Thank you question

akmiller2010 · November 2013

So I'm probably over thinking this as my wedding is in 2 days, but do you send a thank you not for a card? A few out of town family members that I'm not super close with sent us just cards. Is that classified as a gift? Do I need to send a thank you. I don't want to offend anyone by not sending one, but I'm concerned that it might seem gift grabby to send one.

HisGirlFriday13 · November 2013

I think you're safe not to. If you wanted to, you could thank them for the card and say you wish they could have joined you. But I really think you're OK not to thank them for a card.

misssunshine17 · November 2013

They're NOT attending, but sent a card? No, you don't need to send a thank you.

If they attend but didn't give a gift, I did send a thank you since I appreciated them attending our wedding. Some people think this is gift grabby, but I genuinely was glad they attended, so I wanted to send a card.

Inkdancer · November 2013

I would send a card, for two reasons. 1. It is very gracious to thank people for wishing you well. 2. If you thank them for the well-wishes and they also sent a gift, it will alert them that the gift was not received.

itzMS · November 2013

Inkdancer said:
I would send a card, for two reasons. 1. It is very gracious to thank people for wishing you well. 2. If you thank them for the well-wishes and they also sent a gift, it will alert them that the gift was not received.

On the flip side...it could also look like you're fishing for a gift or making a point to let them know you know they came emptyhanded.

Gift=Thank you note

photokitty · November 2013

itzMS said:

I would send a card, for two reasons. 1. It is very gracious to thank people for wishing you well. 2. If you thank them for the well-wishes and they also sent a gift, it will alert them that the gift was not received.
On the flip side...it could also look like you're fishing for a gift or making a point to let them know you know they came emptyhanded. Gift=Thank you note

^^this.

I would not send a thank you. Unless you routinely send thank you notes for birthday cards they will not expect to receive anything from you in return

Inkdancer · November 2013

photokitty said:

itzMS said:

I would send a card, for two reasons. 1. It is very gracious to thank people for wishing you well. 2. If you thank them for the well-wishes and they also sent a gift, it will alert them that the gift was not received.
On the flip side...it could also look like you're fishing for a gift or making a point to let them know you know they came emptyhanded. Gift=Thank you note

^^this.
I would not send a thank you. Unless you routinely send thank you notes for birthday cards they will not expect to receive anything from you in return

I guess that depends on how you phrase it. I would probably write something along the lines of "Thank you so much for the well-wishes! So sorry to miss you on the big day--we'll be thinking of you. Hope you're doing well. Love, me."

photokitty · November 2013

Inkdancer said:

photokitty said:

itzMS said:

I would send a card, for two reasons. 1. It is very gracious to thank people for wishing you well. 2. If you thank them for the well-wishes and they also sent a gift, it will alert them that the gift was not received.
On the flip side...it could also look like you're fishing for a gift or making a point to let them know you know they came emptyhanded. Gift=Thank you note

^^this.
I would not send a thank you. Unless you routinely send thank you notes for birthday cards they will not expect to receive anything from you in return

I guess that depends on how you phrase it. I would probably write something along the lines of "Thank you so much for the well-wishes! So sorry to miss you on the big day--we'll be thinking of you. Hope you're doing well. Love, me."

OK, I can work with that and can see your side

This would be (IMHO) a general correspondence and should be written in a card that does not have "thank you" printed on it by the card marker. It could be a blank card or general salutation card. But I would not use the thank you notes I had purchased to send to those who gave us gifts. If I was close to them I would call them or tell them in person - that's what I did.

Jen4948 · November 2013

Cards without gifts or attendance don't require thank-yous.

jenniferurs · November 2013

itzMS said:

Inkdancer said:
I would send a card, for two reasons. 1. It is very gracious to thank people for wishing you well. 2. If you thank them for the well-wishes and they also sent a gift, it will alert them that the gift was not received.
On the flip side...it could also look like you're fishing for a gift or making a point to let them know you know they came emptyhanded.

Gift=Thank you note

Wait, so do you not send thank you notes to those who attended but did not bring a gift? I was always under the impression that it was proper to thank someone for mere attendance alone.

smalfrie19 · November 2013

jenniferurs said:

I would send a card, for two reasons. 1. It is very gracious to thank people for wishing you well. 2. If you thank them for the well-wishes and they also sent a gift, it will alert them that the gift was not received.
On the flip side...it could also look like you're fishing for a gift or making a point to let them know you know they came emptyhanded. Gift=Thank you note
Wait, so do you not send thank you notes to those who attended but did not bring a gift? I was always under the impression that it was proper to thank someone for mere attendance alone.

That is normally in the form of a reception an thanking people personally when they are in attendance at the celebration.

SP29 · November 2013

jenniferurs said:

I would send a card, for two reasons. 1. It is very gracious to thank people for wishing you well. 2. If you thank them for the well-wishes and they also sent a gift, it will alert them that the gift was not received.
On the flip side...it could also look like you're fishing for a gift or making a point to let them know you know they came emptyhanded. Gift=Thank you note
Wait, so do you not send thank you notes to those who attended but did not bring a gift? I was always under the impression that it was proper to thank someone for mere attendance alone.

Your reception is your thank you to your guests for coming.

Thank you question

Re: Thank you question

Choose Another Board

Search Boards