Wedding Woes

Groom's Cake?

My wedding is next week and my groom mentioned he wants a grooms cake with all his favorite things on it.  I wasn't planning on any groom's cake because our wedding cake serves 118 and we only have 80 people coming to the wedding.  Should I go ahead and try to get one through a grocery store?

Re: Groom's Cake?

  • If it is in your budget then I think that you should have a groom's cake made for him. Since your cake is already enough to serve all your guests at the wedding, you could serve the groom's cake at the rehearsal dinner. Are you getting your wedding cake from a grocery store? If not, then I would suggest that you get his cake through a bakery as well.  
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I had intended to do a groom's cake as a surprise and then time got away from me. I regret not doing it, so if your fiance is saying he would like one, I definitely think you should try to have one made for him. I agree with PP to serve it at the rehearsal dinner. 


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  • edited June 2013
    Personally, I think the "groom's cake" as a concept is silly. It's not like the wedding cake is called the "bride's cake." I know if I were picking a cake for myself, as opposed to a wedding, it certainly wouldn't have been a 4 tiered white cake with flowers all over it. (Although I might redo the filling - the cake was tasty.)

    I'd recommend not giving in to the wedding industry and their hype. Skip the "groom's cake" for the wedding. And maybe look into a cool cake for his next birthday.

    Edit: I'm not looking down on people who have groom's cakes, especially the ones that have some thought put into them. I've seen some absolutely stunning ones. But if the groom's cake meant that much to your groom, he should have spoken up months ago - when the other cake was ordered. 
  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird Bawlmer member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    I think it's childish. That said, if he had no say in the other cake, I think it's a nice idea. It sounds like you're the decision-maker, which is wrong in my opinion.
  • We're having a vegan groom's cake (2 guests are vegan).  It's a southern tradition and my FI was born in Georgia.
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    jpmg said:
    Personally, I think the "groom's cake" as a concept is silly. It's not like the wedding cake is called the "bride's cake." I know if I were picking a cake for myself, as opposed to a wedding, it certainly wouldn't have been a 4 tiered white cake with flowers all over it. (Although I might redo the filling - the cake was tasty.)

    I'd recommend not giving in to the wedding industry and their hype. Skip the "groom's cake" for the wedding. And maybe look into a cool cake for his next birthday.

    Edit: I'm not looking down on people who have groom's cakes, especially the ones that have some thought put into them. I've seen some absolutely stunning ones. But if the groom's cake meant that much to your groom, he should have spoken up months ago - when the other cake was ordered. 

    I wonder how much "hype" the bride has already bought into. 

    If he's like my husband he doesn't ask for much.  When he does ask for something I know it's important so I would jump through as many hoops as possible to get it done.

    [Deleted User]shaylagirl
  • My FI picked out our wedding cake with me, which makes the groom's cake completely unnecessary.  However, if your FI didn't have a say in the original cake and wants a cake that is representative of him, I would do it, but I wouldn't break the bank.  Asking this late is really annoying (if he wanted it so bad, he should have spoken up sooner), but doing something small for him is a good idea.  Actually, maybe just get him to order it - he waited this long, he can figure it out and get what he wants if it is still in the budget.   

    shaylagirl
  • I ended up doing six cupcakes, with the Cincinnati Bengals logo on them, as FI keeps saying he wants to wear his Bengals jersey, etc. - so I figured this was a good way to work the Bengals into the wedding in a small way and surprise him - it was such a small cost in the long run, and just to see him smile will be great...
  • Blue_Bird said:
    I think it's childish. That said, if he had no say in the other cake, I think it's a nice idea. It sounds like you're the decision-maker, which is wrong in my opinion.
    Oh good Lord! Here in the South it's not childish at all; it's tradition, it's passion but mostly it's my groom's passions and interest made in cake form. I'm in Alabama and it might be surprising but the grooms cake is sometimes looked forward too more so than the wedding cake and more costly too. My fh is from Wisconsin and needless to say he had never heard of a grooms cake until I asked if he's bi was going to have one at his sisters wedding. My fh's grooms cake will cost more than the wedding cake because we're make a replica of Lambeau Field were the Green Bay Packers play football. I have never heard of, and would never, serve the grooms cake at any wedding event other than the reception.
  • edited June 2013
    6fsn said:
    I wonder how much "hype" the bride has already bought into. 

    If he's like my husband he doesn't ask for much.  When he does ask for something I know it's important so I would jump through as many hoops as possible to get it done.

    End quote...

    How involved he's been and how much he's asked for so far flavors it, and that part is something only stampadhesive and her groom know. And personal experience flavors replies. My groom asked for a few things that actually mattered to him (guest count, certain favors) and several things that didn't (whale, pirate ship, ice sculpture.) We discussed how much these things mattered, and compromised and planned as appropriate for us. He'd tell you that the pirates not making the cut broke his heart. But he'd be joking. And the whale was a huge hit with his friends. It all depends on your levels of compromise and involvement here, which is hard to judge from a small post. But if anyone waits until the week before an event that's been in the planning process for months to request a detail, I find it hard to believe it's really that important to them.

    Also, if she hadn't included the info that the time frame here is "next week." I'd agree with you that if he brings it up as important, then it's worth pursuing. But, I'd also still suggest asking him if he'd be interested in a rocking birthday cake instead.

    Or, alternatively, pretend I just pointed to kerbohl and said seconded.

    Edited to try to fix formatting, sorry.
  • We did a small one and served it as dessert at our rehearsal dinner.  FI wanted one, but our guest count was small and we had WAY more wedding cake than we needed.  It wasn't one of those fancy carved things, though.  It was more along the lines of a fancy kid's birthday cake.  He loved it and I didn't have to worry about dessert at the rehearsal dinner. 

    If your FH wants it and you can afford it, go for it and consider it a surprise gift for him.  So much of the wedding is what the bride wants anyway, why not let him have this one thing just for himself?
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  • Thanks everyone.  He went with me to pick out the cake and got to decide his favorite flavor for the bottom tier.  But he seemed really bumped when I told him we weren't going to do a groom's cake.  So I called the bakery today and they are able to do a small groom's cake with a screen print on it for not too much extra.  So today I made a picture with all of favorite things on it.  I hope he likes it!  It will be  a good surprise! 
  • miclanmiclan member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    6fsn said:
    jpmg said:
    Personally, I think the "groom's cake" as a concept is silly. It's not like the wedding cake is called the "bride's cake." I know if I were picking a cake for myself, as opposed to a wedding, it certainly wouldn't have been a 4 tiered white cake with flowers all over it. (Although I might redo the filling - the cake was tasty.)

    I'd recommend not giving in to the wedding industry and their hype. Skip the "groom's cake" for the wedding. And maybe look into a cool cake for his next birthday.

    Edit: I'm not looking down on people who have groom's cakes, especially the ones that have some thought put into them. I've seen some absolutely stunning ones. But if the groom's cake meant that much to your groom, he should have spoken up months ago - when the other cake was ordered. 

    I wonder how much "hype" the bride has already bought into. 

    If he's like my husband he doesn't ask for much.  When he does ask for something I know it's important so I would jump through as many hoops as possible to get it done.

    I completely agree with this. FI pretty much let's me make most decisions, so whenever he mentions something he would like I really try to do it. It's his wedding too! Does he want it at the wedding for sure? We are having ours at our rehearsal dinner, so that could fix your problem about having too much dessert.
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