Pre-wedding Parties

Fiance at shower?

Are you ladies having your fiancés come to the shower, or not?  Our shower is next weekend, and my mom keeps saying he needs to be there because the gifts are for both of us (and he should be there the whole time).  His family is telling him no, its just for girls.  They keep going back and forth on this, and its stressing me out!  Just curious what everyone else thinks out there, thanks!

Re: Fiance at shower?

  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird Bawlmer member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    It's really up to the shower hosts.
    doeydo
  • I had two showers.  DH didn't go to the shower for the ladies and I rarely see the groom show up at the shower except for the very end to make a courtesy appearance.

    He was at our couples shower. 
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    My husband only came to the shower at the end to say hi to everyone and help load the gifts into the car.  I've never seen a guy stay the entire time at an all women shower.
  • I personally think it would be polite of him to come towards the end to help you thank the guests. It's not a requirement, though.
  • I have seen it where the groom comes towards the end, eats some food, says hi and thank you and helps load up. I'm also debating this very same thing!
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • My fiance showed up on Sunday at the very end to thank the bridal party for hosting.  I am hoping he will be able to get out of work to show up at my work shower.
  • My H was not at my shower.  I know that it is common in some circles, but in my circle, it would be very odd if the groom was at a shower.
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    When both the bride and groom are there I believe it is called a couple's shower instead of a bridal shower.  Does he want to come?  If so, that's fine.  If not, then don't worry about it.
    image
  • doeydo said:
    When both the bride and groom are there I believe it is called a couple's shower instead of a bridal shower.  Does he want to come?  If so, that's fine.  If not, then don't worry about it.

    Nope. A couples shower is when both men and women are invited.

    It's his wedding, too, so he can attend his own Wedding Shower.

  • At all of the showers I've been to the groom typically shows up at the very end as the last gifts are being opened and brings flowers and everyone oohs and aahs.
  • My fiance is coming.  I gave him the option to come at the beginning or end. He doesn't have to stay the whole time.  But I do need help loading gifts and saying thanks to everyone at the end.  
  • I think it depends if other men are going to be at the shower. If not I do not think he needs to come and frankly think he would be bored with all the girl talk.
  • In my area of the country, we have WEDDING SHOWERS and BRIDAL SHOWERS.

    At a wedding shower, the focus is on the wedding and opening presents for the couple - most of which comes off the registry but could include things that the bride and groom can do together, like a gift card for dinner at a nice restaurant, a gift card for two tickets to the movies or a sporting event.  And the groom can show up near the end to say hi, have a piece of cake, and help load up the gifts into the car.

    At a bridal shower, the focus is on getting the bride ready to be married, and the discussion is full of strategies of how to manage the first year of marriage and other things to expect and so on.  The gifts are just for the bride, like perfume, a sweater, a subscription to "Real Simple" magazine, etc.  The groom is never invited to this, not even to pack gifts into the car.

  • Kristin lives in an area of the country we like to refer to as "Narnia." 
    MobKazNYCMercedescasey8784RosePetal2014
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    banana468 said:
    Kristin lives in an area of the country we like to refer to as "Narnia." 

    Her references........

    image

    NYCMercedesbanana468
  • In my area of the country, we have WEDDING SHOWERS and BRIDAL SHOWERS.

    At a wedding shower, the focus is on the wedding and opening presents for the couple - most of which comes off the registry but could include things that the bride and groom can do together, like a gift card for dinner at a nice restaurant, a gift card for two tickets to the movies or a sporting event.  And the groom can show up near the end to say hi, have a piece of cake, and help load up the gifts into the car.

    At a bridal shower, the focus is on getting the bride ready to be married, and the discussion is full of strategies of how to manage the first year of marriage and other things to expect and so on.  The gifts are just for the bride, like perfume, a sweater, a subscription to "Real Simple" magazine, etc.  The groom is never invited to this, not even to pack gifts into the car.


    What about the first year of marriage does one need strategies for?!?!?!
  • My fiancé was there but was not in the room where the shower was happening. All of the husbands of the women came to the shower but they played pool and had some drinks in another room. The women were in a separate room having the shower :)
  • ei34ei34 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited October 2013
    At the showers I've attended, the fiancé comes in the last fifteen minutes or so, to greet guests and to help load gifts into the car.  This is what my hubby did as well.  (He also enjoyed some of the cake lol.)
  • We are having a couples shower, so both of our friends and family are going to be there. It's more of a party that people just so happen to bring gifts to than anything. The gifts are not just for the bride, the gifts are for both. My fiance will register at Lowe's so his friends know what tools or whatever he is requesting. We, together, will register at BBB and Target.

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