Pre-wedding Parties

Bachelorette Party Invites

kgd7357kgd7357 member
100 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
edited December 2013 in Pre-wedding Parties

My MOH just sent me a list of who she plans to invite to the bachelorette party and shower. The shower list is easy, since it's just my closest friends and family that will all be at the wedding. She wasn't sure about the bachelorette party list though. For background, I live in DC, my MOH and the shower are in NYC. There are 5 girls that she sent that are question marks that live in NYC that I'm pretty good friends with and often see when I visit. However, they are not invited to the DC wedding and reception. They are invited to a hometown honeymoon send off party (my mom named it that b/c I refused to let her have a "second reception") near NYC a few weeks after the wedding. Should I tell her to include them or not?

ETA: editorial

Re: Bachelorette Party Invites

  • I wouldn't invite them. A bachelorette is a pre-wedding party. If they're not invited to the wedding, it's against etiquette to them to the bachelorette. 

  • Ok. Sounds like no. I would like to see these girls that weekend though if they are free, since I'm not up all that often. Do you think it's okay to shoot them a text or something to meet up late after the official B-Party stuff is done? The planned stuff ends around 10pm, then whoever was up for it was going to go bar hopping. Or maybe see if they can do brunch the next day? Not sure if that would be weird, since other girls from the party would still likely be hanging out too. Should I just give up on seeing them for that weekend, and look forward to hopefully seeing them another time?

  • I don't know anything about your budget or wedding but if you invite them to the wedding, you can invite them to all pre-wedding parties you want. If you're close enough with them to make a concerted effort to get together when you're there, would it make sense to add them to your guest list? 

    If not, I think meeting up with them for coffee at some point would be a good compromise. It's not against etiquette to invite them to brunch, but I think it'd be kind of awkward if the brunch is a get together of everyone who was out for the bach. 

  • Hmm. Thanks @southernbelle0915. We actually have a room cap (and budget limits to some degree) and need to leave a little buffer for new SOs (already 5 new ones since STDs when out last month). Initially I thought about seeing if I could invite them if I got enough declines, but I lurked long enough to figure out that that is a big no-no. A lot of the girls are leaving early on the Sunday, and only the people with late trains/flights/local are going for brunch, so I think I'll probably do that instead.
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I don't know what we be more disappointing - meeting up with you to find out you were in town for your bachelorette party I wasn't invite to or seeing photos after the fact on FB and realizing you were in town and I didn't see you.

    That's a tough call. :(

    I'd probably not meet up with them at all, bc it would be hard explaining why you were in town. Despite etiquette rules it would be easy for them to feel like they would have wanted to be invited tot he b-party even if they weren't invited to the wedding. We all (on TK) know that's not appropriate, but they might not. Heck, they might not realize they aren't invited to the wedding yet. Sorry, I'm not all too helpful. GL!
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • @photokitty

    That is exactly the problem! I feel like they are going to realize they aren't invited when they see pictures on Facebook. It wouldn't be such an issue if it wasn't in NYC, but that is what worked for the BMs and I'm just excited that they are throwing it for me!

    I totally wish I could just replace my random cousins I haven't seen since I was 12 with these girls!
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