So I'm having a kind of basic wedding planning issue...my fiancé and I are having a very small wedding with a guest list of about 40 people, and we're planning on having the ceremony in a garden and the reception in our own backyard. I'd like it to have a fun and intimate feel to it. I'm not close with some of my family members so some aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. are not invited, and from what I've heard those people were not expecting invitations and aren't taking it too personally. My fiancé is also not close with (to the point of pretty much hating) certain family members on his side. Those people on his side have a long history of drug abuse to where every Thanksgiving/holiday get together his parents are forced to hide their valuables and lock their closet, bedroom, basement, and even a bathroom door to keep them from stealing (last year a female cousin stole a 150 dollar flat iron on Thanksgiving and it was returned by another family member a week later). It's insane! My fiancé and his brother do not keep in touch with these family members and try to refrain from speaking with them because they really disagree with a lot of their life choices. Now to the dilemma! My future mother in law really wants us to invite his aunt, who is one of these crazy drugged out people. She brought it up over the phone and said that this aunt would be crushed if she weren't invited and so on. This woman was late and high at her own mother's funeral for God's sake, why would either of us want her at our wedding? The MIL really is pushing it on us and has always said "family first" even when they're doing terrible things. She just forgives them. Now I've known my fiancé and his family for almost seven years, I've even lived with all of them for a couple of years, and I'm pretty close to my future MIL, so for her to insist on this when she knows both of our feelings is really strange. She's a photographer and she took our save the date photos (I actually made and printed the save the dates) and she says she'll help with our DIY backyard photo booth, but neither her nor anyone on my side is paying for anything for the wedding, we're doing it on our own. How do I put my foot down? She really has the best intentions but I do not trust his aunt at the ceremony or especially the reception at our own home (she's never been over), and if she WERE to come I know she'd bring her husband, son and daughter, their babies...it opens a whole new can of worms. She always extends her invitation to others at any event. The MIL also knows how my fiancé feels so I think she's purposely bringing it up when we're alone so my fiancé isn't there to defend me and agree with me so I'm left kind of saying "well, um, you know... we'll see". Is there a way to put my foot down kindly? I really don't think I'm wrong in this, there is a very long history of issues with this aunt and her children, so it's not like I'm judging her or assuming she'll act a certain way, I've observed these things myself over the years. It's to the point wherr my fiancé is getting frustrated and I don't think he'll say anything nice to his mom about it. Any advice?