Is this rude?

raeah219 · October 2013

I'm having a budget wedding, but I still want it to be as nice as possible. We are strongly considering hiring a local bbq restaurant to do the catering, but I really dont want them to wear those hideous uniform t-shirts that they wear. They have pics of an obnoxious looking pig with an apple in his mouth. We are having a relaxed wedding, but not that relaxed! Would it be rude to offer to provide the attendants with black collared shirts to wear while they are working my wedding? Am I being ridiculous? I probably am lol.

CrazyCatLady3 · October 2013

I don't think it is rude to *request* that they wear the shirts, given that they are a hired vendor and not guests.

Jen4948 · October 2013

I think it would be rude to expect your vendors to dress out of their normal work clothes for your wedding.

raeah219 · October 2013

Jen4948 said:

I think it would be rude to expect your vendors to dress out of their normal work clothes for your wedding.

Yea you're probably right, but the shirts are just so ugly lol. Its a very minor detail though. I probably wont be able to keep my eyes off of my hubby that night anyway.

Jen4948 · October 2013

raeah219 said:

Jen4948 said:

I think it would be rude to expect your vendors to dress out of their normal work clothes for your wedding.

Yea you're probably right, but the shirts are just so ugly lol. Its a very minor detail though. I probably wont be able to keep my eyes off of my hubby that night anyway.

Well, if your venue has a dress code and the shirts violated the dress code (other than just the picture on it) you could require them to comply with the dress code, but these shirts probably do, the picture notwithstanding, so I don't think you could politely ask them not to wear them.

itzMS · October 2013

The shirts are probably advertising for their business, so I think it would be a bit rude to imply that their advertising isn't tasteful enough for you.

If you can't deal with it, choose a new caterer.

raeah219 · October 2013

itzMS said:

The shirts are probably advertising for their business, so I think it would be a bit rude to imply that their advertising isn't tasteful enough for you. If you can't deal with it, choose a new caterer.

You know I selfishly never even thought about the fact that I would be taking away from their advertising. Very good point.

photokitty · October 2013

I would ask them. If they cater regularly they might have different uniforms for catering events. If not I don't think it is rude to ask them to wear something else if you will pay for the shirts and provide them - it never hurts to ask. If they refuse, you can just order the food and hire other people to serve it who will dress as you would like. GL!

CrazyCatLady3 · October 2013

If you are paying for them to come and serve at your party, they cannot expect the right to advertise their business for something they're already being paid for. It's not like you are going into their restaurant and telling them to take off their shirts. It's a different situation.

SP29 · October 2013

You could call and ask them if they have a different uniform for weddings or other events. It is possible they do. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

As for the pig display, that is something you could negotiate and have them not put out.

raeah219 · October 2013

SP29 said:

You could call and ask them if they have a different uniform for weddings or other events. It is possible they do. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

As for the pig display, that is something you could negotiate and have them not put out.

Its a picture of a pig on the t-shirts, not an actual edible pig

SP29 · October 2013

Ah, gotcha!

Yeah, I can see how one would not particularly like that uniform for a wedding (or any big event). I would call and ask if they have a plain shirt (any colour really) that is also part of the uniform.

cowgirl8238 · October 2013

I personally feel that if you are hiring them for an event you could at the very least request something different. You never know and they might have a different dress for a paid event (like a wedding). IMO if you are paying them to cater your wedding they shouldn't be advertising their business there, but thats just me. Hopefully they already know how to dress at a wedding and if not you can find someone else or just let them wear the shirts...there's a good chance no one will notice.

daria24 · October 2013

I think it's fine to ask if they have something a bit dressier, like a white oxford and black or khaki pants, or wearing all black clothing.

I think providing them with clothing they have to wear is a bit over the top.

NYCMercedes · October 2013

If you don't like the shirts and they have no catering uniform, I'd ask them to wear shirts you provide.

raeah219 · October 2013

daria24 said:

I think it's fine to ask if they have something a bit dressier, like a white oxford and black or khaki pants, or wearing all black clothing.

I think providing them with clothing they have to wear is a bit over the top.

I wanted to provide the shirts because I felt like it would be wrong to expect them to go out and buy new shirts just for my event, that to me seems really over the top. I felt like since I was the one with the issue with the shirts then I would need to take it upon myself to provide a shirt i liked

Inkdancer · October 2013

Talk to them first. If they already have a more formal uniform, then you don't need to provide anything. Communication is the best way to resolve this smoothly.

tammym1001 · October 2013

"What will the servers be wearing" was a standard question that I asked all vendors. I don't think there's anything wrong with asking what they will be wearing because they might have something different for weddings. Asking them to wear shirts you buy is kind of weird though, IMHO. If they wear the t-shirts and it's a deal breaker for you then they aren't the right caterer for you.

futurepastorswife · October 2013

The local BBQ place near us that caters has two different uniforms. You might just ask, and they may already have a second uniform for weddings if they do weddings often. GL!

itzMS · October 2013

My opinion is the minority clearly...but I think asking the staff to wear something different is just ridiculous. This is a BBQ joint, not the Ritz Carlton.

kitty8403 · October 2013

I wouldn't want to see that either! They are paid vendors. I also don't understand why they would need to advertise so overtly at a formal event like that -- their catering van and any packaging should be plenty. I don't think this is an unreasonable request at all.
Can you hire (more appropriately dressed) people to actually serve the food and either just order it from the restaurant or only have the kitchen staff from there? Or see if they actually do have catering uniforms?

phira · October 2013

Honestly, I'd just ask. Phrase it so that you're clear that 1) you would still like to have them cater your wedding, 2) and you would be happy to provide shirts.

Maggie0829 · October 2013

I am with itzMS on this one. As a guest I could give two shits what the caterer is wearing.

melbelleup · October 2013

Maggie0829 said:

I am with itzMS on this one. As a guest I could give two shits what the caterer is wearing.

Same.. as long as they don't spit in my food, it's warm and in a timely manner, let them wear pig

kmmssg · October 2013

This is where you stand back and think about what people notice at weddings. What the catering staff is wearing is not even on my radar. As long as it is clean and presentable, I don't care. To be honest, if I saw the staff wearing a shirt with the pig/apple pic on it I would assume they know what they are doing BBQ wise, so load up my plate please! I would not let this be a big stressor in the world of wedding planning.

photokitty · October 2013

itzMS said:
My opinion is the minority clearly...but I think asking the staff to wear something different is just ridiculous. This is a BBQ joint, not the Ritz Carlton.

If op was having the reception at the bbq joint i would agree, but since she is hiring their catering services i think a different, more presentable uniform isn't too much to ask

heathertims · October 2013

There is not harm in requesting they wear something other than the pig shirts. I think it would fair if they just wore any type of shirt with a collar.
I'm sure your not the first to ask.

We had our wedding at a traditional Quebecois Sugar Shack, where they wear traditional getup. I figured they were beging really flexible with us for a lot of things, so i would not be "over the top" and ask they wear "normal clothes".They did anyway. At the end of the day it wouldnt have mattered anyway, just stood out a lot amongst our guests.

JoanE2012 · October 2013

CrazyCatLady3 said:

If you are paying for them to come and serve at your party, they cannot expect the right to advertise their business for something they're already being paid for. It's not like you are going into their restaurant and telling them to take off their shirts. It's a different situation.

I've rarely seen a business out and about whether at a private party or public event that doesn't advertise in some way, shape or form. It's good for the business and draws in potential customers. I love knowing who is serving what, because if it's good, I may have a new place to go to on Saturday night for dinner or when I'm looking for something for a large gathering.

The business isn't required to dress a certain way to please the paying customer. They could just say no to the business.

Personally, I wouldn't care what they were wearing. They are not the guests. It does not take away from the "feel" of the wedding. It's BBQ, not a 5 course plated meal served by white-gloved servers. If a pig on a shirt isn't classy enough, perhaps a different cuisine should be served.

OP - It wouldn't hurt to ask if they have something else they wear. If not, I really wouldn't worry about it.

ETA: As a guest, I care about the taste of the food, not what the servers are wearing. If the food is really good, THAT'S what I'm going to be talking about after the wedding, not their shirts.

CheleLyn · November 2013

We are also doing BBQ from a local smokehouse. I never gave a second thought to what they will be wearing. Personally, I don't think anyone else will give it a second thought, either.

Is this rude?

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