impression I gave his family and how embarrassed I was. I was inconsolable.

The the boat stopped and I had to come out and face them and the waiter who had to clean up after me and they were really nice and consoling....the brother drove us home and later I found out that the boyfriend had to roll the window down a lot and stick his head out because I smelled so badly.

When I got home, the whole family was laughing at me and started to tell me their drunken stories. I'm still incredibly close to that family, they have NEVER let me live it down.

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You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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Re: Most Embarrasing Date!

  • OMG!!!  That was amazing!!!  I got a good laugh out of it.  Thank you thank you thank you.

    Sounds like it was fun while it lasted?  :)
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  • Fun for about an hour and a half. Then, not fun. NOT fun.
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    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • oh i bet the next day was even LESS fun!  sounds like you were rolling with the varsity drinking crew for sure!
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  • LoredLored member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    But great story! At least they all seemed to be reallly sweet to you! When I was single, I used to pretty much go out with anyone who asked even if I wasn't into them, because I was going on the premise "Hey, it will be a great story". So my friends amusement always meant more to me than me finding true love. Anyway, my story isn't actually a date, just something embarrassing I remember from dating. I had met this guy and we went on one of those amazing first dates. I was super into him. So I called him from my cell phone in my new car, this was before I understood the whole "Bluetooth" thing. Left a very casual "breezy" message and hung up (I thought). Then I belted (no, seriously BELTED) Hanson MmmmBop for prob like 60 seconds before realizing I was still leaving him a message. Face plant! Never heard from him again. Ok, someone else go. (Think I'm still blushing).
  • ahahah great story!  i now have the song in my head!!!!  not good right before bed.  ahaha
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  • Actually, I've only been hung over once and it wasn't that night, though it was with that family. I learned that I can't hold my liquor for sure.

    Lored - I actually just got heartburn or something from trying not to spit out my soda at the end of that story. I cracked up.

    Let's see,

    - I have a lactose issue. I didn't know what caused my issues as of this date though... but I got incredagas. We were at a store after dinner and I felt it coming on in waves...and I was so scared....my entire mission for the date had changed from being cute and funny to not farting in front of the guy. Every motion, every thought, every action was focused on this single goal....but it was a mission doomed from conception. I kept stopping for a moment, pretending to look at something...then rushed ahead. How many times can you do that before he thinks you're weird? 2? 3? I went to the restroom thinking I could buy myself time....we finally get to the car...and I just couldn't help it.  Shazaaam... Instant horror. First and last date.

    I had a friend go through half her date with her skirt tucked into her panty hose after she went to the bathroom...and she was not wearing underwear beneath them, just the hose.



    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • My first semester of college a guy asked if I wanted to get some lunch. We went to a local burger place. I was having a good time, laughing about class and enjoying my burger. We went for a walk afterwards and sat on a bench. Out of nowhere he lunged at me and grabbed my face. I screamed bloody murder. I failed to mention to him that I had never been on a date so this came out of nowhere. I stayed away from the guy after that.
  • Oh, here's one. This is a screen shot from my actual phone a few months ago with FI. I know it's not a date but.....hopefully it makes you giggle. 

     
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    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • LoredLored member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    This post rocks!!! Glad I'm not the only one....
  • edited March 2013
    My most awkward date was a blind date. My freshman year of college, I started talking online to a senior who went to my university over XMas break. We talked quite a bit (I think he found me through my AOL profile or something random), so when we got back in Jan. he asked me out for coffee. I went and it was so awkward! We had nothing to talk about, he was totally boring, etc.

    We were in the student center at like 9:00 at night and it was totally dead. A group of my friends planned that they would "casually" walk through partway through to see how it was going and it was so obvious they were my friends because they kept staring at us and smiling and they were the only other people in the food court area. Needless to say, we stopped talking completely after this "date."


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_most-embarrasing-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:8538da1f-2e3d-4a07-92a6-694cc8558385Post:d902a042-9fde-47ac-9fa0-15059080309e">Re: Most Embarrasing Date!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh, here's one. This is a screen shot from my actual phone a few months ago with FI. I know it's not a date but.....hopefully it makes you giggle.   
    Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

    I have nothing to add except this is amazing. I was giggling at everyone's stories. Then I read the text. Full on laugh. Thanks!

     

  • Heehee,this is embarrassing in retrospect, because to this day I am ashamed of how clumsily I handled it:

    I used to visit a friend of mine at his workplace, and he had the world's creepiest co-worker.  The guy would stare at me the whole time (and looked vaguely like Golum). Plus he was twice my age.  I kept him at arm's length, and avoided advances with grace.

    Several months go by, and I am doing online dating.  I see a guy's profile,looked like my age, vaguely interesting, why not?  I exchanged a few e-mails back and forth with him, and arranged to meet for a lunch.

    I show up for the date, and guess who it is?  Golum-guy.  Apparently he had used a fake profile pic.  I was freaked out, and just stared at him with huge eyes for the first 10 minutes of the date, desperately trying to figure out a way out.  Approxomately 15 minutes into the date, he reaches across the table, snags my hand, and tells me that I am the most special woman in the world.  Eeeeeeek!

    I retreated, nay, ran to the bathroom, and desperately dialed my friend on the phone.  I explained as coherantly as possible that I needed a date intervention, and begged her to crash my date.  She was in the area, and easily amused, so she agreed.

    My friend shows up with her boyfriend, pretending to just walk by.  I bolt up and go "Oh!  Rachael!  I haven't seen you in forever!!!  Hey Golum-guy, do you mind if I hang out with Rachael?  It's been years and I miss her.  Kaythnxbye!"

    It was shamefully bad, and he probably complains about that date to anyone who sits long enough to listen to him to this day.  :/
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_most-embarrasing-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:8538da1f-2e3d-4a07-92a6-694cc8558385Post:1427b743-0063-43f0-b466-1632f450a5d6">Re: Most Embarrasing Date!</a>:
    [QUOTE] I show up for the date, and guess who it is?  Golum-guy.  Apparently he had used a fake profile pic. 
    Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

    Ye Olde Bait and Switcheroo! Mahna Mahna!
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_most-embarrasing-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:8538da1f-2e3d-4a07-92a6-694cc8558385Post:9574bb75-c9a1-45bf-a222-6ab860ae5fc0">Re: Most Embarrasing Date!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Most Embarrasing Date! : I have nothing to add except this is amazing. I was giggling at everyone's stories. Then I read the text. Full on laugh. Thanks!
    Posted by staar987[/QUOTE]

    If you heard the whole story, you'd be dying. But I figured that was sufficiently funny by itself.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • staar987staar987 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited March 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_most-embarrasing-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:8538da1f-2e3d-4a07-92a6-694cc8558385Post:8cf9306d-520d-4e74-a9d6-9508a9086987">Re: Most Embarrasing Date!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Most Embarrasing Date! : If you heard the whole story, you'd be dying. But I figured that was sufficiently funny by itself.
    Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

    I don't think it is fair to tempt me like this and then leave me hanging!

     

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_most-embarrasing-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:8538da1f-2e3d-4a07-92a6-694cc8558385Post:d902a042-9fde-47ac-9fa0-15059080309e">Re: Most Embarrasing Date!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh, here's one. This is a screen shot from my actual phone a few months ago with FI. I know it's not a date but.....hopefully it makes you giggle.   
    Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]



    This made me laugh so hard I had tears streaming down my face. Thank you!

    Everyone's stories are so amazing and funny!!!,
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_most-embarrasing-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:8538da1f-2e3d-4a07-92a6-694cc8558385Post:d902a042-9fde-47ac-9fa0-15059080309e">Re: Most Embarrasing Date!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh, here's one. This is a screen shot from my actual phone a few months ago with FI. I know it's not a date but.....hopefully it makes you giggle.   
    Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

    You HAVE to tell us the entire story...I am dying here!! It would just be cruel to keep us in suspense!

    This isn't an embarassing date story, but your text reminded me when I walked in the wrong bathroom at my college and saw one of my professor's using the urinal "peter" and all...and of course he saw me. The only thing I could think to say was "oh boy I better get started on your assignment!" and ran out.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_most-embarrasing-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:8538da1f-2e3d-4a07-92a6-694cc8558385Post:42497e8c-5e15-4f92-bb0e-5c927f788d7e">Re: Most Embarrasing Date!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Most Embarrasing Date! :<strong> Ye Olde Bait and Switcheroo! </strong>Mahna Mahna!
    Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

    My mom was doing POF for a while and some guy in his "late 40's" is virtually hitting on her. She was surprised at how young he looked for being his age yadda yadda yadda... I ask to see a picture and this is the picture:

     <a style="width:162px;height:191px;" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&sa=N&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1920&bih=908&tbm=isch&tbnid=t2usZwn8CngZiM:&imgrefurl=http://www.thevictoryformation.com/2012/09/06/rob-gronkowski-is-a-five-figure-birthday-party-crasher/&docid=lzIyESp4hsgIkM&imgurl=http://www.thevictoryformation.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/rob-gronkowski-vegas-03-480w.jpg&w=480&h=596&ei=-UBUUZv9JtTH4AOipICoBg&zoom=1&ved=1t:3588,r:29,s:0,i:182&iact=rc&dur=406&page=1&tbnh=191&tbnw=162&start=0&ndsp=35&tx=69&ty=130" class="rg_l" rel="nofollow"><img style="width:162px;height:201px;margin-left:0px;margin-top:0px;" class="rg_i" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQg6EFFFkLvAq5zBqq7niv1Yv02XpYXKFHhNRl4h0705z9kyvIK" alt="" /></a>

    Rob Gronkowski from the NE Patriots. Needless to say she stopped talking to him.
    <a style="width:162px;height:191px;" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&sa=N&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1920&bih=908&tbm=isch&tbnid=t2usZwn8CngZiM:&imgrefurl=http://www.thevictoryformation.com/2012/09/06/rob-gronkowski-is-a-five-figure-birthday-party-crasher/&docid=lzIyESp4hsgIkM&imgurl=http://www.thevictoryformation.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/rob-gronkowski-vegas-03-480w.jpg&w=480&h=596&ei=-UBUUZv9JtTH4AOipICoBg&zoom=1&ved=1t:3588,r:29,s:0,i:182&iact=rc&dur=406&page=1&tbnh=191&tbnw=162&start=0&ndsp=35&tx=69&ty=130" class="rg_l" rel="nofollow"><div class="rg_ilm rg_ilsm" style="width:100%;"><div class="so_text rg_ilmbg"><span class="son rg_ilmn">480 × 596 - thevictoryformation.com</span></div></div></a>
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • When FI and I were barely dating (and I mean BARELY), I had told him a few times that meeting my parents wasn't a big deal. Meeting my brother is like The Sign that I'm serious about a guy. So we went to a bar with a few of my friends, and lo and behold my brother walks in like ten minutes after us. I ran over to my brother and was like "okay look see that boy over there? I really REALLY like him so don't be an ass." Brother says "What's his name?" and I tell him, then he proceeds to YELL IT ACROSS THE BAR like an idiot. I was so embarassed. I was like "omg I didn't plan this but HEY this is my brother. I got the brains and the beauty in this family, apparently!" and laughed it off. It went much better than I expected because my brother was already pretty drunk, so he didn't pester FI with questions and threaten him with bodily harm if he broke my heart.
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  • Hahaha!  I just was able to read the screenshot.  Muppet, I insist on the full story!
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • MuppetFanMuppetFan member
    5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper First Comment
    edited March 2013
    Alright, this is the story that goes with the text.....

    Immediately after dinner at the Olive Garden, I started to feel really sick and needed a bathroom. I do not normally use public bathrooms. Ever. However, it was just that bad. We go to Wal-Mart, Jason was getting in his chair (he uses a wheelchair) and I told him he had to hurry! He said, "Just go!" So I ran inside and I was navigating the traffic trying to make it...I thought about pushing two guys to the ground to get there. I finally make it and run into a stall.

    There was no place to put hang my purse. Weird. I made it work.

    There was poop on the seat which would normally make me leave but I was so sick I couldn't. So I lined the seat with like 10 layers of toilet paper on the sides, top and bottom, and then I tried grabbing the seat covers and they kept ripping. I had a bunch of ripped one in my hands and I thought about putting them in the sanitary napkin dispenser and then noticed there wasn't one...but they're flushable so i threw it in the toilet. I had to commit to the seat and it was awful... I was totally sick...

    Just as the awfulness happened, I hear some voices as someone opened the door and I was very shocked to hear them come in because they were men. One guy said "Did SHE  just come in here??"  It clicked. No purse hook. No napkin dispenser. Men. F*#k. Oh F#@k. And I sounded disgusting and smelled worse. I tried so hard not to make a sound... 

    Another guy comes in and comments on the smell "Whooah!" I'm trying to do a courtesy flush but you have to get up from the seat to make it flush. F$@k. I made it happen.

    Then, man after man, they parade in. I started to feel ok enough to get up so I got ready to make a run for it.  More men... more... finally they left and I started to exit and wait! there's a guy at the urinals that i didn't notice when I walked in. f$@k. retreat! retreat!

    I wait and wait and wait and then Jason comes in! Obvious with the wheelchiar. I was so excited. I start texting him for help. I figured at least he could ask a guy not to unzip his fly for a moment or something so I can run out. Normally his cell doesn't work in Wal-Mart but I was just elated to hear him receive all the texts. And then completely disappointed not to get a response and see him leave. What?? 

    FINALLY I get an opportunity when a guy helps his kid in the stall and I make a mad dash for the exit. Now, I wanted to go into the women's bathroom because I still wasn't 100% and I go to go in, and there's a janitor looking at me funny as I was coming from the men's bathroom...and he was in front of a sign about how the women's bathroom was closed for cleaning. f@%k.

    So I go to find Jason. He had just read my  texts. I said, you didn't come back for me! He said no, I didn't. WTF dude!?? 

    He said, he saw my shoes when he came into the stall and saw my pants and thought it was me and wondered if he was in the right bathroom?? but he remembered other men and urinals... 

    He told me I made his day and promptly posted it on FB.

    ETA: Oh yeah, it took about 40 minutes to leave. Later I was telling my dad the story and he said he would've just walked out and said sorry, that he's done it a million times before. I said yeah but when you do it, women are just washing their hands.





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    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • rel1988rel1988 member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Comment First Anniversary
    edited March 2013
    Thanks for sharing haha!! I'm loving the fact that he read your texts and didn't go back in..and in my mind I'm picturing an old scrawny janitor giving you a quizzical look from a bulging eye that is noticeably larger than the other.

    ETA: I just noticed you had just eaten at Olive Garden. I got the most horrible food poisoning from them in HS! I started losing my cookies ALL over the mall I was at afterwards to the point of just having to stick my head in random garbage cans just to make it to the car. Absolutely awful.
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  • Muppet, I just laughed SO HARD.

    My embarrassing date was embarrassing at the time, but funny now. Back in college, I went to a wine bar with a guy I had asked out (he was shy) after we saw a movie. I was drinking red wine, feeling cool, flirting, etc. I had a car, so I drove him back to his apartment, we kissed good night, and then I went home. When I went to brush my teeth, I looked in the mirror and noticed my teeth were purplish-blue from the wine, and I had huge, obvious purple line-stains on my top and bottom lip. I cried and cried. But we dated for several months after that.
  • Muppet, I made the mistake of reading your story while on a conference call... thank goodness for MUTE.

    Omg.  Can't breathe.
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  • MahnaMahnamuhahaha
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • Oh man, that's hilarious!!! Hahaa Muppet, the next time you get stuck in the men's room, walk oit like you own the world. It works!
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

  • I have no funny date stories since I've never been on a true date (started dating FI in high school - I don't think high school "dates" count), but there's no way they would live up to Muppet's anyway. Bravo!
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  • It's sad that embarrasing stories is where I excel. I bet someone could top me though. My assistant woke up 100% naked in the student lounge in college and had no idea how she got there. I think that one is up there.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • Only one? I went out with men we jokingly call the Naked Man, Rose Man, personality profile guy, kiddie surprise, stuck at 13 guy, grandpa, and cow turd boy.
  • And offensive guy and UFO boy. Damn guess I had a good freak radar back in the day.
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