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Etiquette

NWR: Black Tie Optional

FI and I were invited to join family at a Charity Gala for a local theater.  Gala is hosted by my Aunt and Uncle and listed as "Black Tie Optional".  We honestly have never done an event of this caliber.  So I am wondering what is expected of dress?  "Optional" can easily go one way or another...

The gala is a Bollywood Theme to go in line with the theater's next production.  It will be held at a very nice hotel ballroom.  I'll be getting a longer dress for the event since most all my dress are shorter summer dresses.  FI will be wearing his suit he normally wears for weddings.  We'll be sitting at a table with my parents and two sets of cousins.  I know that my dad will be in a suit.  Suits are ok for this type of event as long as they are dressed up right?  I'll probably be getting a little bit brighter dress as it's a Bollywood event.  I found a really pretty red long dress.  I figured I could dress FI in a black suite, with black dress shirt and red tie to match the dress.           

Re: NWR: Black Tie Optional

  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Suits are fine, as tuxes are optional, not required.
    That sounds like an awesome fun time!!
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    And this is why events should be either black tie or not.  Putting "optional" in always gets people confused and second guessing themselves.  

    OP, I think a nice suit will be fine.

    NYCBruinLiatris2010PrettyGirlLost
  • And this is why events should be either black tie or not.  Putting "optional" in always gets people confused and second guessing themselves.  

    OP, I think a nice suit will be fine.
    All of this.  This is exactly the confusion we describe when explaining the many reasons why BTO is rude.

    OP-I agree, a suit will be fine.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Thanks ladies.... we decided finally through emails flying back and forth.  The host is wearing a tux, all the other male family members are going with suits.  I agree BTO definitely leaves it open to questions what should be expected :(
  • A black suit with a white shirt is always acceptable evening dress for a gentleman who does not own black tie. It is also acceptable daytime dress for a gentleman who does not own a morning coat, and is acceptable for formal business occasions too. So your fiance should be fine as long as his suit is plain and very dark; and he has a white shirt.
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    You can dress up in a gown and your FI in a tux or you could wear a cocktail dress and he could wear a simple suit.  It's optional.
    image
  • Ugh, BTO drives me nuts for exactly this reason. It's so opaque. It's fine if he wears a suit. If this is an annual event and you really want to, see if there are pictures online of last year's event and scope out what people were wearing.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    PrettyGirlLostdoeydo
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