Wedding traditions

megan8305 · December 2013

What regular wrdding tradtions are you keeping and what ones are you getting rid of; ie cake cutting, flower/garter toss? Also is there anyting specail you will be adding?

misssunshine17 · December 2013

We did cake cutting, but didn't make a big deal of it. We thought it was silly. I cut the top not realizing we weren't 'supposed' to. I wasn't going to eat year old cake anyway- gross.

We did spotlight dances but no garter/bouquet toss.

These things are completely up to you, but you should also be thinking of the comfort of your guests. No one wants to see you new H up your dress for five minutes or be badgered to go on the floor for the bouquet toss.

chibiyui · December 2013

We're planning on a cake cutting, the tosses (open to everyone/no creepy putting the garter on/no FI going up my dress)

We're thinking about doing the wedding cup as well, since we're both German, but we are undecided on that.

doeydo · December 2013

We're going to do the first dance, and I think we will probably dance with our moms next, the cake cutting, bouquet and garter toss, and I am not sure what else. I will not single out all the single ladies though or have my fiance taking the garter off with his teeth or anything else that no one wants to see.

JCbride2015 · December 2013

We're doing the first dance, cake cutting, bouquet and garter tosses but no taking the garter off/ putting it on. I'm not sure about first dances with mom and dad. Fi really wants to do it; my dad isn't really into wedding stuff and hasn't mentioned it to me, so we'll see how that goes.

Friends are usually surprised to hear we aren't writing our own vows. I like the romance and tradition that so many couples have said the same vows before us. We're taking out the obeying part though.

megan8305 · December 2013

misssunshine17 said:
We did cake cutting, but didn't make a big deal of it. We thought it was silly. I cut the top not realizing we weren't 'supposed' to. I wasn't going to eat year old cake anyway- gross.
We did spotlight dances but no garter/bouquet toss.

These things are completely up to you, but you should also be thinking of the comfort of your guests. No one wants to see you new H up your dress for five minutes or be badgered to go on the floor for the bouquet toss.

Im just getting ideas, FI and i went to his cousions wedding last week and they only did the dances and cake cutting.

Also i like to hear of things that you don't always see like wedding cup that chibiyui stated.

JCbride2015 · December 2013

How about unity candle vs. sand vs. something else/ nothing? We are designing our own ceremony so anything goes. Fi is Catholic but hasn't been to a Catholic wedding in ages-- they usually do unity candles, right? That might be sweet.

emmyg65 · December 2013

We cut the cake because we had to serve it to all our guests and did a first dance just to open up the dance floor. No bouquet toss or garter toss or parent dances or toasts.

We had a Quaker ceremony, so we had those traditions, like signing to Quaker marriage certificate, which my friend then read aloud and all our guests signed after. That was my favorite tradition. We used the traditional vows.

Also, my dad and his brothers played music for our prelude, which they also did at my parents' wedding (my husband and I walked down the aisle together). I guess that's a family tradition.

I think unity ceremonies are newfangled and a little silly, since the whole wedding thing is a big unity ceremony. But whatever floats your boat.

HisGirlFriday13 · December 2013

JCBride2014 said:
How about unity candle vs. sand vs. something else/ nothing? We are designing our own ceremony so anything goes. Fi is Catholic but hasn't been to a Catholic wedding in ages-- they usually do unity candles, right? That might be sweet.

Nope. Unity candles originated on a soap opera. They aren't Catholic -- they aren't even technically Christian -- and a lot of priests won't allow them because they aren't sacred in origin.

jdluvr06 · December 2013

We're doing the cake cutting and the first dance. We were going write our own vows but decided against it. We're not doing anything extra during the ceremony. Just the vows, I dos, and the kiss.

JCbride2015 · December 2013

HisGirlFriday13 said:

How about unity candle vs. sand vs. something else/ nothing? We are designing our own ceremony so anything goes. Fi is Catholic but hasn't been to a Catholic wedding in ages-- they usually do unity candles, right? That might be sweet.
Nope. Unity candles originated on a soap opera. They aren't Catholic -- they aren't even technically Christian -- and a lot of priests won't allow them because they aren't sacred in origin.

Hmm, good to know. Anything really goes for us then. We might still do it because Fi loves fire, I think he's a closet pyromaniac.

lyndausvi · December 2013

We had the cake cutting, first dance, mom/son and daughter/father dances. No tosses of any kind.

megan8305 · December 2013

How about receiving lines? I dont see those alot but think its a great way to thank all your guest or a dollar dance.

bethsmiles · December 2013

megan8305 said:

How about receiving lines? I dont see those alot but think its a great way to thank all your guest or a dollar dance.

Dollar dances are tacky and rude.

ElcaB · December 2013

We're keeping the cake cutting, but are using a very small cake for ceremonial purposes and serving a plated dessert trio instead. We're also sticking with the "something old, etc.", and will do an non-humiliating twist on the bouquet/garter toss (i.e., attaching lottery tickets and having everyone, not just the singles, participate or something like that).

We're nixing the father/daughter dance (I love my dad, but I've never loved the tradition) and the unity candle.

megan8305 · December 2013

bethsmiles said:

megan8305 said:

How about receiving lines? I dont see those alot but think its a great way to thank all your guest or a dollar dance.

Dollar dances are tacky and rude.

Sorry,was just asking if anyone had done them or planed to do them.

Kohl95 · December 2013

We're not doing anything truly traditional really.. Just the cake cutting because it has to get done, but it isn't going to be a "cake cutting ceremony" per se..

JCbride2015 · December 2013

Fi really wants the dollar dance (Italian and Polish family) but I put my foot down on that one. I think it's horribly tacky.

He says I might just randomly be dancing and his family will start coming up and sticking dollars in my dress. O_o

CLI242009 · December 2013

Keeping/Doing:

- B & G not seeing each other starting the night before (when the rehearsal dinner ends)
- Something new, blue, borrowed & old
- father walking me down the aisle and giving me away
- cake cutting
- father/daughter dance
- mother/son dance
- first dance

Not doing:
- dollar dance
- receiving line
- garter/bouquet toss
- any cliche dance/song combos like chicken dance, YMCA, etc.

Adding:
- lei exchange ceremony as we say our personal vows
- my father will be giving me a lei before i walk down the aisle
- instead of a guestbook we are doing a picture with a mat around it that everyone can sign. we can then frame it for later.

nsweare · December 2013

HisGirlFriday13 said:

JCBride2014 said:
How about unity candle vs. sand vs. something else/ nothing? We are designing our own ceremony so anything goes. Fi is Catholic but hasn't been to a Catholic wedding in ages-- they usually do unity candles, right? That might be sweet.
Nope. Unity candles originated on a soap opera. They aren't Catholic -- they aren't even technically Christian -- and a lot of priests won't allow them because they aren't sacred in origin.

Every catholic wedding I have been to has done a unity candle. And that's just about every wedding I've been to. If you're getting married in the church and you want a unity candle, talk to your priest and see what he says.

EverAfer · December 2013

We're doing a dessert buffet instead of cake-so probably no cake cutting (to be finalized).

Instead of the garter thing, our dj suggested that I have a box of random fun stuff underneath a chair that the groom will pull out from under my dress-no going up my dress. I oppose flower toss, so will have to figure that out. First dance only since dad hasn't been 100% healthwise and neither set of parents are really into it. Plus, I'd rather our guests get to dinner.

We'll skip a receiving line at ceremony but will go table to table to greet guests.
Our dog might participate since the venue is pet-friendly and the whole family will be there anyway.

HisGirlFriday13 · December 2013

nsweare said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

JCBride2014 said:
How about unity candle vs. sand vs. something else/ nothing? We are designing our own ceremony so anything goes. Fi is Catholic but hasn't been to a Catholic wedding in ages-- they usually do unity candles, right? That might be sweet.
Nope. Unity candles originated on a soap opera. They aren't Catholic -- they aren't even technically Christian -- and a lot of priests won't allow them because they aren't sacred in origin.
Every catholic wedding I have been to has done a unity candle. And that's just about every wedding I've been to. If you're getting married in the church and you want a unity candle, talk to your priest and see what he says.

I didn't say you couldn't ask; I said a lot of priests won't say yes. We didn't want to (I think they're tacky and stupid, but that's just my opinion), and our priest said, 'Oh, thank God, I don't have to say no to you. I won't allow them.'

Whether people do them or not doesn't make them liturgically correct or necessary or proper. Yes, people do them, and yes, they're very popular, but that still doesn't make them part of the actual Liturgy of the Catholic Mass.

ETA: Fix typo

doeydo · December 2013

Since FI and I plan on having a smaller guest list, we probably won't do a receiving line, but we will make sure to go around to each of the tables to talk to the people and thank them for coming.

kerbohl · December 2013

I'm having a weird wedding, but I've got some traditions that I'm keeping.
My wedding colours are blue and white, so I guess that is the "blue" tradition. And I've borrowed a lot of stuff including my veil, and have a necklace that is old, but I didn't work to get these traditions included - they just sort of happened.
We will cut the cake, but with a sword that my FI gave me when he proposed.
We will have a mutual garter toss, since I don't have a bouquet (nixing that tradition), and FI will be wearing a medieval outfit (complete with a garter on his leg). It will not be reduced to just single people, and whoever catches them gets a gift card.
We aren't doing a first dance, but we are going to do a sword fight, which is a dance of sorts?
My parents are both walking me down the aisle.
No seeing the groom until we meet at the altar at the church.
No bridesmaid bouquets.
No receiving line.
No unity ceremony included.
I think that is it for traditions . . . I'm sure I'm missing something that I am or am not doing.

silver0319 · December 2013

I wanted to have both parents walk me down the aisle, but my dad seemed a little upset that I wanted to include my mom. My parents have been married for 40+ years so it's not like they don't get along, but I guess my dad just always envisioned it just being the two of us.

We're doing spotlight dances and cake cutting, but no bouquet or garter toss. We plan on doing an anniversary dance and giving the winning couple the toss bouquet (and possibly a gift certificate to our favorite restaurant).

We won't do a receiving line, but will do table visits instead. Our Best Man (FI's brother) hasn't decided if he'll give a speech, as he's pretty shy and a man of few words. I'm sure my sister/MOH will have PLENTY to say.

hellohkb · December 2013

The only tradition we will keep is probably the receiving line and the cake cutting. The first dance and father/daughter dance are also up for debate.

We definitely won't be doing speeches or tosses of any kind.

theninjapanda · December 2013

My fiance is Korean, and one tradition that they have is for the bride to present the MIL with a gift. So it maybe a little cheesy, but I am giving her a picture frame with us in it that says in Korean, "thank you for raising the man of my dreams."

KytchynWitche · December 2013

I think the only tradition we're doing is the cake-cutting. There will be no smooshing. We will not be putting frosting up each other's noses.

Not doing dances, or the bouquet/garter toss (I'm not having a bouquet or a garter). I'm walking down the aisle by myself, because I can't count on my dad to be there and I can't ask anyone else without raising a whole bunch of questions I don't want to get into with my family. Not doing a receiving line.

We're probably going to write our own vows, but we almost certainly won't have any sort of unity thing.

We're also only doing two toasts/speeches - the BM to us, and me to the guests (because FI is shy and doesn't like speaking in front of people).

We're aiming to have the ceremony be 30 minutes or less, all in, and the reception is literally just lunch, the two speeches, the cake cutting, and us heading off for our two-day honeymoon.

lovesclimbing · December 2013

misssunshine17 said:

We did cake cutting, but didn't make a big deal of it. We thought it was silly. I cut the top not realizing we weren't 'supposed' to. I wasn't going to eat year old cake anyway- gross.
We did spotlight dances but no garter/bouquet toss.

These things are completely up to you, but you should also be thinking of the comfort of your guests. No one wants to see you new H up your dress for five minutes or be badgered to go on the floor for the bouquet toss.

I can't remember when H and I ate our cake. We either started eating it right after we got back from our honeymoon or we started eating it on our one month anniversary. Either way, we didn't want to eat year-old cake or have it take up space in our too-small freezer for a year.

We did the garter/bouquet toss (No teeth, no pictures or forced dancing or sliding the garter on the bouquet catchers leg, no forcing people up) and cake cutting. No unity stuff because we both thought it was kind of cheesy. No dancing (sadly, I really wanted to, but the church wouldn't allow it). We did a receiving line. No something old, new, borrowed, blue. No veil. We did a first look.

GrrArgh · December 2013

CLI242009 said:

Keeping/Doing:

- B & G not seeing each other starting the night before (when the rehearsal dinner ends)
- Something new, blue, borrowed & old
- father walking me down the aisle and giving me away
- cake cutting
- father/daughter dance
- mother/son dance
- first dance

Not doing:
- dollar dance
- receiving line
- garter/bouquet toss
- any cliche dance/song combos like chicken dance, YMCA, etc.

Adding:
- lei exchange ceremony as we say our personal vows
- my father will be giving me a lei before i walk down the aisle
- instead of a guestbook we are doing a picture with a mat around it that everyone can sign. we can then frame it for later.

Funny story... true story. My mom while dancing to the YMCA at my sister's reception turned wrong and torn the tendon clean off her hip bone, had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital. We wont be having any "group" dances per say.. we are going to poke fun at my mom though. The plan right now is to have someone bring a chair to the middle of the dance floor, the DJ request my mom to come sit in it. Then him to tell her she is allowed under no circumstances to get out of the chair until the end of the next song. Then play the YMCA for everyone to dance around her ;-) My mom is a good sport, and will laugh her head off the whole time.

No bouquet or garter toss, probably no speeches unless my sister has a few too many, no receiving line we will however being doing no seeing prior the day of, first dance, father/daughter dance (no mother/son due to personal preferences) and cake cutting. I'm sure their are more dos and don't I just don't remember right now.

CLI242009 · December 2013

GrrArgh said:

CLI242009 said:

Keeping/Doing:

- B & G not seeing each other starting the night before (when the rehearsal dinner ends)
- Something new, blue, borrowed & old
- father walking me down the aisle and giving me away
- cake cutting
- father/daughter dance
- mother/son dance
- first dance

Not doing:
- dollar dance
- receiving line
- garter/bouquet toss
- any cliche dance/song combos like chicken dance, YMCA, etc.

Adding:
- lei exchange ceremony as we say our personal vows
- my father will be giving me a lei before i walk down the aisle
- instead of a guestbook we are doing a picture with a mat around it that everyone can sign. we can then frame it for later.

Funny story... true story. My mom while dancing to the YMCA at my sister's reception turned wrong and torn the tendon clean off her hip bone, had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital. We wont be having any "group" dances per say.. we are going to poke fun at my mom though. The plan right now is to have someone bring a chair to the middle of the dance floor, the DJ request my mom to come sit in it. Then him to tell her she is allowed under no circumstances to get out of the chair until the end of the next song. Then play the YMCA for everyone to dance around her ;-) My mom is a good sport, and will laugh her head off the whole time.

No bouquet or garter toss, probably no speeches unless my sister has a few too many, no receiving line we will however being doing no seeing prior the day of, first dance, father/daughter dance (no mother/son due to personal preferences) and cake cutting. I'm sure their are more dos and don't I just don't remember right now.

Aww to me that is really really sweet and if everyone is on the joke/memory I could see it being a blast! It's great that your mom is such a good sport

I really hope you get some good pictures (and if you have a videographer) capture the moment perfectly!

I also didn't realize we were doing every little detail o.O

Doing/Keeping:

- Best Man, MoH and both Fathers speeches
- going around and saying thank you to the guests

Not Doing:
- unity candle/sand (the lei exchange, which is a tradition in my family is what we are doing instead of unity)

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