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Thoughts on Eloping?

luckystarzluckystarz member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
edited September 2013 in June 2014 Weddings
I'm seriously considering it at this point, FI just can't decide yes or no. We wanted a super laid back, drama and stress free wedding. We decided to do St. Thomas because we wanted a beach wedding, people could come and have a vacation, and it would be a lot of fun. Well, it's been nothing but stress, drama, and craziness with FI's family. We set up a room block to try and save people money, at first we did all inclusive and they bitched and whined and complained about the price. So, we changed it to room rates only and they could find their own food. His sibling spent HOURS on the phone with our travel agent running her around in different directions only to tell her, 'never mind we'll book it ourselves online.' 

Fast forward to today, and I get an email from the travel agent who is obviously flustered at this point. FI's mom called saying she was ready to book her room, but it HAD to be close to his sibling. She wants a completely different room grade, which isn't even in the same wing on the hotel map. So she's rude to the travel agent and says she'll have to get back to her. We've also found out that people have booked outside the block, which is fine but we have to fill 13 rooms (didn't figure it'd be hard with family and such) or we are responsible for paying for them. 

At this point, we can back out of the room block and the wedding ceremony and just lose our deposits...which I am all about. I told FI this morning, this has been more of a hassle then any wedding item I've ever had to deal with. I just want to elope. My mom and several family members have offered to keep my kids (it's my second wedding, first marriage ended after he threatened to kill me and beat me up). I'm all about running off for 10 days, having a blast in the Caribbean or wherever and getting married in a small ceremony with just us. It would save a lot of money, headaches, stress, etc, FI has been stressed out, grumpy, irritable, etc since all of this has come to light. 

I know it's our decision to make, but any thoughts or insights or something I may have missed? I already have my dress and could still wear it. Only thing I see is my kids wouldn't be involved in the wedding, but we would have a big party to celebrate with our friends and family a little bit after returning. 
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Re: Thoughts on Eloping?

  • muenginerdmuenginerd member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    Sounds alot like what my BFF went through.  Her mother called and harassed the travel agent constantly to the point her FI told the mother she was no long allowed to talk to their travel agent, and told the travel agent to decline all calls from the mother.  

    In the end the destination wedding was beautiful, they couldn't concern themselves with every guest. The couple gave everyone enough notice and if people wanted to be there, they were there.  Destination was amazing, we didn't do a thing.  The wedding planner on site had everything set for them, the whole trip was flawless and beautiful.  

    A month or so after the couple returned home they hosted a party at a local parks district hall to celebrate with everyone who couldn't travel and that turned out perfect.  

    If a Caribbean wedding is what you want then do it.  With or without your family is your call.  Don't stress to terribly about family members, travel agents and hotels see this more than you would think.  That's why they get paid, let them deal with the mess.  Give your agent the heads up on areas of concern and see if they can help at all.  

    On the room block situation can your travel agent call the hotel and have guests outside of the block moved into the block at all or atleast have those rooms counted towards your guarantee number?  We just did this with our room block.  Some family members book outside the block thinking they were getting a better deal, we checked back in with the hotel and they were kind enough to move them under our block at our better rate.

    Good luck with it all, either way I'm sure it will be beautiful.
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  • livelaughlove7909livelaughlove7909 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    We are eloping and then having a party after. We both dont like being the center of attention and we would only want our immediate family at the ceremony and that would just cause a boat load of drama...All i want is to be married to the love of my life and eloping is the way for us...we are doing a local one though as its cheap.
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