One of my fears for the wedding has come true...

Price4life · June 2013

As of now, I am short a bridesmaid!!!!!!! She has been avoiding me for a bout week and I was getting really concerned and worried. She calls me today to tell me that she has bad news. She has a order (she's in the army!) to be in Brownswood, TX from July 1st through July 19th!!!!!!!!! I am so bummed that this is happening. Idk what to do. Some are saying just replace her with someone who can fit her dress...others are saying just leave it at 3 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen. Plz....July brides, I need some advice!

crysspears · June 2013

dont replace her.. its weird. you also dont need even sides.. Eric has 8 (he had 11, 3 dropped because they cant make it) and I have 7

krispi921 · June 2013

Don't worry about replacing her. You have enough on your plate at this point. You could still mention something about her in the program (honorary, etc.) if you want.

jenn5628 · June 2013

Don't replace her. Anyone you would choose at this point will feel like a total after thought - they weren't important enough for you to ask in the first place. And I would think your friend would feel bad knowing they were easily replaced. It's not about even sides, it's about having your nearest and dearest up beside you. I'm so sorry that one of your closest won't be able to make it.

shaygray88 · June 2013

I agree with the other ladies. No need to replace her at this point. So sorry this is happening to you:(

jenlynn1204 · June 2013

Sorry to hear that happened. I agree, I would not replace her.

wittykitty14 · June 2013

That's too bad! I'm sure you're both bummed that she won't be there. I would be too.

Don't replace her at this point. It's TOTALLY ok to have uneven sides! Anyone you ask would feel like they were just "filler", and your friend might get the message that she can be easily replaced. Just keep who you have! Good luck!

drg424 · June 2013

I'm sorry, too, and I agree with all the ladies - don't replace her. I have five BMs and FI has three GM; it's no big deal if they are not even!

emineminem · June 2013

just reiterating, but yeah, that's super lame! Sorry this happened so close to the wedding! FI only has one groomsman (best man) to my four bridesladies, so I wouldn't worry about it being uneven!

pam8787 · June 2013

I agree with the women above. No need to replace her. And maybe honor her somehow in the program. Sorry your dealing with this

photokitty · June 2013

GL!

Belle0720 · June 2013

We have an uneven wedding party. Originally it was 6 girls & 4 guys but one of my bms lives in Germany and can't make it so now I'm down to 5 bridesmaids. Don't replace her. As much as I understand how much of a bummer it is, try not to be to upset and just focus on the big picture...you're marrying your FI, yay!

avolker1 · June 2013

I have 7 bridesmaids to FI's 6. Ditto what everyone else said. I think it would be nice to mention her in your programs if you're having them.

Price4life · June 2013

Thank you all for the advice!!! I decided not to replace her, now my only question is who should walk with who at this point?? I'm not sure how it should go with 3 BM and 4 GM.

Brittywest05 · June 2013

We are also down a BM since FIs sister dropped out of the wedding. We are having my MOH walk up and down with a groomsmen on each arm.

photokitty · June 2013

Double one of them up with 2 groomsmen, like Britty said. Its common for the guys walk in seperate from the ladies, if you did that you would only have worry about partnering people up on the way out.

Chels&Jimmy · June 2013

Another bride with uneven sides here! I have 10 BM's and FI has 8 GM. One of the BM's (who is FI's 13-year old sister) is going to walk with our FG's and our dog, and one of the GM is going to walk 2 of my sisters (BM's). Heck, you don't even have to pair them off... they could all walk individually if you wanted them to. Either way it's no biggie. I'm sorry that your friend can't be there!

Wheels987 · June 2013

@photokitty

Did you really suggest that she find a family member that would fit into her dress? Photographer or not, that's kind of messed up. If I did something like that my sister may do it, but I'm positive they'd talk shit about me behind my back.

@Price4life

Bravo on making the right choice. It's a sucky situation, but you're handling it like a champ. Your friends & family will know how awesome you are by not replacing her and honoring your friend.

drg424 · June 2013

I just want to add here, I stand by my earlier advice and the other ladies' advice, but my FI is now losing a GM and we ARE replacing him. Sort of. It's a bit of a different circumstance though, because I have 5 BMs and he has 3 GM, which leaves him now at 2 to my 5. So my mom and grandma decided my step dad should stand with him.

This works because my grandfather is more like my dad and playing that role (walking me down the isle, father-daughter dance, etc.) so giving new-ish step dad a "role" in the wedding feels like a nice touch and everyone agrees.

In your situation though, I still think you're making the right choice!

photokitty · June 2013

Wheels987 · June 2013

@photokitty

Reading comprehension: I never said I would talk shit. I said other people would talk about me IF i did such a thing. Also, I said what you said was messed up. Not that YOU were messed up. If you think I'm messed up for wanting to treat my friends and family with respect, I'll take it.

Question, how do you figure out which cousin/sister/friend to ask... "Dear second rate friends: Bridesmaid X had to drop out of the wedding due to unforeseen circumstances, can you please let me know if you're willing to stand in (but only if you're a size xx). THANKS!"

Doesn't really matter anyways. OP made a gracious decision with her situation.

Wheels987 · June 2013

Ugh. double post.

photokitty · June 2013

1FairMaiden · June 2013

Ok, so I'm going to say an unpopular opinion, but I guess for different reasons that are even more unupopular

FI and I planned out whole wedding, beginning to end, in 6 months. In retrospect, if I'd had more time to consider everything, I would probably have asked 2 more of my friends to be BM's. I regret that I didn't, but I was rushing to make a decision, and didn't take the time to reflect, and that's totally my fault. But if one of them had to drop out (and i would hate it if one of them had to, but life happens!) I might ask one of the two girls who I wished that I had asked to step in.

So, Price, if I were in your shoes, I would know, automatically, right off the top of my head, exactly who I would want to be a BM, and it wouldn't be "just because they fit in the dress," it would be because I wished that I had asked them from the beginning, and now I had an excuse to add them in so late.

so if you have someone like that, a friend or relative who you wish you had asked to be in the BP, but hadn't, it might just be a good "excuse" (I don't like using that word, but you know what I mean...) to ask them. But that's me and my friends, and I know that they would be ok with it, and that no back-smack-talking would take place

Though I do agree, that if you really were just picking someone because they had the right aesthetics, you might get some side-eyes.

And FWIW, I've been the "stand in" BM, and it was just because I fit in the dress, and I LOVED it! I got all the fun of the day, without the months of hassle beforehand, and my dress was free. But I'm a glass half full kinda gal in general

One of my fears for the wedding has come true...

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