Honeyfund Thank You Cards Etiquette

Re: Honeyfund Thank You Cards Etiquette

• cheapbrideincentpa

  

  August 2013

  We were planning on including photos of us doing they things they gave as well. I think one card should be enough.
  

  Report0 Reply
• itzMS member

  

  August 2013

  HoneyKitten777 said:

  *Disclaimer: I know a lot of people think Honeyfunds are rude and money-grubbing. But feel free to repeat that for newbs/lurkers (I'm not being sarcastic).
  
  Because of my lurking on TK, I know that a lot of people are offended by Honeyfunds, in part because they can be deceptive. So I decided that we would take pictures of us doing the things people paid for and then put them in the thank you card and thank them for that specific thing they paid for. I'm getting married in the beginning of September but I've started receiving gifts already.
  
  So I feel like I should send a thank you card now for the money, and then another card after the honeymoon including pics of us at the dinner they paid for, for example? What should I do re: thank you cards?
  
  ETA: grammar
  

  No to the second card.

  Send the Thank you cards right away after the wedding or when you receive a gift before the wedding.
  

  Report0 Reply
• Jessa617 member

  

  August 2013

  HoneyKitten777 said:

  *Disclaimer: I know a lot of people think Honeyfunds are rude and money-grubbing. But feel free to repeat that for newbs/lurkers (I'm not being sarcastic).
  
  Because of my lurking on TK, I know that a lot of people are offended by Honeyfunds, in part because they can be deceptive. So I decided that we would take pictures of us doing the things people paid for and then put them in the thank you card and thank them for that specific thing they paid for. I'm getting married in the beginning of September but I've started receiving gifts already.
  
  So I feel like I should send a thank you card now for the money, and then another card after the honeymoon including pics of us at the dinner they paid for, for example? What should I do re: thank you cards?
  
  ETA: grammar
  

  You wouldn't be doing the things that people paid for. People pay into an "activity", the honeymoon fund company takes a cut of it, then they send you a check after they collect their fees. You are not getting your guests' entire gift and that's why it's deceptive. 

  
  

  Obviously you've made up your mind and will be doing it anyways (please remember that more than likely you'll be getting the check after your honeymoon is over). 

  
  

  Just send a plain thank you card thanking them for their gift. 

  

  Report0 Reply
• KeptInStitches member

  

  August 2013

  Thank them for the money. It's what you're actually getting.

  

  Report1 Reply
• Simply Fated member

  

  August 2013

  Just send one card after the wedding thanking them for their gift.
  
   If you want to include pictures of you guys doing the activities, that should be separate, especially if you aren't going on your honeymoon right away.
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• HoneyKitten777

  August 2013

  Jessa617 said:

  HoneyKitten777 said:

  *Disclaimer: I know a lot of people think Honeyfunds are rude and money-grubbing. But feel free to repeat that for newbs/lurkers (I'm not being sarcastic).
  
  Because of my lurking on TK, I know that a lot of people are offended by Honeyfunds, in part because they can be deceptive. So I decided that we would take pictures of us doing the things people paid for and then put them in the thank you card and thank them for that specific thing they paid for. I'm getting married in the beginning of September but I've started receiving gifts already.
  
  So I feel like I should send a thank you card now for the money, and then another card after the honeymoon including pics of us at the dinner they paid for, for example? What should I do re: thank you cards?
  
  ETA: grammar
  

  You wouldn't be doing the things that people paid for. People pay into an "activity", the honeymoon fund company takes a cut of it, then they send you a check after they collect their fees. You are not getting your guests' entire gift and that's why it's deceptive. 

  
  

  Obviously you've made up your mind and will be doing it anyways (please remember that more than likely you'll be getting the check after your honeymoon is over). 

  
  

  Just send a plain thank you card thanking them for their gift. 

  They paid via paypal so we already have the money, that's why I feel awkward. Or maybe because it feels weird to get honeymoon cash now. I know how important it is that we put the money aside and actually use it for the honeymoon. And I'm not worried about getting money after the honeymoon or none at all - we're paying for whatever we need to.
  

  Report0 Reply
• Jessa617 member

  

  August 2013

  I'd still just send one card thanking them. 

  

  Report0 Reply
• NYCBruin member

  

  August 2013

  Jessa617 said:

  You wouldn't be doing the things that people paid for. People pay into an "activity", the honeymoon fund company takes a cut of it, then they send you a check after they collect their fees. You are not getting your guests' entire gift and that's why it's deceptive. 

  
  

  Obviously you've made up your mind and will be doing it anyways (please remember that more than likely you'll be getting the check after your honeymoon is over). 

  
  

  Just send a plain thank you card thanking them for their gift. 

  All this.  They are also just giving you money and you don't have to use it on the actual activity.  For years (like over 20), my family has given portions of honeymoons as wedding gifts.  As in they told the couple that they would like to pay for their flights, hotel, and/or some combination of the two and then would book these things directly for the couple.  

  
  

  When I first heard of honeyfunds, I thought "what a great idea, people always LOVE this gift."  I assumed that the honeyfund was like a travel agency that booked all these great excursions and things for the couple.  And that seemed like a good idea.  Then I realized what they actually were and now I hate them.

  Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!

  Report4 Reply
• GlassButton member

  

  August 2013

  Just one card will do.

  Report0 Reply
• STARMOON44 member

  

  August 2013

  Send one card now.

  Report1 Reply
• thisismynickname2 member

  

  August 2013

  I'm going to a wedding this weekend for a couple that used Honeyfund, the actual website if I remember correctly. That one site gives you the option to hand over the cash directly and not use the website (meaning no fees!), but you get to print out the certificate of what you bought them so they know what you want them to put the cash towards.

  I bought the couple a "night on the town" so if they were to send me a picture of them having a night out, I'd actually appreciate that.  I'd rather contribute to them having a great time than pay towards their phone bill.  In the end, a cash gift is a cash gift and the allocation of funds doesn't matter, but since I intended to fund a night on the town, it would be at least nice to know they did that.  

  In the past when I have given cash gifts, seriously the money's surely just going towards bills. Other than cash I'm a fan of giving experiences, like tickets to the symphony or something else they'd enjoy (if they already have a household and don't need "stuff").  

  
  

  So, OP, instead of doing two thank-you cards or enclosing photos, maybe just send them a follow-up e-mail later with the photo attached-- "Thanks so much for the dolphin excursion! So fun, check us out!"  

  ________________________________

  
  

  
  

  Report4 Reply
• jessyk1065 member

  

  August 2013

  I agree with the above poster. We also received some honeymoon gifts as shower gifts, and in my thank you's for that I just said "we are so excited to take the jeep excursion" or "we can't wait to cruise as husband and wife"

  

  Report0 Reply
• Belle0720 member

  

  August 2013

  We didn't do a honeymoon registry, but one of my BMs gave us $$ and specified in her card to use it for something fun on the honeymoon. We didn't open cards until after the honeymoon so technically the $$ just went into our bank account and will go towards new furniture. But since she had specified it for the honeymoon I picked an activity we had done that was in that price range and in her thank you card I wrote that with her generous gift we were able to tour the national park in Manuel Antonio on our honeymoon where we saw monkeys, sloths, a snake, and other awesome animals.

  Write one card now and if you really want to share a picture with them what about posting a picture on fb of the activity you do on your honeymoon and tag her in it to say thanks again? (that is if you are on fb and post pictures regularly). I don't think it's necessary but if you really care about showing them that you actually used the money toward the activity they picked out, then seems like a good alternative to sending 2 cards.

  

  Report0 Reply
• Xstatic3333 member

  

  August 2013

  Definitely not a fan of Honeyfunds (any new brides reading this, avoid!  I mentioned the idea to my mom, who is pretty lax about etiquette, and she was horrified) but since in your case what's done is done, I would send immediate thank you cards, take the picture, and then share it with the giver at  a later date.  For example, to your tech-savy friends you could email a picture, and to older relatives you could slip it in with your holiday cards, or in a separate "hello" card.  The people who chose to give to your Honeyfund would probably appreciate it. 
  
  Again, not condoning, just trying to help you make the best of the situation. 
  

  Report0 Reply
• bellaluna290 member

  

  August 2013

  No to the second card.
  
  Gifts that arrive before the wedding should have thank you notes sent before the wedding.
  Not even going to touch the Honeyfund idea
  

  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• KatWAG member

  

  August 2013

  Send them one card thanking them for the money and apologizing for using something as tacky as a HM fund.
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• AroundTheBlock member

  

  August 2013

  Send them a thank-you note right away. The gold standard for thank-you notes, wedding or not, is to send them before you go to bed on the day that you received the gift. You don't need any sort of card for that: the most proper formal notes are on plain white (or cream) fold-over cards engraved with your name and address; but any ordinary note-paper or note-card is perfectly acceptable.
  
  Later after you have enjoyed the experience provided by each donor, send them a short chatty letter describing your memories of the event, and enclose the snapshots. You can send social notes any time you want to: they don't need to specifically be "thank-you notes". Everyone likes receiving mail that isn't bills, but for that matter everyone likes receiving email that isn't spam and most people take digital pictures nowadays, so another option would be to send them a short chatty social email and include the snapshots as attachments.
  

  Report0 Reply
• Jessa617 member

  

  August 2013

  thisismynickname said:

  I'm going to a wedding this weekend for a couple that used Honeyfund, the actual website if I remember correctly. That one site gives you the option to hand over the cash directly and not use the website (meaning no fees!), but you get to print out the certificate of what you bought them so they know what you want them to put the cash towards.

  I bought the couple a "night on the town" so if they were to send me a picture of them having a night out, I'd actually appreciate that.  I'd rather contribute to them having a great time than pay towards their phone bill.  In the end, a cash gift is a cash gift and the allocation of funds doesn't matter, but since I intended to fund a night on the town, it would be at least nice to know they did that.  

  In the past when I have given cash gifts, seriously the money's surely just going towards bills. Other than cash I'm a fan of giving experiences, like tickets to the symphony or something else they'd enjoy (if they already have a household and don't need "stuff").  

  
  

  So, OP, instead of doing two thank-you cards or enclosing photos, maybe just send them a follow-up e-mail later with the photo attached-- "Thanks so much for the dolphin excursion! So fun, check us out!"  

  If you have the option to "hand over the cash directly", what is the difference between that and putting money in a card at the wedding? 

  

  Report0 Reply
• Pepper6 member

  

  August 2013

  We had a small one (like I mentioned in an earlier post, some of our family/friends specifically requested we make one, so we did one just for the few that asked).  We did get a couple of cards prior to the wedding with the money & certificate of what they wanted us to use it on (we only did that option because I thought it was dumb they take a cut if they facilitate the money transfer).  So we did a thank you note that mentioned how much we were looking forward to that particular activity on our HM and to look for pictures on our FB when we returned (everyone that used this option does have a FB).

  Report0 Reply
• ashleyep member

  

  August 2013

  Jessa617 said:

  thisismynickname said:

  I'm going to a wedding this weekend for a couple that used Honeyfund, the actual website if I remember correctly. That one site gives you the option to hand over the cash directly and not use the website (meaning no fees!), but you get to print out the certificate of what you bought them so they know what you want them to put the cash towards.

  I bought the couple a "night on the town" so if they were to send me a picture of them having a night out, I'd actually appreciate that.  I'd rather contribute to them having a great time than pay towards their phone bill.  In the end, a cash gift is a cash gift and the allocation of funds doesn't matter, but since I intended to fund a night on the town, it would be at least nice to know they did that.  

  In the past when I have given cash gifts, seriously the money's surely just going towards bills. Other than cash I'm a fan of giving experiences, like tickets to the symphony or something else they'd enjoy (if they already have a household and don't need "stuff").  

  
  

  So, OP, instead of doing two thank-you cards or enclosing photos, maybe just send them a follow-up e-mail later with the photo attached-- "Thanks so much for the dolphin excursion! So fun, check us out!"  

  If you have the option to "hand over the cash directly", what is the difference between that and putting money in a card at the wedding? 

  That's what I was wondering. Were you expecting them to put that cash in an envelope and bring it on their honeymoon? What's the difference if they pay for their excursions and your cash goes to pay the bill? I suppose that *maybe* they're more likely to actually go on that excursion if you give them the money for it specifically, but I think the cash will just get lumped in with everything else that needs to go to the bank.

  

  Report0 Reply