RSVPissed!

LaurenS47516 · September 2013

This has been an interesting day for RSVPs.

First, one of FI friends texted him today and asked if they could bring their infant (5 or 6mos idk) because she is breastfeeding. We are having NO kids at our wedding. Specifically were not on the invitations because we do not want kids there. The venue is a fine restaurant with a ballroom on the second floor, not very kid friendly. They also have a horrible toddler that is uncontrollable and threw rocks at my dog the ONLY time they were invited to our home. They do nothing to control their children and just smiled at how cute it was that he was trying to play "fetch." I know it is difficult to be away from a child while BFing, but she is the type to let the thing cry during the ceremony or BF in the middle of the reception. I don't want to allow her infant, which will almost certainly be followed up with fishing for a toddler invite. We do not like the mother and cannot stand the toddler. FI sent him a text back asking if there was any way around it, bc we are not having any children there. They have yet to respond. Is it bad that I hope she stays home and he comes alone?

Then, we get a phone call from FMIL who is absolutely fuming about another RSVP. F-BIL is an OOT and was one of the first cards we got back more than a month ago. FMIL and the wife had been talking about the wedding and planning their trip out for it the entire time. They just called her to say that wife won't be coming because she planned a bridal shower for one of her relatives at her house (2 states away) the day after our wedding! Wonderful! And better yet, Hubby is still coming and bringing their 6yr old daughter in wife's place. YOU CAN'T JUST SUB SOMEONE IN!! We are having a formal reception with passed hors d'oeuvres, plated dinner blah blah blah. Totally not going to work. They have another kid that's like idk maybe 1 now. That kid is staying at home with mom and au pair. They never even asked anyone if it was ok. They are just sending this kid to our wedding as a replacement guest. FMIL is taking a day to calm and then trying to head this off by calling them and asking if they need help finding a babysitter out this way. I hope that sends the message.

This is not OK

There's only one more couple with kids that are invited. Worst. Kids. Ever. Break everything they touch, scream, run, jump, hit.

I'm going to need a bouncer...

And perhaps a tiny little cage for the tag-a-longs...

6fsn · September 2013

1. Sometimes people ask just to be sure. They aren't fishing for anything or trying to put you out, they just want to know so they can plan accordingly.

2. That's crappy all around.

fmbyo · September 2013

I'm giggling at your subject line.

RSVPISSED!!!! Heeeee

mrsconn23 · September 2013

There's always one or two RSVP's in every wedding that are ridiculous and the bride or groom needs to have a chat with the guest. Any time you're inviting a lot of people to an event, the chances that someone knows nothing about etiquette or doesn't care and wants to be all 'I do what I want' are pretty high. It sucks. But don't let it work you up.

hmonkey · September 2013

LaurenS47516 said:

This has been an interesting day for RSVPs.
First, one of FI friends texted him today and asked if they could bring their infant (5 or 6mos idk) because she is breastfeeding.

They have another kid that's like idk maybe 1 now.

wow, these sound like super important guests. it's a good thing you've kept up on their lives.

stay close! bffs 4 eva!

January&Dave · September 2013

I'm having the same problem. Our wedding is taking place at an observatory on a hillside- filled with antique instruments and telescopes. Definitely somewhere you don't bring unruly children to. We specifically left children's names off the invites so our guests would know the children were not invited. However, we have had two family members call and ask to bring their children- so rude in my opinion. One even stated she would not come if she couldn't bring her 2 y/o. We've also had two family members RSVP for more people than were invited- even more rude! One of which is my cousin who has twin 2 &1/2 year olds and an 8 month old. We invited her and spouse and she RSVP'd for 5. WTF! I really hate that these etiquette idiots are forcing me to make extra phone calls to try and explain that we don't want children at our big day. Just last week I was at my friend's wedding , and I couldn't even hear her vows because the multiple 2-3 years olds were all fussing and making noise. Not what I want at my wedding!

doeydo · September 2013

She could pump if she wants and leave the baby with a sitter or she could choose not to come and stay home with the baby. Her decision.

In regards to the person RSVPing with their kid whose name was not ont eh invitation, you can call them and let them know that you're sorry but the invitation was meant for Mr. and Mrs. Robertson, not little Suzie but kids are not attending your wedding.

And you invited those kids who break everything and run around screaming? Did you invite them or did they RSVP?

hmonkey · September 2013

doeydo said:
And you invited those kids who break everything and run around screaming? Did you invite them or did they RSVP?

based on her language, i think it's a fair bet she did not invite the kids.

Wzz · September 2013

they have a 6 month old and a 1 year old? how does that even work? is the 1 year odl adopted? and what does BFing the infant have to do with the toddler? since you hate them, why were they invited at all? oh that's right, these are your FI's guests. i wonder how he wants to handle his friends.

VarunaTT · September 2013

You need to simmer down. Step away from the wedding stuff and decompress for a bit. You sound really strung out in your post. When you have to make excuses to get people on your side for validation, it just makes you sound bad.

#1: They asked if they could bring baby. "I'm so sorry, we can't accommodate your request". That's it. It doesn't sound like they tried to start an argument. Stop trying to read into it or call their kid a monster.

#2: "Sorry, we're not having children at the wedding. Your wife will be missed".

Unless you have an actual bouncer at the door, you can't do much about either of these things, so make your position known, politely, and stop stressing out about it.

dharmabunny · September 2013

LaurenS47516 said:
This has been an interesting day for RSVPs.
First, one of FI friends texted him today and asked if they could bring their infant (5 or 6mos idk) because she is breastfeeding. We are having NO kids at our wedding. Specifically were not on the invitations because we do not want kids there. The venue is a fine restaurant with a ballroom on the second floor, not very kid friendly. They also have a horrible toddler that is uncontrollable and threw rocks at my dog the ONLY time they were invited to our home. They do nothing to control their children and just smiled at how cute it was that he was trying to play "fetch." I know it is difficult to be away from a child while BFing, but she is the type to let the thing cry during the ceremony or BF in the middle of the reception. I don't want to allow her infant, which will almost certainly be followed up with fishing for a toddler invite. We do not like the mother and cannot stand the toddler. FI sent him a text back asking if there was any way around it, bc we are not having any children there. They have yet to respond. Is it bad that I hope she stays home and he comes alone?

Then, we get a phone call from FMIL who is absolutely fuming about another RSVP. F-BIL is an OOT and was one of the first cards we got back more than a month ago. FMIL and the wife had been talking about the wedding and planning their trip out for it the entire time. They just called her to say that wife won't be coming because she planned a bridal shower for one of her relatives at her house (2 states away) the day after our wedding! Wonderful! And better yet, Hubby is still coming and bringing their 6yr old daughter in wife's place. YOU CAN'T JUST SUB SOMEONE IN!! We are having a formal reception with passed hors d'oeuvres, plated dinner blah blah blah. Totally not going to work. They have another kid that's like idk maybe 1 now. That kid is staying at home with mom and au pair. They never even asked anyone if it was ok. They are just sending this kid to our wedding as a replacement guest. FMIL is taking a day to calm and then trying to head this off by calling them and asking if they need help finding a babysitter out this way. I hope that sends the message.

This is not OK

There's only one more couple with kids that are invited. Worst. Kids. Ever. Break everything they touch, scream, run, jump, hit.

I'm going to need a bouncer...
And perhaps a tiny little cage for the tag-a-longs...

Let "the thing" cry? Aren't you the peach of humanity.

If you don't want children at the reception, that's cool, srsly. But dehumanizing and demonizing the kids isn't necessary.

mrsconn23 · September 2013

dharmabunny said:

This has been an interesting day for RSVPs.
First, one of FI friends texted him today and asked if they could bring their infant (5 or 6mos idk) because she is breastfeeding. We are having NO kids at our wedding. Specifically were not on the invitations because we do not want kids there. The venue is a fine restaurant with a ballroom on the second floor, not very kid friendly. They also have a horrible toddler that is uncontrollable and threw rocks at my dog the ONLY time they were invited to our home. They do nothing to control their children and just smiled at how cute it was that he was trying to play "fetch." I know it is difficult to be away from a child while BFing, but she is the type to let the thing cry during the ceremony or BF in the middle of the reception. I don't want to allow her infant, which will almost certainly be followed up with fishing for a toddler invite. We do not like the mother and cannot stand the toddler. FI sent him a text back asking if there was any way around it, bc we are not having any children there. They have yet to respond. Is it bad that I hope she stays home and he comes alone?

Then, we get a phone call from FMIL who is absolutely fuming about another RSVP. F-BIL is an OOT and was one of the first cards we got back more than a month ago. FMIL and the wife had been talking about the wedding and planning their trip out for it the entire time. They just called her to say that wife won't be coming because she planned a bridal shower for one of her relatives at her house (2 states away) the day after our wedding! Wonderful! And better yet, Hubby is still coming and bringing their 6yr old daughter in wife's place. YOU CAN'T JUST SUB SOMEONE IN!! We are having a formal reception with passed hors d'oeuvres, plated dinner blah blah blah. Totally not going to work. They have another kid that's like idk maybe 1 now. That kid is staying at home with mom and au pair. They never even asked anyone if it was ok. They are just sending this kid to our wedding as a replacement guest. FMIL is taking a day to calm and then trying to head this off by calling them and asking if they need help finding a babysitter out this way. I hope that sends the message.

This is not OK

There's only one more couple with kids that are invited. Worst. Kids. Ever. Break everything they touch, scream, run, jump, hit.

I'm going to need a bouncer...
And perhaps a tiny little cage for the tag-a-longs...
Let "the thing" cry? Aren't you the peach of humanity. If you don't want children at the reception, that's cool, srsly. But dehumanizing and demonizing the kids isn't necessary.

don't forget that she might nurse during the reception too. A boob at the wedding! OH NOES!

6fsn · September 2013

mrs.conn23 said:

don't forget that she might nurse during the reception too. A boob at the wedding! OH NOES!

nipple thunder?

PirateBarbie · September 2013

Wzz said:

they have a 6 month old and a 1 year old? how does that even work? is the 1 year odl adopted? and what does BFing the infant have to do with the toddler? since you hate them, why were they invited at all? oh that's right, these are your FI's guests. i wonder how he wants to handle his friends.

That's not that hard.

I have a friend who had a (25W) preemie in June, when her older daughter was only 11 months. Her baby will be 6mo before her other child hits 17mo - so a 6mo and a 1yo.

LaurenS47516 · September 2013

Wzz said:
they have a 6 month old and a 1 year old? how does that even work? is the 1 year odl adopted? and what does BFing the infant have to do with the toddler? since you hate them, why were they invited at all? oh that's right, these are your FI's guests. i wonder how he wants to handle his friends.

Those are two different people. The 1 yr old is with the replacement kid. The toddler is with the newborn. I don't keep track of how old they are cuz i hate kids.

And we don't hate THEM we hate HER. neither kid is his. Recently she cheated on him and that's where the newborn came from...so he married her. She's a total cunt. She treats him like trash and has been making fun of our wedding plans. But she comes with the package of FI best friend so....

dharmabunny · September 2013

LaurenS47516 said:

Wzz said:
they have a 6 month old and a 1 year old? how does that even work? is the 1 year odl adopted? and what does BFing the infant have to do with the toddler? since you hate them, why were they invited at all? oh that's right, these are your FI's guests. i wonder how he wants to handle his friends.
Those are two different people. The 1 yr old is with the replacement kid. The toddler is with the newborn. I don't keep track of how old they are cuz i hate kids.

And we don't hate THEM we hate HER. neither kid is his. Recently she cheated on him and that's where the newborn came from...so he married her. She's a total cunt. She treats him like trash and has been making fun of our wedding plans. But she comes with the package of FI best friend so....

Is it enriching to live with this much hatred in your heart?

NOLABridesmaid · September 2013

Did she just use the C-word? Really?

Who does that?

LaurenS47516 · September 2013

dharmabunny said:

LaurenS47516 said:

Wzz said:
they have a 6 month old and a 1 year old? how does that even work? is the 1 year odl adopted? and what does BFing the infant have to do with the toddler? since you hate them, why were they invited at all? oh that's right, these are your FI's guests. i wonder how he wants to handle his friends.
Those are two different people. The 1 yr old is with the replacement kid. The toddler is with the newborn. I don't keep track of how old they are cuz i hate kids.

And we don't hate THEM we hate HER. neither kid is his. Recently she cheated on him and that's where the newborn came from...so he married her. She's a total cunt. She treats him like trash and has been making fun of our wedding plans. But she comes with the package of FI best friend so....
Is it enriching to live with this much hatred in your heart?

Eh. It gives me something to do. I don't like kids and i don't like trashy bitches.

Oh well i guess i better concede to the impending death of heart explosion from too much hatred. Ho hum

NOLABridesmaid · September 2013

Does anyone over the age of 19 even use the C-word?

rpotd:

I have never heard a black woman use that word. Yes, we love the B-word. Loves it, but ^^^^^^that word, not so much.

LaurenS47516 · September 2013

NOLABridesmaid said:
Does anyone over the age of 19 even use the C-word?
rpotd:
I have never heard a black woman use that word. Yes, we love the B-word. Loves it, but ^^^^^^that word, not so much.

The b-word doesn't quite get my point across. It's been overused. It's been softened. I went with something a little more raw. I feel it's an appropriate word for this rude excuse for a person i am referring to.

AuntFlo · September 2013

NOLABridesmaid said:

Did she just use the C-word? Really?

Who does that?

Seriously. She's a class act.

@LaurenS47516 - have you considered that they're inviting their kids just to screw with you since you're a miserable person who has made it clear that you hate kids?

NOLABridesmaid · September 2013

Keep it raw, then.

LaurenS47516 · September 2013

@auntflo Why am i a miserable person just because i don't like kids? I don't think that's a reasonable assumption. It's not like i invited kids and had thumb tacks for them to play with at the kids table.
I don't tell people who have their kids in tow that i hate them and they should have been aborted. I just choose not to be around kids. Especially her bastard kids. (technical term not being malicious)

hmonkey · September 2013

you know, you could also use the term "out of wedlock."

dabnabbit · September 2013

You should be honest with the person that you are and tell them exactly how you feel. You hate them and their kids, and they need to know so they don't make the mistake of trying to be around you.

LaurenS47516 · September 2013

hmonkey said:
you know, you could also use the term "out of wedlock."

Well he married her before she popped it out and its not his, so i think bastard would be the right term here. I could be wrong.

Wzz · September 2013

@barbie, thanks. i assumed wrong in assuming she meant a 12 month old for a 1 year old. ADURR.

mrsconn23 · September 2013

Bastard is a term assholes use to blame a child for their parent's (supposed) mistakes.

I guess it fits here because you seem to be one...an asshole that is.

LaurenS47516 · September 2013

Wzz said:
@barbie, thanks. i assumed wrong in assuming she meant a 12 month old for a 1 year old. ADURR.

I just explained that you both were wrong. But that's ok. You're right you're always right I'm sorry

hmonkey · September 2013

LaurenS47516 said:
Well he married her before she popped it out and its not his, so i think bastard would be the right term here. I could be wrong.

"illegitimate" work for you?

PirateBarbie · September 2013

@Wzz - i always wondered about that - people always seem to list months until 2yo or sometimes even 3yo. when does it end? People seem to look at me a bit crazy when I say Wolverine is 2, but I think 34mo is a little too specific and I'm too damn lazy to calculate on a moment's notice.

I'll be 363mo next week!

RSVPissed!

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