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  • I would invite Mary anyway, if you are truly that close. Call your parents' bluff. Tell them you'll miss them in the pictures.
  • Invite her anyway. You should have the people you want there. Who knows, maybe Mary won't feel comfortable going anyway because things will be so awkward with your parents, but you should definitely invite her and hope she comes if it means a lot to you to have her there.

    I agree with the post above. ^^ Call your parents bluff. Assuming you have a decent relationship with your parents and they aren't completely crazy, no person in their right mind would miss their child's wedding because they hate one of the guests. That's absurd.
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  • Who is paying for the wedding?  If your parents are paying for the reception, they have a huge say in how their money is spent.  But if you and FI are paying 100% for the wedding, then go ahead and invite Mary.
  • I agree with the PPs. Call your parents bluff. They should be able to act like adults for one day.


  • Who is paying for the wedding?  If your parents are paying for the reception, they have a huge say in how their money is spent.  But if you and FI are paying 100% for the wedding, then go ahead and invite Mary.
    This, exactly.
  • I'd invite Mary but not bring it up to your parents. Confronting them directly may cause them to feel like you're picking her side over theirs. If mom finds out and gets upset, you can just calmly point out that she was invited before the fight happened and you didn't want to be rude. Play it off like no big deal, and don't get in the middle.
  • It's not your mother's wedding; it's yours. You get to invite who you want. I don't mean to sound harsh, but if your parents boycott your wedding because of the guest list, they're losing sight of the entire purpose of the day. 
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  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited August 2013
    My parent's are not paying for 100% of the wedding.  I've asked them to help with some things i.e. ceremony chairs and the cake, but if things can't get resolved, and my parents want say over the guest list, then I'm going to ask for more money. I know that sounds bad, but oh well. 

    Woah. Side note. It is never accpetable to ask someone (even your parents) to fudn your wedding. Host a wedding that you can afford.
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  • My parent's are not paying for 100% of the wedding.  I've asked them to help with some things i.e. ceremony chairs and the cake, but if things can't get resolved, and my parents want say over the guest list, then I'm going to ask for more money. I know that sounds bad, but oh well. 
    Please don't do this. Asking for money is a huge faux pas in the first place. It's very nice that they're helping you with chairs and the cake - those can be very costly. Thank them for it and do not ask for more.

    I'm going to go against the grain here and say I would not invite Mary. This is a hill I would not die on. If you're having a super intimate wedding, I think it's completely reasonable and explainable why you'd leave her off the list. You have to live with your parents forever. Is it worth it? 
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  • My parent's are not paying for 100% of the wedding.  I've asked them to help with some things i.e. ceremony chairs and the cake, but if things can't get resolved, and my parents want say over the guest list, then I'm going to ask for more money. I know that sounds bad, but oh well. 
    It sounds bad because it is bad. It's incredibly rude to demand more money from your parents.  Have you thought about if they decide to withdraw the money they've agreed to contribute? You accepted money, it comes with strings. I'm changing my answer: don't invite Mary.


  • If you and your FI were paying then I'd say invite Mary and if your parents decide to not show up then it'd look bad on them not you.

    Since your parents are paying for the wedding though; they do have a HUGE say in who's invited since they're hosting.
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