Ok, I just need to spew this out somewhere and this is one of the boards I visit most. It's a bit long.
Ok, where to start...Perhaps the awkward shower? My FMIL and FI's aunt wanted to host a shower for me in his hometown. I've posted on here a little bit about it, but basically the wanted to invite a bunch of people that weren't invited to the wedding, I said I wasn't comfortable, attempted to decline, and then got straight up ambushed by FMIL and several aunts that said "We will be hosting this shower". Seriously thought of not showing up, but I did because honestly it wasn't worth the drama to say no again or not show up. To top it off they decided it would be open house style (I didn't know this until I arrived), where people walk in, come up to the table, drop off their gift, I open said gift and say thank you, and then they wander off to eat/chat with friends. I honestly sat at the table with my 2 FSIL for the majority of the shower with no clue who 80% of the people in the room where. At least FSILs (both marrying into this craziness) thought it was a terrible shower and we amused ourselves by just laughing at the horrible-ness.
After this crazy shower is done (and I have a drink), there are a few people that couldn't be there and sent gifts to FMIL's house after the fact. I was going to be down there (about 2 hours from us) to go to the county fair with FI and FBIL so I said I would get them then. Turns out FMIL opens all the cards (addressed to me and FI, not her), counts the money/gift cards in them, writes the amount on each card, puts them back, and makes a list for herself. I can't even...WTF...I was livid. Like a cat going through a baptism livid. I confronted her and said "FMIL, I'm really not comfortable with this. This was very rude and inappropriate." "But I just wanted to see how much people gave you." "That is none of your business. Please don't ever do that again." She stomps out of the room. FI and I go to the fair and then come back to their house to grab the two boxed gifts that she didn't open. She then throws a fit that we are going to wait to open them at home and not in front of her. Umm, why they hell would I do that crazy pants since you are so judgy and nosy on what people give to us? We say "No, we are tired. We will open them at home on our own tomorrow." I go outside to walk the dog quickly before the car ride back. FMIL tells FI that I'm just a "Southern Snob". Again, WTF? FI says "Well you are a nosy Minnesotan, so there you go" and leaves the house. I've never loved him more :-). I'm a Southern snob because I don't want a dollar dance, an auction, tickets for the bar, to raffle off my garter, and because I think people that aren't invited to the wedding shouldn't be invited to a shower as well as not opening other people's mail/gifts? Fine, I'm a southern snob.
Ohh and they hate our invites. They say "Mr and Mrs Bride's parents invite you to the marriage of their daughter Kmcclelland7 to blah blah blah" with no mention of the groom's parents names. My parents are paying for 80% of the wedding with FI and I covering the rest. We didn't not include them to be mean, we did them how we liked and what we thought was appropriate. Never even thought that someone would have an issue with them. They tell FI that the invites make it seem like he's an orphan. I told him I would adopt him. They want to send out cards saying something with their names on it. Just no. They then call FBIL and his FI (getting married after us in March) and tell them "If you make your invites like they did don't bother sending us one". FBIL and FI are paying for their own wedding completely and don't plan on putting any parents on the invites which pisses off FMIL and FFIL. I can't make this shit up. These people must have invested in stock in crazy pants. I can't do it anymore. I can't force a smile around them anymore or make polite conversation. They are not only upsetting me, but not they are making FSIL's planning miserable too. I've pretty much just resigned myself to stay a good distance away before the wedding and take up Thumper's motto of "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." But sweet baby Jesus they are testing my patience daily.
I shouldn't let it bother me, but I really don't think they will get better after the wedding. Opening gifts, name calling, and guilt tripping their sons into doing what they want transcends wedding planning.
All I can do now is scream "Serenity Now!". Whew, thanks for letting me rant ladies.