Coloured shoes for bridesmaids?

PolarBearFitz · October 2013

Says the person who told a girl to please stop spamming the boards for giving a different opinion. Yeah you aren't full of yourself at all...

NYCMercedes · October 2013

It wasn't a different opinion. It was bad advice.

MobKaz · October 2013

katieg520 said:

yep, I sure am ... better tell the internet wedding police!!! Oh no! I have *gasp* standards!!!! Shocking!! And you are such a better bride than me. Oh dear Lord, I can only hope and pray that I can wake up in the morning and be like you. Oh woe is me.

Seriously... is that what you want to hear? Geez! It's the fucking knot dot com people... you don't know me in real life, nor do I know you. I'm sure you're just a peach in your real life, but you come on here to pass judgement on people you don't know just to make yourself feel better. But nobody cares!!!! I do what I want, and you do what you want. I recall in another post, I have asked you repeatedly to either ignore me, leave me alone, whatever you want. But omg!!!! If you don't like the way I do things, so be it. You don't have to. Good thing is, you don't pay a damn one of my bills, nor are you standing in the wedding. If I don't have a friend left, what's it to you? Now, be on your merry way and leave me the hell alone! @mobkaz

My, my, I do declare. You seem to have lost all sense of your southern hospitality, sweet pea.

There is quite a difference between "standards" and manners. I am making no judgments. I state facts and the facts speak for themselves. It is beyond rude to spend someone else's money to benefit yourself in a selfish manner.

You can ask until your southern face turns yankee blue, but the fact is that when you post on an internet forum, you cannot tell someone what to post, or to not post at all. If you don't want strangers commenting, then simply stop posting.

PolarBearFitz · October 2013

It really wasn't, I have been a part of several weddings. Shoes were purchased some specific and some not. It is pretty normal for bridesmaids to buy shoes. It also really is not a big deal at all and I never heard a single complaint from anyone. If they aren't expensive there shouldn't be a big fuss over it especially when the bridesmaids said they like the idea!

southernbelle0915 · October 2013

katieg520 said:
Where I'm from, when you are standing in someone's wedding, it is expected that you will pair for hair, makeup, dress, and shoes if necessary. That's just how it is. Get over yourselves. Not everybody has to do it your way. I have never asked my BMs to do anything. They have all told me "let me know what you want and how much it costs." And you have honestly never seen a bridal party where all the BMs have the same hair style. Jesus, I'm glad I'm southern.

Please don't give the impression that southern folks have bad enough manners to expect other to dish out money for anything except a dress for their wedding. It's simply bad manners to think BMs should spend money on anything except a dress in their budget.

I wanted my BMs in a certain color shoe. So I bought them. I asked them if they were OK with wearing the shoes for the ceremony and if they weren't comfortable to change into whatever they wanted afterwards. I didn't say "listen, this is MY wedding so buy the shoes I want you to wear." Why? Well, sugar, that would be bad manners now wouldn't it?

lrw757 · October 2013

Hey girl, pick up a pair of these cheap satin shoes at David's Bridal and color them to your heart's content! Have fun! You're girls will love them.

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Browse_Accessories-Shoes-Dyeable-Shoes

katieg520 · October 2013

aefitz29 said:

It really wasn't, I have been a part of several weddings. Shoes were purchased some specific and some not. It is pretty normal for bridesmaids to buy shoes. It also really is not a big deal at all and I never heard a single complaint from anyone. If they aren't expensive there shouldn't be a big fuss over it especially when the bridesmaids said they like the idea!

Exactly! It's not like she was asking them to buy Louboutins or anything!!! Chances are, the girls were going to have to buy a pair of shoes anyway.

@mobkaz and that's fine. Do what you want. I still do what I want and I couldn't care less if you like me, agree with me, or whatever. I do what I want!

MobKaz · October 2013

katieg520 said: aefitz29 said: It really wasn't, I have been a part of several weddings. Shoes were purchased some specific and some not. It is pretty normal for bridesmaids to buy shoes. It also really is not a big deal at all and I never heard a single complaint from anyone. If they aren't expensive there shouldn't be a big fuss over it especially when the bridesmaids said they like the idea! Exactly! It's not like she was asking them to buy Louboutins or anything!!! Chances are, the girls were going to have to buy a pair of shoes anyway.

@mobkaz and that's fine. Do what you want. I still do what I want and I couldn't care less if you like me, agree with me, or whatever. I do what I want!

You have hit the nail on the head, @katieg. You do what you want. I prefer to take the consideration of my friends and guests over my own personal and selfish wants and needs.

aefitz, the reason you have not heard one complaint is probably because you have friends that put a friendship first. They know how to take the high road and put others before themselves.

PolarBearFitz · October 2013

Yes and I happen to be one of them who has bought shoes, dresses and whatever else is needed for my friends on their days. Granted none of which were super expensive or demanded. We all talked and agreed on things.

Just want to be clear I am not supporting BRIDEZILLA mentality or people demanding things from their maids. I don't think I'm somehow more special than my friends just because I'm having a wedding.

CamiSelene · October 2013

Woah, nobody said anything about hair and make-up.... my MoH is a hairdresser and doing all of that for free and I'm not asking them to pay 120 dollars for shoes. I actually ended up just telling them the colour and they're going to find their own within their budget. They could be from Ardene's for all I care but actually it turned out most of them already had shoes in the colours I assigned to them. Even the one with bright yellow! Personally, I think the people that love you understand that weddings are expensive and for young couples getting married, they don't want to put themselves into a massive amount of debt when finances is one of the leading causes of divorce today. It's not about a wedding, it's about a marriage but everyone still wants a nice day to remember so family and friends are more willing to help out where they can.

artbyallie · October 2013

CamiSelene said: Woah, nobody said anything about hair and make-up.... my MoH is a hairdresser and doing all of that for free and I'm not asking them to pay 120 dollars for shoes. I actually ended up just telling them the colour and they're going to find their own within their budget. They could be from Ardene's for all I care but actually it turned out most of them already had shoes in the colours I assigned to them. Even the one with bright yellow! Personally, I think the people that love you understand that weddings are expensive and for young couples getting married, they don't want to put themselves into a massive amount of debt when finances is one of the leading causes of divorce today. It's not about a wedding, it's about a marriage but everyone still wants a nice day to remember so family and friends are more willing to help out where they can.

That is so not an excuse to expect other people to pay for things. You can't afford what you want for your wedding; you don't have it. I don't get this mentality of 'oh, someone else can take on that cost for me.' What makes you so entitled? For most people, weddings used to be cake and punch in the church basement with a handful of family. Why does every other woman feel like they deserve a fancy dress and a fancy meal and dancing and so on even if they can't actually pay for it themselves?

Also, no one looks at, notices, or remembers a bridesmaid's shoes. I don't even have one single picture where you can even tell what mine have on their feet.

CamiSelene · October 2013

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions but people have been paying for their own bridesmaid attire for ages and I don't see a problem with it if the bridesmaids have all had a say in what they wear and what they spend. My bridesmaids picked their own dresses and their own shoes and they are more than happy to do it because they want to take part in the day with us. For all I care I could have gone to the court house but since our families and friends have said that they want to be part of our day, I am taking the time to plan and prepare everything myself. Including the cake, invites, guest favours, etc.... all of it making it myself my own on top of putting in about 70 hours a week at work along with coaching since I have no friends or family that lives near me and I don't want to accrue any debt over it. So don't you dare call me entitled when you don't know me. I save for things that I want and work my butt off to get it unlike some other people today who think money just falls out of the sky and have no problem putting theirselves into debt. In my family, we work as a community and my friends are of that same mentality. We work together. You can judge however you want but I didn't post on here to get attacked because the way my friends and family have decided to go about things doesn't mesh with your ideals, I posted on here to get some helpful ideas. So thank you to those of you that gave me some ideas. I ended up being lucky enough that almost all my bridesmaids had shoes in the colours we wanted and the one that doesn't said she has no problem finding a pair in her budget because it's actually her favourite colour.

Dreamergirl8812 · October 2013

katieg520 said:

aefitz29 said:

It really wasn't, I have been a part of several weddings. Shoes were purchased some specific and some not. It is pretty normal for bridesmaids to buy shoes. It also really is not a big deal at all and I never heard a single complaint from anyone. If they aren't expensive there shouldn't be a big fuss over it especially when the bridesmaids said they like the idea!

Exactly! It's not like she was asking them to buy Louboutins or anything!!! Chances are, the girls were going to have to buy a pair of shoes anyway.

@mobkaz and that's fine. Do what you want. I still do what I want and I couldn't care less if you like me, agree with me, or whatever. I do what I want!

Aren't you the one that had a tantrum because your "girls" weren't "involved" enough? And you're making your "girls" get their hair done professionally?

You are not in a position to give advice to anyone.

MobKaz · October 2013

Dreamergirl8812 said:

katieg520 said:

aefitz29 said:

It really wasn't, I have been a part of several weddings. Shoes were purchased some specific and some not. It is pretty normal for bridesmaids to buy shoes. It also really is not a big deal at all and I never heard a single complaint from anyone. If they aren't expensive there shouldn't be a big fuss over it especially when the bridesmaids said they like the idea!

Exactly! It's not like she was asking them to buy Louboutins or anything!!! Chances are, the girls were going to have to buy a pair of shoes anyway.

@mobkaz and that's fine. Do what you want. I still do what I want and I couldn't care less if you like me, agree with me, or whatever. I do what I want!

Aren't you the one that had a tantrum because your "girls" weren't "involved" enough? And you're making your "girls" get their hair done professionally?

You are not in a position to give advice to anyone.

NYCMercedes · October 2013

CamiSelene said:

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions but people have been paying for their own bridesmaid attire for ages and I don't see a problem with it if the bridesmaids have all had a say in what they wear and what they spend. My bridesmaids picked their own dresses and their own shoes and they are more than happy to do it because they want to take part in the day with us. For all I care I could have gone to the court house but since our families and friends have said that they want to be part of our day, I am taking the time to plan and prepare everything myself. Including the cake, invites, guest favours, etc.... all of it making it myself my own on top of putting in about 70 hours a week at work along with coaching since I have no friends or family that lives near me and I don't want to accrue any debt over it. So don't you dare call me entitled when you don't know me. I save for things that I want and work my butt off to get it unlike some other people today who think money just falls out of the sky and have no problem putting theirselves into debt. In my family, we work as a community and my friends are of that same mentality. We work together. You can judge however you want but I didn't post on here to get attacked because the way my friends and family have decided to go about things doesn't mesh with your ideals, I posted on here to get some helpful ideas. So thank you to those of you that gave me some ideas. I ended up being lucky enough that almost all my bridesmaids had shoes in the colours we wanted and the one that doesn't said she has no problem finding a pair in her budget because it's actually her favourite colour.

artbyallie · October 2013

Really? @CamiSelene, you're going to pull the 'everyone's done it' excuse? Just because something has been done for a long time does not make it a good thing to do. I do hope I don't need specific examples there; I'm sure you can think of some. And I was not attacking you by pointing out that you don't need to have things you don't want to pay for.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

I think you ladies have done something really rude here. This girl, who clearly stated it's even her first time asking anything, wanted advice about cheap comfy shoes and you guys hijacked her forum for an argument and almost lashing about etiquette. I feel like it is easy to say you have manners but real manners do not include being rude to someone because their opinion is different. I also think that there is a whole etiquette board for questions like "should my brides maids pay for their own shoes?" But on the thread here about attire, and the question from this lady about cheap and comfy shoes, I don't think it's polite to have your personal arguments.

@camiselen have you though about getting your ladies a pair of flip flops in "their color" for the reception? No shoes cute enough (and cheap enough) are comfortable enough to dance in all night

I think that would be a super cute gift idea for your ladies!

artbyallie · October 2013

clairekundinger said:

I think you ladies have done something really rude here. This girl, who clearly stated it's even her first time asking anything, wanted advice about cheap comfy shoes and you guys hijacked her forum for an argument and almost lashing about etiquette. I feel like it is easy to say you have manners but real manners do not include being rude to someone because their opinion is different. I also think that there is a whole etiquette board for questions like "should my brides maids pay for their own shoes?" But on the thread here about attire, and the question from this lady about cheap and comfy shoes, I don't think it's polite to have your personal arguments. @camiselen have you though about getting your ladies a pair of flip flops in "their color" for the reception? No shoes cute enough (and cheap enough) are comfortable enough to dance in all night I think that would be a super cute gift idea for your ladies!

1. This isn't 'her forum.' It's an international forum on the internet and people can and will comment on any details in the post.

2. There is nothing rude about pointing out that it is inappropriate to make one's bridesmaids buy shoes.

3. Flip flops for the reception because the shoes you made them buy hurt their feet is NOT a good bridesmaid gift.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

Says who? I think it is super cute! I would really appreciate that gift from a bride, shoes are not comfortable to dance in IMO and I think a lot of people agree with me because a lot of people kick them off at receptions to dance barefoot! What a thoughtful thing for the bride to remember for her ladies!

Liatris2010 · October 2013

clairekundinger said:

Says who? I think it is super cute! I would really appreciate that gift from a bride, shoes are not comfortable to dance in IMO and I think a lot of people agree with me because a lot of people kick them off at receptions to dance barefoot! What a thoughtful thing for the bride to remember for her ladies!

I don't consider cheap flip flops a very good gift. Making me buy uncomfortable matching BM shoes, but then providing me with some Old Navy flip flops is not considerate or thoughtful. Thoughtful is realizing not everyone has similarly shaped feet, that no one cares about BM shoes, and then letting your BMs pick their own shoes. That is thoughtful.

CamiSelene · October 2013

I think you've completely missed the part where the girls are actually wearing their own shoes, not all the same. They are shoes they picked for theirselves and actually already owned with the exception of one who is finding her own in her colour. I know someone Who did the flip flop thing and we all loved it! I think it's a cute and thoughtful idea

kgd7357 · October 2013

I didn't mention anything to my BMs about shoes, but they asked. I said, I guess not black since it probably wouldn't look very good with navy. They were slightly annoyed that I wasn't more specific. It turns out they all had either silver or nude shoes (I think both would look great), so we went with that, and they can wear either color at the wedding. Although, they were all saying they were willing to buy new ones, and one probably will because she wants to. (This coming from the same girls though that I gave 5 different dress options to and they all picked the most expensive one.) I guess it just depends on your friends. Mine love shoes, so I think they would have been okay if I said pink. I guess I don't see how shoes are that much different than the dress if you keep budget and your girls in mind.

mimiphin · October 2013

clairekundinger said:
I think you ladies have done something really rude here. This girl, who clearly stated it's even her first time asking anything, wanted advice about cheap comfy shoes and you guys hijacked her forum for an argument and almost lashing about etiquette. I feel like it is easy to say you have manners but real manners do not include being rude to someone because their opinion is different. I also think that there is a whole etiquette board for questions like "should my brides maids pay for their own shoes?" But on the thread here about attire, and the question from this lady about cheap and comfy shoes, I don't think it's polite to have your personal arguments.
clairekundinger said:

Says who? I think it is super cute! I would really appreciate that gift from a bride, shoes are not comfortable to dance in IMO and I think a lot of people agree with me because a lot of people kick them off at receptions to dance barefoot! What a thoughtful thing for the bride to remember for her ladies!

Do you just show up to tell us how rude/impolite we all are and how we don't have "real manners"

Giving flip flops are fine but they are not the bm/moh gift (also some of us wouldn't be caught dead in them at a wedding!)

Don't even get me started on dancing barefoot! I am a believer in the Church of Jenna Marbles, please open your hymnals to page 394 verse 13,

Thou shalt say "When you go out at night, you need to make like a mini-marriage to your shoes. You need to sit in your room, before you get ready, look at your shoes and make a commitment to it. Girls make like hasty little commitments to their shoes, it’s like ‘till drunk do us part.’ No, it’s ‘till home do us part’"

southernbelle0915 · October 2013

clairekundinger said:

I think you ladies have done something really rude here. This girl, who clearly stated it's even her first time asking anything, wanted advice about cheap comfy shoes and you guys hijacked her forum for an argument and almost lashing about etiquette. I feel like it is easy to say you have manners but real manners do not include being rude to someone because their opinion is different. I also think that there is a whole etiquette board for questions like "should my brides maids pay for their own shoes?" But on the thread here about attire, and the question from this lady about cheap and comfy shoes, I don't think it's polite to have your personal arguments. @camiselen have you though about getting your ladies a pair of flip flops in "their color" for the reception? No shoes cute enough (and cheap enough) are comfortable enough to dance in all night I think that would be a super cute gift idea for your ladies!

I don't agree with the bolded. If a bride gifted me with these as a BM, I would politely thank her and wear my own shoes. I don't wear flip flops with cocktail dresses.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

Different strokes for different folks. I wouldn't give flip flops as my BM or my MOH gifts and certainly didn't mean to imply that, but I think they would be a cute gift. I like to get gifts for people just because, it doesn't always have to be a reason. I don't think anyone would have to wear them.

@mimiphin I actually do think you are pretty rude but that's okay because there is nothing anyone here can do with it except put up with it or leave. I've decided to put up with it and I hope you have a nice day

mimiphin · October 2013

clairekundinger said:

Different strokes for different folks. I wouldn't give flip flops as my BM or my MOH gifts and certainly didn't mean to imply that, but I think they would be a cute gift. I like to get gifts for people just because, it doesn't always have to be a reason. I don't think anyone would have to wear them. @mimiphin I actually do think you are pretty rude but that's okay because there is nothing anyone here can do with it except put up with it or leave. I've decided to put up with it and I hope you have a nice day

Really??? I had NO idea that you don't like me, since you tell me every chance you can.

mbrooke2008 · October 2013

katieg520 said:

aefitz29 said:

It really wasn't, I have been a part of several weddings. Shoes were purchased some specific and some not. It is pretty normal for bridesmaids to buy shoes. It also really is not a big deal at all and I never heard a single complaint from anyone. If they aren't expensive there shouldn't be a big fuss over it especially when the bridesmaids said they like the idea!

Exactly! It's not like she was asking them to buy Louboutins or anything!!! Chances are, the girls were going to have to buy a pair of shoes anyway.

@mobkaz and that's fine. Do what you want. I still do what I want and I couldn't care less if you like me, agree with me, or whatever. I do what I want!

I'm also from the South and will agree wholeheartedly with you. It's not about the bride being rude, bossy or self absorbed, it's about the bridesmaids doing what the bride wants because it's her special day and they want to make her happy. I did have my girls wear identical blue shoes. I paid for them all, but they all said they would be more than happy to reimburse me for their pair. And I paid for their hair and makeup, and again they thanked me and all said they would wear their hair and makeup in whatever style would make me happy since it was my wedding day. I am pretty laid back and all that was important to me was they were in matching dresses and shoes, and where I am from it is pretty common for girls to wear matching dresses/shoes, and most BMs do pay for them. You asked these girls to be in the bridal party and they accepted knowing there would be some costs associated with that. I am not saying the bride should pick out a dress or shoes that are outrageously priced and except all the girls to be able to afford that but if it is within reason I don't know that I think it should be a problem.

southernbelle0915 · October 2013

mbrooke2008 said:

katieg520 said:

aefitz29 said:

It really wasn't, I have been a part of several weddings. Shoes were purchased some specific and some not. It is pretty normal for bridesmaids to buy shoes. It also really is not a big deal at all and I never heard a single complaint from anyone. If they aren't expensive there shouldn't be a big fuss over it especially when the bridesmaids said they like the idea!

Exactly! It's not like she was asking them to buy Louboutins or anything!!! Chances are, the girls were going to have to buy a pair of shoes anyway.

@mobkaz and that's fine. Do what you want. I still do what I want and I couldn't care less if you like me, agree with me, or whatever. I do what I want!

I'm also from the South and will agree wholeheartedly with you. It's not about the bride being rude, bossy or self absorbed, it's about the bridesmaids doing what the bride wants because it's her special day and they want to make her happy. I did have my girls wear identical blue shoes. I paid for them all, but they all said they would be more than happy to reimburse me for their pair. And I paid for their hair and makeup, and again they thanked me and all said they would wear their hair and makeup in whatever style would make me happy since it was my wedding day. I am pretty laid back and all that was important to me was they were in matching dresses and shoes, and where I am from it is pretty common for girls to wear matching dresses/shoes, and most BMs do pay for them. You asked these girls to be in the bridal party and they accepted knowing there would be some costs associated with that. I am not saying the bride should pick out a dress or shoes that are outrageously priced and except all the girls to be able to afford that but if it is within reason I don't know that I think it should be a problem.

Bridesmaids doing whatever the bride wants is not a regional thing. It's not a southern thing. In fact, good manners and being unimposing on other people are key elements of southern hospitality. Making your (general you) friends do whatever you want and using the excuse that you're getting married is not polite no matter where you are.

The polite way to go about this as a bride is to ask each BM privately what their budget is for a dress. Then the bride can choose a dress at the lowest budget so that everyone is comfortably accommodated. Add-ons like shoes, hair, make-up - if the bride wants to OFFER to pay for them, fine. But a BM can certainly say "I'd be more comfortable wearing my own shoes." or "I'd rather not get my hair/make-up done, but thank you for offering to pay for it." And if the BM declines, that's that. The point is that BMs can decline and it doesn't mean they don't want to see the bride happy, or they're revolting in some way. It's really not that deep.

I think it's very nice that you paid for shoes, hair and make-up for your BMs and that they were happy. However, it's not ok for 1) brides to demand that their BMs pay for these things or 2) that the bride pay for it and demand that they get it done.

katieg520 · October 2013

clairekundinger said:

Says who? I think it is super cute! I would really appreciate that gift from a bride, shoes are not comfortable to dance in IMO and I think a lot of people agree with me because a lot of people kick them off at receptions to dance barefoot! What a thoughtful thing for the bride to remember for her ladies!

I actually have a friend who bought her bridal party the flip flops in ... actually, I don't know if she bought them in the dress color or their favorite color. Hmmmm... Either way, she bought them flip flops and they loved it!

mbrooke2008 said:

katieg520 said:

aefitz29 said:

It really wasn't, I have been a part of several weddings. Shoes were purchased some specific and some not. It is pretty normal for bridesmaids to buy shoes. It also really is not a big deal at all and I never heard a single complaint from anyone. If they aren't expensive there shouldn't be a big fuss over it especially when the bridesmaids said they like the idea!

Exactly! It's not like she was asking them to buy Louboutins or anything!!! Chances are, the girls were going to have to buy a pair of shoes anyway.

@mobkaz and that's fine. Do what you want. I still do what I want and I couldn't care less if you like me, agree with me, or whatever. I do what I want!

I'm also from the South and will agree wholeheartedly with you. It's not about the bride being rude, bossy or self absorbed, it's about the bridesmaids doing what the bride wants because it's her special day and they want to make her happy. I did have my girls wear identical blue shoes. I paid for them all, but they all said they would be more than happy to reimburse me for their pair. And I paid for their hair and makeup, and again they thanked me and all said they would wear their hair and makeup in whatever style would make me happy since it was my wedding day. I am pretty laid back and all that was important to me was they were in matching dresses and shoes, and where I am from it is pretty common for girls to wear matching dresses/shoes, and most BMs do pay for them. You asked these girls to be in the bridal party and they accepted knowing there would be some costs associated with that. I am not saying the bride should pick out a dress or shoes that are outrageously priced and except all the girls to be able to afford that but if it is within reason I don't know that I think it should be a problem.

Thanks! I actually chose the cheapest dress that everyone agreed on! Also, I told them they could wear whatever shoes they want in a darker color like black or gray, and they all already own shoes that would work. I am paying for my MOH hair and makeup. I asked the rest if the cost of the hair and makeup was ok, and if they didn't want to get it done, that was fine. They all assured me that they want it and the cost was cheaper than what they were expecting.

MobKaz · October 2013

katieg520 said:

clairekundinger said:

Says who? I think it is super cute! I would really appreciate that gift from a bride, shoes are not comfortable to dance in IMO and I think a lot of people agree with me because a lot of people kick them off at receptions to dance barefoot! What a thoughtful thing for the bride to remember for her ladies!

I actually have a friend who bought her bridal party the flip flops in ... actually, I don't know if she bought them in the dress color or their favorite color. Hmmmm... Either way, she bought them flip flops and they loved it!

mbrooke2008 said:

katieg520 said:

aefitz29 said:

It really wasn't, I have been a part of several weddings. Shoes were purchased some specific and some not. It is pretty normal for bridesmaids to buy shoes. It also really is not a big deal at all and I never heard a single complaint from anyone. If they aren't expensive there shouldn't be a big fuss over it especially when the bridesmaids said they like the idea!

Exactly! It's not like she was asking them to buy Louboutins or anything!!! Chances are, the girls were going to have to buy a pair of shoes anyway.

@mobkaz and that's fine. Do what you want. I still do what I want and I couldn't care less if you like me, agree with me, or whatever. I do what I want!

I'm also from the South and will agree wholeheartedly with you. It's not about the bride being rude, bossy or self absorbed, it's about the bridesmaids doing what the bride wants because it's her special day and they want to make her happy. I did have my girls wear identical blue shoes. I paid for them all, but they all said they would be more than happy to reimburse me for their pair. And I paid for their hair and makeup, and again they thanked me and all said they would wear their hair and makeup in whatever style would make me happy since it was my wedding day. I am pretty laid back and all that was important to me was they were in matching dresses and shoes, and where I am from it is pretty common for girls to wear matching dresses/shoes, and most BMs do pay for them. You asked these girls to be in the bridal party and they accepted knowing there would be some costs associated with that. I am not saying the bride should pick out a dress or shoes that are outrageously priced and except all the girls to be able to afford that but if it is within reason I don't know that I think it should be a problem.

Thanks! I actually chose the cheapest dress that everyone agreed on! Also, I told them they could wear whatever shoes they want in a darker color like black or gray, and they all already own shoes that would work. I am paying for my MOH hair and makeup. I asked the rest if the cost of the hair and makeup was ok, and if they didn't want to get it done, that was fine. They all assured me that they want it and the cost was cheaper than what they were expecting.

You are paying for one BM and not the rest?? How is that fair, or even logical? You are not telling the whole tale here. You said that you are requiring them to wear identical hair styles and have their make up professionally done to the tune of $120 so that they "look put together" (your words). So which is it? Can they choose to not have the cloned, professionally styled hair?

You got some "splaining" to do.....

Coloured shoes for bridesmaids?

Re: Coloured shoes for bridesmaids?

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