Wedding Woes

Friend's jealous H ruining GNO tradition

Dear Prudence,
A few days before Christmas, my closest girlfriends and I will dine out at a fancy restaurant. We are seven young women who were college classmates who now live in different cities. We keep in touch, but we rarely ever get a chance to be all together. It has taken a lot to schedule the date and we all can't wait to see each other in person. Plus, I have an important personal announcement to make, and I'm sure that I'm not the only one. However, one member of the group just announced that she will bring her husband along. She didn’t ask, she has just dropped a line to one of us saying, "He's coming.” When my friend called her and gently told her we'd rather keep it "girly," she got annoyed and said: "Either he's coming, or I'm staying home.” He could be heard in the background saying, "Tell them I'm coming, period.” He's got jealousy issues, and he rarely lets her go out on her own. She accepts this without complaint. The rest of us would really prefer he stay at home. Is there a polite way out of this, or are we forced into having him and making small talk all evening, instead of our usual hilarious chit-chat?

—Girls’ Night Out

Re: Friend's jealous H ruining GNO tradition

  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    lol I would say 'okay fine, don't come' and call her bluff. She needs to learn to stand up to her husband and tell him what's what.

  • tawillerstawillers member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2013
    Agreed with juche.  "Too bad you can't make it to our one and only Girls' Night.  We'll miss you terribly."

  • "We hope you can make it next year."

    Then I would follow up that she is ok.  Situations like this always make me worried that there is something happening behind the scenes.

    VarunaTTtmclawchick
  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    6fsn said:

    "We hope you can make it next year."

    Then I would follow up that she is ok.  Situations like this always make me worried that there is something happening behind the scenes.

    Agree. One of my coworkers has a husband like this and it makes me worried for her. I've actually driven home crying a few times because her husband freaks me out so badly.

  • 6fsn said:

    "We hope you can make it next year."

    Then I would follow up that she is ok.  Situations like this always make me worried that there is something happening behind the scenes.

    Yeah, good point. Jealous BFs and hubbies don't tend to have a turnaround for the better :(
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  • I had a b/f like this in college.  He drove me nuts!!!  He wouldn't let me go to ANY social event without him...even when it was something he wouldn't enjoy anyway.  Then, we'd get to the event...he'd sit in a chair and sulk for about one hour...and then start bugging me to go home.  I started putting parameters like 1) Don't go with me if you won't enjoy it or 2) Come with me, have fun, and understand we are not leaving until I want to leave.  I finally went with choice 3.  Dumped him!  I should have chosen that one from the beginning, lol.
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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2013
    did he write a long letter to your parents, asking if they could still be friends even though you have broken up?

    DID HE QUOTE BAUDELAIRE?
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