Gifts n such

Re: Gifts n such

• allispain member

  

  September 2013

  nmm5137 said:

  So, I purchased jewelry for all of the girls. I know your "traditionally" supposed to buy the MOH something special. But one of my BM as almost taken place of my MOH because she really hasn't done anything. Would it be weird if I got something extra for her and not the MOH?
  
  Also, whats a good gift for mothers, mine and his? Did you buy something for the dads as well?
  

  What exactly do you mean by the bolded? All your MOH (all any of your BMs) needs to do is buy the dress and show up on time to your weddings, sober. They don't have to do anything else (like plan showers or bachelorette parties) unless they want to, have the time and money to, and offer to.

  
  

  With that being said, I actually recommend getting each of your bridesmaids something personal - something that you would buy for them for their birthday, for example, as opposed to the same thing for each girl. I wouldn't get any one girl something better/nicer/extra because they are all going to be there to support you on your wedding day, and that is what these gifts are thanking them for.

  
  

  Also, you say you already bought them jewelry. Are you requiring that they wear it for the wedding? If so, then that doesn't actually count as a gift for them. If you're not requiring that they wear it, then that's just fine (I wasn't sure from your post).

  
  

  As for parents, we got each set of parents a nice 5x7 picture frame (picked to fit their aesthetic) and each of us wrote a letter to our own parents to go with it. In the letter, we let them know that we would also like to gift them a print of their choice from our wedding.

  
  

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  September 2013 edited September 2013

  1. I realize the bridal websites and magazines advertise bm gifts such as - matching necklaces, monogrammed tote bags, martini glasses, flasks etc.....but generally those items are a waste of money. Buy something that each girl will actually use after your wedding, even if it's a gift card. The gifts should be roughly of the same monetary value and not ranked according to who did how much for you. If one of your friends went out of her way to do extra stuff for you, you may buy her a extra gift, but give it to her privately, not in front of the others. I think a nice lunch or dinner out, after the wedding, would be a nice way to thank her. Ditto allispain 's sentiment. Your MOH and bms only obligations were to buy the dress and show up on time for the ceremony. If they have done anything beyond that, they went above and beyond the call of duty. 

  
  

  2. I'm a recent MOB. I didn't want or expect a gift from my daughter and SIL, other than a wedding picture. I know it's become common to buy gift for everyone, but that's an idea promoted by the wedding industry, rather than by etiquette. If you choose to buy gifts for the moms, then you should also buy gifts for the dads. But truly, I don't know a parent that wouldn't be happy to receive a letter from their son on daughter, thanking them for being great parents (if that's the case) or thanking them for helping with the wedding and maybe mentioning a favorite childhood memory or two. 

  
  

  
  

                     

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• NYCMercedes member

  

  September 2013

  @mariepoppy gave perfect advice. All this MOB wants is a Thank you letter from the kids.

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• doeydo member

  

  September 2013

  nmm5137 said:

  So, I purchased jewelry for all of the girls. I know your "traditionally" supposed to buy the MOH something special. But one of my BM as almost taken place of my MOH because she really hasn't done anything. Would it be weird if I got something extra for her and not the MOH?
  
  Also, whats a good gift for mothers, mine and his? Did you buy something for the dads as well?
  

  I'm confused.  Do you mean that you want to make one of your BMs your MOH instead of your current MOH?  Or are you under the misconception that your MOH is supposed to be your co-wedding planner/slave throughout your engagement because "you're the bride and it's *your* day"?

  
  

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• Xstatic3333 member

  

  September 2013

  I got all of my BMs NWR gifts in the same price range (and jewelry is fine for this as long as it is to their tastes and not to wear at the wedding). My MOH did host a shower for me and I know she put a lot of time in, so I thanked her for that with a hostess gift (a gift card to her favorite restaurant). I'd suggest a similar approach if your BM hosted any parties for you; keep all "official" BM gifts in the same price range and don't single anybody out, because parties and extra help are all optional.

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• Lauderdale Pink member

  

  September 2013

  I did not expect a gift from my daughter and son-in-law at all.  That said, they did give me a lovely picture frame that I will cherish forever.

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• chelcee22 member

  

  September 2013

  I agree with Xstatic. I got everyone the same gift, but got my MOH and another bridesmaid thank you gift cards after they hosted a couples shower for us.

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• gm5 member

  

  September 2013

  I also agree (i'm a 2x MOG) with MariePoppy on both points.  One son/daughter-in-law gave us a picture book frame with an opening on one side and a poem about parents on the other side, and the other son/daughter-in-law gave us a digita photo frame where they had loaded pictures of the two of them with us (mom/dad) at different occasions in the months before the wedding  Their Dad and I wanted/expected nothing.  As a parent your feelings are so hugh that day...  Sigh :-)  Someone mentioned a thank you note with a special memory.  That would be lovely and something a Mom and Dad would treasure. 

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