Ways to include children in the ceremony...

Re: Ways to include children in the ceremony...

• manateehugger member

  

  December 2013

  ddembinska said:

  I have a toddler son(3 years), plus 1 coming in March. Our wedding is November of next year. My fiance has 2 nephews, aged 3 and 5, and my Dad has 2 young children, aged 2 and 4. I wanted my sister (age 2) to be the flower girl, and my son to be the ring bearer. Only issue is that I feel like there would be some jealousy among the kiddos if they all didn't have a role. Especially because it's only the kids from my family in it. Does anybody have any ideas of how to give them all a role in the wedding? My new little man will only be a few months old at this point, so he would be fine sitting with his grandparents I'm sure. But I have 5 kiddies that I want to incorporate into my special day!
  

  5 kids under 5 sounds like a nightmare to coordinate successfully, honestly. If I were you, I'd go with no ring bearer and no flower girl and just do an awesome short photo session with the kiddos on the wedding day.
  

  

  

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• zitiqueen member

  

  December 2013

  Who gets the fun job of wrangling them during your special day?

  
  

  

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• Jen4948 Houston member

  

  December 2013 edited December 2013

  Don't try to "incorporate" kids under 3 into your wedding ceremony-not even your own or your sister.  They're not old enough to understand what is going on, plus, it is probably a very new context for them, with people and situations they just aren't familiar with and can provoke meltdowns or other undesirable behavior.  Just take pictures with them and let it go at that.
  
  And don't worry about "jealousy" among them.  That's not a good reason to include someone in your wedding party if they wouldn't otherwise be chosen. 
  
  If it were me, I just wouldn't have a flower girl or ring bearer.  You don't have to try to fit all these kids into your wedding just because they're related to you or your FI.  But if you want them, I'd just have the 3, 4, and 5 year olds as flower girls or ring bearers.
  

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• misssunshine17 member

  

  December 2013

  Don't make your wedding about including five kids. Nobody really wants to spend money on the attire and it's not like any of them will remember it.

  
  

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• CMGragain member

  

  December 2013 edited December 2013

  A wedding ceremony is conducted by the officiant, and is between two adults.  Children have no part in your wedding vows.
  The reception is different.  My daughter had a special children's dance for the kids to dance with the bride.  Everyone took photos.  There were also lots of photo ops with the bride and groom.  Just don't try to put them into your ceremony.  It is not appropriate.  Many churches would forbid it.
  

  

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• NYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member

  

  December 2013

  Our church asks that no children under five be in the ceremony.

  

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• ElcaB member

  

  December 2013

  That's a lot of toddlers! 

  
  

  I'd suggest either having multiple flower girls and ring bearers or not giving them roles at all - even if you go with the first option some may not end up walking the aisle because they're tired, ornery, or just plain don't want to! 

  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  December 2013

  I think you may be overthinking it. I would be surprised if the other kids actually get jealous at that age of not being able to walk down the isle. If they were older, I think hurt feelings is something you have to worry about, but I think you should be ok just with the two kids. Now in the case of your father's two young kids, maybe you can ask the older one to help hand out bubbles (or whatever you might be doing) prior to the ceremony to make them feel a part of your day. Those two are the only ones I think you have to worry about.

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  February 2014

  I agree with what PPs have said - it's likely to be very complicated to coordinate that many kids and would probably be a great idea to have ways of incorporating them in the celebration during the reception. Some ideas (that others have posted and others):

  - Dancing

  - Playing songs from their favourite movie (went to a wedding where the bride and groom played the theme song from madagascar and the kids went NUTS, they loved it!)

  - Photo shoot or some kind of kids Photo Booth (even just props for them to use during pictures or costumes; kids love costumes and imagination-play)

  - Special gift for them at their seat (my six year old cousin LOVES lego so we're buying him a special "spaceship" lego thing that will keep him happily occupied during dinner)

  
  

  If you really want them to include them in the ceremony, they could really all just walk down the aisle (maybe girls holding a mini basket with a few flowers/flower petals if you think they need something in their hands) and go sit with their parents/grandparents. No need for a special job, they're so little they probably won't even know what it is anyway. And if you have five under five walking down the aisle, they probably shouldn't all walk down together or there will likely be some pushing. 

  
  

  Alternatively, they could walk with an adult - your son with your MOH, your two nephews with another bridesmaid, and your young siblings with another bridesmaid. Not sure that would work, but it's an idea.

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