Wedding Etiquette Forum

can't have gifts but people still want to give them to us - What to do?

Everyone is asking about gifts

We aren't registered anywhere as we are moving basically right after the wedding.some stuff we are shipping but most we are putting in storage. So gifts wouldn't work
When people ask we are telling them that 

Many people are still then saying they want to give us something (don't feel right about going to a wedding and not bringing a gift)

What do we do? 

Re: can't have gifts but people still want to give them to us - What to do?

  • You can't even do a small registry? Update your towels, sheets, simple cooking utensils? Usually if you do a very small registry, people will get the hint. That's where you can say 'We have a small registry at BB&B, but we're saving up for our big move.'
    my blog - for the love of ein
    'Next time, just fart.' - BriSox81
    image
  • In Response to Re: can't have gifts but people still want to give them to us - What to do?:
    [QUOTE]You can't even do a small registry? Update your towels, sheets, simple cooking utensils? Usually if you do a very small registry, people will get the hint. That's where you can say 'We have a small registry at BB&B, but we're saving up for our big move.'
    Posted by kmbryant2413[/QUOTE]

    We are moving to a different continent. our place there is furnished with everything. 
    (ob not bedding and towels but that is it) so most will just sit in storage
  • harper0813harper0813 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited May 2013
    Are you moving internationally?

    ETA: You answered my question! Register for the basics that you can bring abroad with you - towels, sheets, maybe some smaller, useful electronics such as an external hard drive, a flashlight, power converters, and some DVDs, toothbrush caddy, board games, etc. Otherwise, when people ask you what you'd like as a gift, you can say, "We're saving up for our move to [city] in [date] - I can't believe it's happening so soon!"

    ETA again: TANZANIA! That is amazing! I hope you have a great time down there doing whatever it is you're going there for!

  • In Response to Re: can't have gifts but people still want to give them to us - What to do?:
    [QUOTE]Are you moving internationally?
    Posted by zoberg[/QUOTE]

    Yep to Tanzania
  • Make a small registry of things that you do need for those that want to get you a physical gift.  The rest will probably give you cash gifts (knowing that you are moving internationally, most people will probably do that anyway).  If you really can't think of anything that you want, don't register at all.  Be prepared that some people will buy you something anyway - if you really don't want these gifts, accept them graciously and then donate them to someone in need.
    image
    Daisypath Anniversary tickersFollow Me on Pinterest
  • Register at amazon.com for things that you will need in your new location. Someone mentioned power adapters -- that's a good one. Maybe a few guide books for the local area or other countries near there you hope to visit. Some toiletries that aren't available there so you have a little stock while you wait to find local brands you like. Travel first aid kit for your new home?
  • I don't know if my post will reappear later, but I feel like your guests are being purposely obtuse if you tell them you won't be taking anything with you and they continue to push.  Cash travels well, and that's what most people give for weddings anyway.  I'd just reiterate that you appreciate the thought but all of your belongings will be left in storage for the foreseeable future.

  • Can you register for airline gift cards somehow? Otherwise BB&B let's you return pretty much everything and hold the credit for it for 2 years... How long will you be abroad?
  • Can you register for airline gift cards somehow? Otherwise BB&B let's you return pretty much everything and hold the credit for it for 2 years... How long will you be abroad?
    we have no idea at least 2 years but it could be 5 or 10.
    We are going for FI work


  • some of the posts have gone but do like the idea of registring for travel things like adapters, books and the like.
    If people do like gift lists - I'll have a look at the options
  • I agree with all PPs and would also suggest choosing a store to make a small registry at that has some things you could use during the move in case you get gift cards. You might also want to consider how easily the store takes returns since not everyone that insists on bringing a boxed gift will buy off your registry. 

    This is a little passive aggressive, but it might work for you, if you get some boxed gifts before the wedding you can mention during conversation how you just love the toaster that you got from Aunt Susie and you are just so sad to see it sit in storage for the next 5 years. I don't think anyone wants to give a gift that will need to be returned or stored for an extended period of time so pointing that out to them in a very blunt way might make them see that showing up to a wedding with a card is not the worst thing in the world.
    [url=http://www.theknot.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.theknot.com/tickers/tt144690.aspx[/img][/url]
  • missax said:
    Is he in the oilfield business? My FI works for Halliburton and we were considering him taking a job in Dar es Salaam Tanzania recently.
    Nope the government -
     but sometimes deals with trade which involves oil
  • You could always say instead of gifts, please feel free make a donation to (favorite charity).  Then its meaningful and I think people usually feel good about donations.
  • jennyjain said:
    You could always say instead of gifts, please feel free make a donation to (favorite charity).  Then its meaningful and I think people usually feel good about donations.

    This isn't really proper etiquette either.  Whether you're asking for a check for you or for a charity you like you're still asking for money, which is inappropriate.  It also puts your guests in an awkward spot if they don't support whatever charity you name.
  • We just said due to customs (if we registered where the wedding is), language issues (if we registered where we live, most guests don't speak the language to order from the websites) and luggage space (if we registered where the wedding is) registering for gifts just wasn't possible.  People seem to be getting the point.  Plus, there is no obligation to register for gifts anyway.




    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards