this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

Seating chart woes

jolene118jolene118 member
Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My fiancé's 18-year-old brother (and co-best man) has insisted on bringing a date to our wedding. She is not a girlfriend or anything serious. I've never met her and neither has my fiancé.

Our bridal party consists of a few people in committed relationships. Because a lot of their significant others do not know many other people who will be at the wedding, we were going to seat our bridal party with their significant others (one is married, one is engaged, one has a child together, and one has been dating for over a year). But now that he to be wants to bring a date, I have no idea where to put her. I really don't want her seated at the head table because I do not know the girl (my fiancé and I are both close with all of BP's significant others). 

Is that terribly bad of my if I don't seat her with her date at the head table?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Seating chart woes

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Yes, it is very rude of you.  If he is bringing a date then they should be seated together.  Also, I know that it is not mandatory to give single guests a plus one option but when it comes to the bridal party that is where I think an exception to the rule should apply.  These people are taking time out of their lives and money out of their pockets to be a part of your day, the least you could do is offer up a plus one so that they all can enjoy the night with a guest.

    Report Reply
  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    edited August 2013
    bulletproofX3 said:
    My fiancé's 18-year-old brother (and co-best man) has insisted on bringing a date to our wedding. She is not a girlfriend or anything serious. I've never met her and neither has my fiancé.

    Our bridal party consists of a few people in committed relationships. Because a lot of their significant others do not know many other people who will be at the wedding, we were going to seat our bridal party with their significant others (one is married, one is engaged, one has a child together, and one has been dating for over a year). But now that he to be wants to bring a date, I have no idea where to put her. I really don't want her seated at the head table because I do not know the girl (my fiancé and I are both close with all of BP's significant others). 

    Is that terribly bad of my if I don't seat her with her date at the head table?


    Yes, that is terribly bad.

    Why do you need a head table? Why not just do a sweetheart table for you and your FI, and seat the wedding party and their dates at tables amongst the guests.

    Report Reply
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    IMO, yeah, it's bad. He shouldn't have insisted on bringing his friend; I think the bride and groom should always extend a +1 to truly single members of the bridal party. But separating them at dinner doesn't make this all right. If you've already said that sure, she can come, it would be bad form to separate them during dinner (and really this is minor in the big scheme of things).
    Report Reply
  • allispainallispain member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Yes, it would be rude of you to separate them. I get not wanting to have someone you don't know sitting at your table at dinner for your own wedding reception, but she's your FI's brother's date. End of story.

    I know that PP has already offered the option of having a sweetheart table. Another suggestion would be to do what we did at ours, which was sit at a regular-sized table with some of our BP members and their spouses/FIs/dates (the others were interspersed at tables where they had friends so that they would have fun and not be crammed together with people they didn't know). I let DH pick which of my friends he was comfortable eating with and I got to pick which of his. It worked out really well for us that way - I could avoid sitting with the groomsman whose wife I barely knew and he could avoid sitting with my friend he'd only met once before the wedding weekend who was bringing a friend from college as her date that DH had never met). Win win.
    image
    Report Reply
  • NYCBruinNYCBruin member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Yes.  Dates need to be seated together.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    Report Reply
  • mlg78mlg78 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Don't have a head table. Problem solved. Seat all wedding party members at a regular table with their dates.
    Report Reply
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Are you serious?
    Report Reply
  • MuppetOverlordMuppetOverlord member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    bulletproofX3 said:
    My fiancé's 18-year-old brother (and co-best man) has insisted on bringing a date to our wedding. She is not a girlfriend or anything serious. I've never met her and neither has my fiancé.

    Our bridal party consists of a few people in committed relationships. Because a lot of their significant others do not know many other people who will be at the wedding, we were going to seat our bridal party with their significant others (one is married, one is engaged, one has a child together, and one has been dating for over a year). But now that he to be wants to bring a date, I have no idea where to put her. I really don't want her seated at the head table because I do not know the girl (my fiancé and I are both close with all of BP's significant others). 

    Is that terribly bad of my if I don't seat her with her date at the head table?
    Just think about what you're saying here.

    You want to make your future brother in-law and his girlfriend uncomfortable by sitting apart, because you don't know her yet? That sounds very selfish. I'd judge you for life if you did that to me. 

    I just had to sit apart from my fiance at a wedding..... I spent the entire time somewhat miserable ...mostly because it was a miserable wedding, but at least I could've commiserated with him. My friend found out where we were sitting and she said, "Who does that!??"

    Just think.
    imageimageimage

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
    Report Reply
  • MuppetOverlordMuppetOverlord member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    bulletproofX3 said:
    My fiancé's 18-year-old brother (and co-best man) has insisted on bringing a date to our wedding. She is not a girlfriend or anything serious. I've never met her and neither has my fiancé.

    Our bridal party consists of a few people in committed relationships. Because a lot of their significant others do not know many other people who will be at the wedding, we were going to seat our bridal party with their significant others (one is married, one is engaged, one has a child together, and one has been dating for over a year). But now that he to be wants to bring a date, I have no idea where to put her. I really don't want her seated at the head table because I do not know the girl (my fiancé and I are both close with all of BP's significant others). 

    Is that terribly bad of my if I don't seat her with her date at the head table?
    Just think about what you're saying here.

    You want to make your future brother in-law and his girlfriend uncomfortable by sitting apart, because you don't know her yet? That sounds very selfish. I'd judge you for life if you did that to me. 

    I just had to sit apart from my fiance at a wedding..... I spent the entire time somewhat miserable ...mostly because it was a miserable wedding, but at least I could've commiserated with him. My friend found out where we were sitting and she said, "Who does that!??"

    Just think.
    imageimageimage

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
    Report Reply
  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    Have a sweetheart table and put your WP and their dates at other tables.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    Report Reply
  • ceceibsonceceibson member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary
    My late husband was best man in a friend's wedding.  The other attendants were all couples.  I was the only spouse/SO that wasn't part of the bridal party.

    The bridal party, including my DH of course, were all seated at the head table.  I was seated with 9 people I didn't know, clear across the room.

    While I have to believe this couple didn't intend to snub or offend me, that's precisely how I felt. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • melbelleupmelbelleup member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    my WP will be sitting at the head table, their guests will be sitting else where, either with each other or with people they know.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
    Report Reply
  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    melbelleup said:
    my WP will be sitting at the head table, their guests will be sitting else where, either with each other or with people they know.
    Bully for you.


    OP, if you don't want her sitting at your head table.. but you now you should have them sit together, why don't you offer him to sit with other people he knows, with his date? I mean, you don't need one big head table for the whole wedding party. Plus, there's going to be a kid squished in there somewhere. Maybe they'd prefer to sit at another table that also has a kid? I don't know, I just don't think it has to be head table or sweetheart table. There are other options to consider.
    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards