this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

Help, please! Invitation Etiquette

SmileAlreadySmileAlready
First Comment
edited July 2013 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi!  My fiance and I are planning a VERY small wedding for immediate family only.  Immediately after the wedding we will have a reception only involving those who attended the wedding.  A month later, however, we plan to have a HUGE party in honor of our marriage and invite all of our extended family and friends.  How should we go about sending invitations?  Should we send an announcement prior to the wedding that includes an invitation to the "after party"?  Also, would it be appropriate to have a bridal shower or no?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Help, please! Invitation Etiquette

  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'd send separate invitations to the wedding and to the party.  Just send them to whomever is invited to each event.  Announcements go out after the wedding, and your invitation to the party would also serve as your wedding announcement.  I think you can have a shower, but only the people invited to the actual wedding can be invited.  Being invited to the party doesn't count.
    Report Reply
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    SmileAlready said:
    Hi!  My fiance and I are planning a VERY small wedding for immediate family only.  Immediately after the wedding we will have a reception only involving those who attended the wedding.  A month later, however, we plan to have a HUGE party in honor of our marriage and invite all of our extended family and friends.  How should we go about sending invitations?  Should we send an announcement prior to the wedding that includes an invitation to the "after party"?  Also, would it be appropriate to have a bridal shower or no?
    The only people who can be invited to a bridal shower are those invited to the actual wedding ceremony.

    You'd word the invitations that Bride and Groom will be married on X Day and that the guests are invited to a post - wedding celebration. 
    Report Reply
  • SmileAlreadySmileAlready
    First Comment
    Thank you all so much for your replies.  The after party is not intended as an attempt at a re-do of the wedding or traditions associated with our big day at all, we just know a lot of people who were a bit upset that they could not attend the ceremony, so we want the party as a way to include them later on.  Guests will not be expected to do anything wedding-y or help with cooking or anything else- we're just sort of thinking of it more as a house-warming party, I suppose.  

    I really like the idea of including the party invitation in the wedding announcement post-ceremony.  I think that will definitely be the way to go!

    In my case, my parents allowed us to choose whether we would rather use the money they had reserved for my wedding to go toward our house or toward a big wedding.  Neither I nor my fiance have ever dreamed of a large wedding, but we have a lot of friends and family who would like to celebrate with us.  He is a member of a huge family and I have several connections out of state, so I don't think there would be any way to have a ceremony with friends and family in attendance that wasn't absolutely enormous... and thus arose the idea for a large party to follow.  The reception after our wedding will really just be us eating cake with our parents, grandparents, and siblings.  

    Report Reply
  • SmileAlreadySmileAlready
    First Comment
    Alrighty, I guess we'll probably just go with calling it a house-warming party and leaving it entirely separate.  Thanks!
    Report Reply
  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    If people are going to be upset over not attending the ceremony, putting on a show/party for them is not going to be the same thing anyway. They can get over it. A housewarming party is acceptable. But riddle me this. If a reception with all the guests you want is too expensive, how is it any less expensive to have a party for all of them after the fact?
    image
    Report Reply
  • SmileAlreadySmileAlready
    First Comment
    Well we won't have to rent a big venue, for starters, but also I will be able to make all the food myself (I love to cook), so we wouldn't have to worry about catering or anything =P
    Report Reply
  • LavenderHoneyBeeLavenderHoneyBee member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I would just send an invite out after the wedding inviting your guests to celebrate your nuptials
    Report Reply
  • MuppetFanMuppetFan member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    I'm with artbyallie.

    Etiquette-wise, you're fine with a celebration or a housewarming. Shower only for those invited to the wedding.

    But, it sounds like you're not having a big wedding event with a lot of cost. I personally would want to have my wedding at home before everyone I care about if I'm already going to have them near me so soon. If you're not doing a huge event I don't see why you can't cook up the food...do it all backyard bbq style. As a guest, I'd much prefer to see you get married.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards