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How soon is too soon to send invites?

heidirs731heidirs731 member
5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
Hello,
my wedding is a year away, and my fiance and I are in a debate as to when to send invites. My mother has cautioned us not to send the invites too far in advance because people may forget. My fiance wanted to send them 3 months in advance, but mom thoughts that was too soon. 

Many of our guests are from out of state and will need time to make travel arrangements, hotel reservations, and time to notify work to take any time off (if needed). So my fiance and I worried that month is too late to send the invitations. 

So maybe too months in advance?

We are also limited on the number of people who can attend the ceremony/reception, so my fiance would like to make two lists of guests, the second list of people to invite when we get enough people stating they can't attend from the first list. I'm trying to convince him to do away with this since it's just another factor that needs to be taken into account when considering when to send out invites.

What have other people experienced? When is the best time to send invites? 
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Re: How soon is too soon to send invites?

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited July 2013
    Invitations go out 6-8 weeks before the wedding. You can send STDs a year to 6-months out if you want to give people a heads up. Absolutely do NOT do a B-list for your guests. That is terribly rude. Would you like to be invited to a party only b/c the hosts' first choice guests couldn't come?




    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    heidirs731 said:
    Hello,
    my wedding is a year away, and my fiance and I are in a debate as to when to send invites. My mother has cautioned us not to send the invites too far in advance because people may forget. My fiance wanted to send them 3 months in advance, but mom thoughts that was too soon. 

    Many of our guests are from out of state and will need time to make travel arrangements, hotel reservations, and time to notify work to take any time off (if needed). So my fiance and I worried that month is too late to send the invitations. 

    So maybe too months in advance?

    We are also limited on the number of people who can attend the ceremony/reception, so my fiance would like to make two lists of guests, the second list of people to invite when we get enough people stating they can't attend from the first list. I'm trying to convince him to do away with this since it's just another factor that needs to be taken into account when considering when to send out invites.

    What have other people experienced? When is the best time to send invites? 

    Send your invites out at 8 weeks at the earliest. Send STDs if you want to communication information with your guests before then. But remember that STDs= invites.

    As to the bolded: B-listing is very rude. Dont treat your guests like second class friends. Invite the people you can afford/ fit into your venue and leave it at that.

    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • libby2483libby2483 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    Ditto PPs: 6-8 weeks, skip the B-list.
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  • heidirs731heidirs731 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    He wants to do invites as early as possible and then do reminders a month out, so I think we are going to do that.
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  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    heidirs731 said:
    He wants to do invites as early as possible and then do reminders a month out, so I think we are going to do that.

    What would these reminders be? An email? Personally, I think its a bad idea. Your guests are adults and completely capable of managing their own calendars.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • heidirs731heidirs731 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I was thinking of doing the reminders the same as STD, nicely done cards in the mail. I've been told over and over again that will people will forget if you send invites out more than two months ahead and that's what he wants to do. He still wants to do the B list, and I maybe later I can talk him out of it. But he has a lot of people he wants to invite and simply can't because of our limit, and don't see anything wrong with him inviting more people if room opens up.

    That's the plan for now. Maybe it will change later, but that's what we're going with.


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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited July 2013
    heidirs731 said:
    I was thinking of doing the reminders the same as STD, nicely done cards in the mail. I've been told over and over again that will people will forget if you send invites out more than two months ahead and that's what he wants to do. He still wants to do the B list, and I maybe later I can talk him out of it. But he has a lot of people he wants to invite and simply can't because of our limit, and don't see anything wrong with him inviting more people if room opens up.

    That's the plan for now. Maybe it will change later, but that's what we're going with.


    There are no "reminders" about invitations (that's going to cost you a crap ton in printing and postage anyway). You send them 6-8 weeks out. If people don't RSVP by your deadline, you call to get their response as a "reminder." That's it.

    Yes, the 8 weeks recommendation is based on the fact that people might forget more than two months out. But most people are adults enough to be able to give their response3-4 weeks out. They don't need an obnoxious reminder.

    And you two seriously don't see anything wrong with telling a friend "Hey, we didn't think you were good enough to be on our first round of invitations. But now that someone we prioritized higher and like better declined, you can come." How do you not see that as a dick move?

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  • libby2483libby2483 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    heidirs731 said:
    I was thinking of doing the reminders the same as STD, nicely done cards in the mail. I've been told over and over again that will people will forget if you send invites out more than two months ahead and that's what he wants to do. He still wants to do the B list, and I maybe later I can talk him out of it. But he has a lot of people he wants to invite and simply can't because of our limit, and don't see anything wrong with him inviting more people if room opens up.

    That's the plan for now. Maybe it will change later, but that's what we're going with.


    That's a really bad plan, and it's backwards.  If your FI wants to get the word out early, send STDs, and then send invitations at the normal time.  Don't send invitations early and then send "reminders".  If I received a wedding invitation, and then I received as reminder, I would be insulted, and I would think it was VERY ODD.  I'm an adult and I can remember the dates of important events, so to send me additional correspondence implying that I'm not capable of doing so is just condescending...not to mention a waste of time and money.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited July 2013
    heidirs731 said:
    He wants to do invites as early as possible and then do reminders a month out, so I think we are going to do that.
    Reminders?  Please don't. I would roll my eyes so hard at that.

    ETA:  Like PP said, the phone calls you will make to anyone who doesn't RSVP will be a "reminder." If you sent me a reminder before the RSVPs were even due, I'd be incredibly annoyed.




    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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