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XP: What to do...

hockeywithadiamondhockeywithadiamond member
100 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I had a bridesmaid back out last week.  We both kind of saw it coming but I am absolutely heartbroken.  I am going to send her the bridesmaid gifts I bought and a nice note letting her know how much her friendship means to me and everything.  

I already purchased her dress, so we're going to just keep it on hand that day incase of an uh-oh moment.  We haven't had our final flower consultation yet and I'm wondering what to do about her bouquet.  They aren't cheap, but that's not even the issue.  I just don't think we need an extra bouquet that day and not sure what to do.  We can put the money from her bouquet into other things...upgrading the other BM's or mine, adding more centerpiece flowers, or just get the bouquet and have it as an extra.

I'm trying to do what's right here but with the flowers I have no idea.
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Re: XP: What to do...

  • Grabows14Grabows14 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    You sound like you think she might want to get back in the wp?
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  • doeydodoeydo member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    What was her reasoning for backing out?  It wouldn't be because of money problems, since you were the one that purchased her dress.
    As for the flowers, it was a good idea that you had to see if your florist can "amp up" the centerpieces or something instead of having an extra bridesmaid's bouquet.  
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  • chibiyuichibiyui member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Yeah, I'd just cut the order by one. If you have to get it, use it as a toss bouquet if you don't already have one of those accounted for?
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  • hockeywithadiamondhockeywithadiamond member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    It's a mix of money and personal.  Her situation is way more important than my wedding.  Our contract says we can't reduce the cost set at the contract.  I'm thinking amping up the centerpieces is good...just didn't want it to be any issue?  I dunno the whole situation just plain sucks.
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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    OP, can you add boutonnieres? You can get a nice and simple one for each of the groomsmen, MOB, MOG, FOB, FOG, grandparents, etc.



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  • allispainallispain member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    OP I'm sorry, that sucks. It's good that you're being so understanding and that you're not holding this against her. It's nice to see a grounded bride on here with this kind of issue.

    I think that the best options would be to either put that bouquet's money towards your own or towards your centerpieces, unless you really think there's a chance she might be able to still be in the BP for some reason.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'm so sorry this is happening.

    That said, can you upgrade any of your other bouquets or centerpieces, or add boutonnieres or corsages, with the fee for her bouquet?
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Jen4948 said:
    I'm so sorry this is happening.

    That said, can you upgrade any of your other bouquets or centerpieces, or add boutonnieres or corsages, with the fee for her bouquet?
    Ditto.  Just have the florist take the money for her bouquet and add some kind of small arrangement near the escort table or card table.  They should be able to do this for you.
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Based on your follow up post.  Do you think that it might make her feel good to be given her bouquet that you would have given her if she was able to stay in the WP?  If she hasn't done anything against you and is having some personal problems of her own, it could be a nice gesture that goes a long way with your friend.
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  • hockeywithadiamondhockeywithadiamond member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Thanks guys.  I think I'm going to put it into centerpieces.  We already have boutonnieres and everything in the order :(.  

    I would love to send it to her but she lives pretty far.  Thanks guys!
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  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited September 2013
    OliveOilsMom said: Based on your follow up post.  Do you think that it might make her feel good to be given her bouquet that you would have given her if she was able to stay in the WP?  If she hasn't done anything against you and is having some personal problems of her own, it could be a nice gesture that goes a long way with your friend.
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     I think this could be nice, but that assumes she can still attend, which I have to assume might be an issue since OP purchased the dress and the friend is citing money     and personal issues.  I might still get the bouquet just in case - you can always stick it in a vase on the bar or something if she doesn't come.

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