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Invites to 2 out of 4 siblings?

jcwrdh94jcwrdh94 member
Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

My sister in law is my matron of honor. (have known her 20 years as she & my brother started dating in 10th grade) Her parents are invited (they have is down to their cottage, are very close with my parents). My issue is my sister in law has 3 sisters, 1 of whom I am closer with (she helped me during a very difficult time, we've done stuff outside of family time & I take her zumba & boot camp classes). I definitely want to invite her but as far as the other 2 sisters, I am friendly with, but not nearly as close to. I do see everyone every 5-6 weeks for book club plus my nephews' birthday parties during the year. I'd be happy to invite everybody but not sure if they would be offended or if it's against etiquette if they don't get an invite. (The one sister got remarried last summer & I wasn't invited, nor my parents, not that it matters I guess) What should I do?

 

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Re: Invites to 2 out of 4 siblings?

  • dramamonkeydramamonkey member
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    I think, though other people will know better than I, that you're not under any obligation to invite everyone. 

    For example, I've invited my MOH and her mom/stepdad -but not her dad/stepmom, or any of her siblings and I've known them all for 20+ years. 
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  • aurorajanetteaurorajanette member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Invite the sisters you are close to, and don't invite the ones you aren't close to. They're adults, and I'm sure they won't be offended, especially if you are trying to keep things on the smaller side and they know that you aren't close.

    Just make sure that you don't talk about the wedding (at least in great detail) when you do see them at your book club meetings and other events that you mentioned.
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  • fallbride99fallbride99
    First Comment
    If you're close to the family in general- everyone should be invited. Even if you are not close to the other. I am in the same situation and we invited everyone- and they declined on the response card so it was fine either way. It could cause more than needed gossip and hurt feelings if you don't.

    Be the bigger person and invite her- she may not come and if she does, so what. Life is short. It's good form. Good Luck.
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  • ROBINRENE5ROBINRENE5 member
    Eighth Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I think as far as etiquette is concerned, you do not have to invite them.  However, if you are "friends of the family", so to speak, I think that I would invite them anyways if you have room in your guest list.  There is a good chance they will not come, but it would prevent any drama in the future if you invite them.  You will still continue to see them at future birthday parties, holidays, etc.
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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    The only time you shouldn't invite some siblings and not others is if they are younger kids living at home, IMO.  It sounds like these are 4 adult children, so it's fine to invite some and not others (obviously, send them each their own invitation, don't have 1 invite for the whole family, even if some do live at home).  From what you've described, I don't think it would be weird to invite all of them if you wanted to do that, though.  
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    There is no etiquette rule requiring you to invite all siblings when they are adults.  

    The issue to consider is whether someone will have hurt feelings.  Since you wouldn't invite them but for being related to other guests, and you weren't invited to the sister's wedding, you're probably fine to exclude them.  Maybe ask your SIL what she thinks?
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