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Is It Mandatory for Bridal Party to be at Wedding Showers?

I just wanted to get other people's opinion on something, especially those going through the wedding process.

My Fiance and I signed up to do a 5K about two months ago. We paid and cannot get a refund. We just found out this week, that our friends, who are also getting married, are having their Wedding Shower on the same day. My Fiance is also a Groomsman in their Wedding.

We are not sure what to do. We already had this planned and paid for, but as an engaged couple ourselves we understand if they want him there, since he is a Groomsman.

As future Brides and your Fiancés, would you accept this as an excuse for one of your Groomsman not to be at your Shower. or would you expect him there?

(Note: Doing both is not an option. Scheduling won't allow it.)
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Re: Is It Mandatory for Bridal Party to be at Wedding Showers?

  • It's not mandatory for WP members to be at the wedding shower. While it sucks that you can't make it you're not doing anything wrong.
  • As the bride, I'd be super bummed, but I'd get over it. If anything, I'd be jealous because you guys are running a 5k and I get winded climbing one flight of stairs lol. It's not mandatory and a true friend would be wishing you good luck in the 5k and not be holding some grudge or what ever.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    No, not mandatory. I'd be bummed, but you already had a commitment to something else, so it's not like you're ditching b/c you just don't want to go. Good luck in the run!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • I'd be bummed. But especially because you can't even get your money back and you already had plans, I'd understand.

  • It is not mandatory for any member of the WP to be anywhere except the wedding ceremony.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    If the B&G truly wanted you there, they would have gotten good dates from you prior to scheduling a date with the host.  It's not required that you attend just because one of you are in the WP.
  • Most of my bridesmaids aren't going to be at my wedding shower (one has an overseas wedding and others live far away).  The two that are local are coming, but that's it.  It makes me a little sad, only because I want to spend more time with them.  The most important thing to me is that they will be there next to me on my wedding day.  Showers and other weddign related events are nice and fun to have, but I think most brides would (or at least should) understand that other people (even those in the wedding party) have their own plans and lives that don't revolve around the wedding
  • I was in a wedding last June and the bride had 2 bridal showers. I unfortunately had prior engagements for the one party and couldn't attend. To me it wasn't the end of the world and I was able to go to the other. The bride however threw a little bit of a tantrum. Hopefully you have an understanding bride!
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  • Definitely not a requirement. My sis/MOH couldn't make either of my showers or my bachelorette party, since she was out of the country.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_is-it-mandatory-for-bridal-party-to-be-at-wedding-showers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1b6cbf00-46a0-4a1c-bc87-2ec16e8edb7dPost:a47a2691-d2a1-4ed4-9cfb-6ddfe6709396">Re: Is It Mandatory for Bridal Party to be at Wedding Showers?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If the B&G truly wanted you there, they would have gotten good dates from you prior to scheduling a date with the host.  It's not required that you attend just because one of you are in the WP.
    Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this.

    I did have a casual cookout for our parents, siblings & bridal party a few months prior to the wedding as a casual way for everyone to meet so everyone would be comfortable with each other on the wedding day. Two of my BM weren't able to come because they had purchased tickets to event out of town the same weekend. It would have been nice to have them at the cookout but I wasn't about to tell them to skip an event that they planned months prior to me planning my cookout. I told them to have fun & went ahead with the cookout. If they are good friends, they will probably miss you, but wish you well at your race.

    Good luck!!
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Well, if I were one of the couple, I'd be bummed, but at the same time I recognize that the more people there are involved, the less chance there is of finding a date that works for everybody.  So, I'd say bridal party members' attendance is not strictly mandatory, but if there's more than one shower, it would be nice to try to attend at least one.
  • It is a couple shower.

    Thank you for all the support, but my FI thinks we should go to the shower. I think it is important to him that he is there. I think because this friend will be Groomsman in our wedding, and I want to support him. So we will skip the race. There will be others.

    Thank you!!
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