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Etiquette

No plus ones on the invite

Hey everyone!

I've got a quick etiquette question. 

I recently received a wedding invitation for a good friend of mine, who, so far, has done a ton of things that go against typical wedding etiquette. Whenever I bring up that it is rude, she just doesn't care, so I have to be annoyed to myself, or gripe to FI about it. 

Now, I knew that she was not including plus ones for her wedding, which is just fine, however when I got the invitation, it was printed on the invitation itself, and I was slightly offended, even though it didn't affect me at all (FI was included on the invite, as we are both friends of the couple). Am I wrong to side eye this? What does etiquette say about a situation like this?

Re: No plus ones on the invite

  • No, it's not right. You never write on an invitation who isn't invited. That's just rude. But, since she obviously doens't care about etiquette and she invited your FI, I'd just ignore it. 
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • Alright, that's what I thought. Thanks!
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Wait, what?  She actually included "no plus one's" on the invitation?  Really?  Wow.

  • How, exactly, did she word this?  Just curious.
    imageimage
  • Yep, right on the invitation. At the botton of the invitation, it says "No plus ones, please".
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to Re: No plus ones on the invite:
    [QUOTE]Yep, right on the invitation. At the botton of the invitation, it says "No plus ones, please".
    Posted by sonya+adam[/QUOTE]

    Huh, I think that is the first time I have ever heard of someone actually writing that on their invitation.

  • Yeah, I had never seen it before either, which is why I was confused about how to feel, haha. 
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited May 2013
    In Response to Re:No plus ones on the invite:[QUOTE]Yep, right on the invitation. At the botton of the invitation, it says quot;No plus ones, pleasequot;. Posted by sonyaadam[/QUOTE] Wow. I wonder how many people are going to think they're the exception. But plus threes are okay, right?
  • sonya+adamsonya+adam member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited May 2013
    Apparently she already had a cousin talk to her about it and tell her that he wasn't going to be able to attend if he wasn't allowed to bring his girlfriend.

    ETA: He RSVP'd for him and his girlfriend, and then he was re-told that there were no plus ones allowed, and that's when he refused to attend.
  • In Response to Re: No plus ones on the invite:
    [QUOTE]Apparently she already had a cousin talk to her about it and tell her that he wasn't going to be able to attend if he wasn't allowed to bring his girlfriend. ETA: He RSVP'd for him and his girlfriend, and then he was re-told that there were no plus ones allowed, and that's when he refused to attend.
    Posted by sonya+adam[/QUOTE]

    ewwwww. Your friend is an a$$hole.
  • In Response to Re:No plus ones on the invite:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:No plus ones on the invite: was it at least in a pretty font?
    Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

    Haha! Nope. Just plain ole Times.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    WTF?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Whaaaat? This is a new one. I guess since people thought it was okay to do this sort of things for kids, it was okay to do this for everyone? It's never okay to say who isn't invited. Why would anyone think this is a good idea? And clearly it doesn't work, since the cousin already said something.
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I can't believe she put that on her invite.  That's worse than "Adults Only".  I'm glad her cousin rescinded his RSVP, I wonder if she even realizes what she did or just doesn't give a flying crap about it.
  • In Response to Re: No plus ones on the invite:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: No plus ones on the invite : ewwwww. Your friend is an a$$hole.
    Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

    Seconded.  The cousin wasn't asking to bring a plus one - he was asking to bring his girlfriend, who should have been invited in the first place.  Good for him for declining.
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  • In Response to Re: No plus ones on the invite:
    [QUOTE]I can't believe she put that on her invite.  That's worse than "Adults Only".  I'm glad her cousin rescinded his RSVP, I wonder if she even realizes what she did or just doesn't give a flying crap about it.
    Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]

    When she told me that this happened she was just like, "I mean, it sucks that he isn't going to come, but I can't believe he expects to be able to bring someone who doesn't even know me or [her FI]."
  • While I agree that the wording, and putting it on the invite, is among the tackiest things I've ever heard of, not allowing plus-ones, BY ITSELF, isn't rude.

    Of course, that assumes your friend has met all the other social/etiquette requirements and invited the SOs of all guests, BY NAME, (i.e., not writing "and guest" because she can't be bothered to find out her cousin's girlfriend's name), that she's invited people in couples as social units, etc., and it sounds like she's done none of that.

    You'll have to keep us posted on how many other people decline because their SO wasn't invited, and if anyone else calls her out on this.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to Re: No plus ones on the invite:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: No plus ones on the invite : When she told me that this happened she was just like, "I mean, it sucks that he isn't going to come, but I can't believe he expects to be able to bring someone who doesn't even know me or [her FI]."
    Posted by sonya+adam[/QUOTE]

    Ugh. Whenever people say something like that, I always want to say, "Did it occur to you she might be family some day? This is her chance to meet you and get to know you. Why wouldn't you want to meet someone who might be your future cousin?"

    She's an idiot.

  • sonya+adamsonya+adam member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited May 2013
    In Response to Re: No plus ones on the invite:
    [QUOTE]While I agree that the wording, and putting it on the invite, is among the tackiest things I've ever heard of, not allowing plus-ones, BY ITSELF, isn't rude. Of course, that assumes your friend has met all the other social/etiquette requirements and invited the SOs of all guests, BY NAME, (i.e., not writing "and guest" because she can't be bothered to find out her cousin's girlfriend's name), that she's invited people in couples as social units, etc., and it sounds like she's done none of that. You'll have to keep us posted on how many other people decline because their SO wasn't invited, and if anyone else calls her out on this.
    Posted by lemclane[/QUOTE]

    Oh, I know that not allowing plus ones isn't rude. I'm not having plus ones, aside from SOs at my wedding, but I'm certainly not putting that right on the invitation. That's what a wedding website is for.. which she has. I have no idea why she didn't just take to that, and allow word of mouth to spread about the no plus ones rule. I'm sure she would have put the registry info on the invitation, if she was actually registered somewhere.

    I'll definitely keep y'all posted about how many other declines she has.
  • In Response to Re: No plus ones on the invite:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: No plus ones on the invite : Ugh. Whenever people say something like that, I always want to say, "Did it occur to you she might be family some day? This is her chance to meet you and get to know you. Why wouldn't you want to meet someone who might be your future cousin?" She's an idiot.
    Posted by wrigleyville[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, it really, really bothered me that she was doing that. She was even debating whether or not to invite our co-worker/friend's FIANCE, just because she didn't know him. I was like, "He's still her FI, so you HAVE to invite him. They are going to be married a month after you are!" I was completely disgusted that she even said that. I'm sure she'd be pissed if she wasn't allowed to take her FI to a wedding.
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