Wedding Reception Forum

We eloped...now what!?

My then fiance and I eloped for personal reasons but still want to celebrate with our family. Keeping in mind they are all fine if not excited about what we did. I really don't want a ceremony with a lot of people and would rather have a celebratory reception. Problem is...one of my bridesmaids already bought a dress. My question is...can she wear the dress to the "reception"..do the other bridesmaids need dresses as well...I really wanted it to be fun and semi casual. ..but now I'm lost.

Help please! I want to make our wedding party feel included even though its not really needed.

Re: We eloped...now what!?

  • Look, if you eloped, you are already married.  It's too late for a "wedding reception."

    You can still have a celebration, but it would not be appropriate to have a wedding party or anything really "weddingy" like a cake, gifts, first dance, first kiss, etc.  That boat has sailed.
  • Hence why I called it a celebratory reception not wedding reception hun.

    We aren't going to fool people as if we are not married...they know...we just want to include the people we love.

    Our elopement was our ideal wedding so feel free to judge it. It's your right.

    I would appreciate ideas and not anyone's convictions for or against eloping.
  • My then fiance and I eloped for personal reasons but still want to celebrate with our family. Keeping in mind they are all fine if not excited about what we did. I really don't want a ceremony with a lot of people and would rather have a celebratory reception. Problem is...one of my bridesmaids already bought a dress. My question is...can she wear the dress to the "reception"..do the other bridesmaids need dresses as well...I really wanted it to be fun and semi casual. ..but now I'm lost. Help please! I want to make our wedding party feel included even though its not really needed.
    It's a good thing you don't really want a ceremony, because that would be inappropriate.  Many people have an "at home reception" following a destination wedding or elopement.

    Why did one of your BM's buy a dress?  If she did so not knowing you planned on eloping, I think it only fair that you reimburse her for the cost of that dress.  Other BM's do not need dresses because there is no longer a need for a wedding party.  There is no need to "include" them because there is no need for them.  You made the choice to elope.  If you are only trying to include them to justify the expense your one BM incurred, it won't change anything.
  • Throw a party. No wedding cake, bridal party, wedding dress wearing etc....

     

  • Congrats, you are married!  Have a party to celebrate your marriage.  Skip bridesmaids.  I have absolutely nothing against eloping and am happy that you did something that made you and your now H happy and your family is cool with it (I think mine would have flipped).  But when you elope, you don't get to do certain things that can be part of the big wedding ceremony and reception, and having a wedding party is one of those things.  I have always thought it is kind of weird to select some of your friends to honor more than your regular guests (and didn't have a wedding party myself), and I just think it would be super weird when it's not your wedding to do that.  

    If one of your friends already bought a specific dress, it's fine for her to wear it (or wear whatever she wants).  If you had asked her to buy the dress because you were originally planning to have a larger wedding instead of eloping, I do think you should consider reimbursing her.  
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2014

    My then fiance and I eloped for personal reasons but still want to celebrate with our family. Keeping in mind they are all fine if not excited about what we did. I really don't want a ceremony with a lot of people and would rather have a celebratory reception. Problem is...one of my bridesmaids already bought a dress. My question is...can she wear the dress to the "reception"..do the other bridesmaids need dresses as well...I really wanted it to be fun and semi casual. ..but now I'm lost. Help please! I want to make our wedding party feel included even though its not really needed.
    You chose to elope.  That's fine.  But by doing so, you gave up the "traditional" wedding things, including bridal parties.  You should not be having any bridesmaids.  Your wedding already happened.
  • You no longer have bridesmaids because the wedding is over.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Elopements do not have bridesmaids.  When you eloped, you gave that up.  You do not have any bridesmaids.  You might want to think about reimbursing your girls for the money they spent on their dresses.  It really isn't very nice to stick them with paying for dresses that they cannot use.
    You can have a party anytime you want, but you cannot have a wedding reception, or anything like one.
    Elopements are a tradition in my family.  Some long and happy marriages have resulted from elopements.  Congratulations on your marriage.
    If it hasn't been too long since your marriage, you might want to send out marriage announcements to friends and family.  They are very simple.

    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    announce their marriage
    Date
    City, State
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • OP - throw an awesome party that doesn't look like a reception to celebrate with your loved ones.

    Question for you on your friend and her dress:  did she buy a BM dress because you had picked on out and had originally planned on a wedding with a wedding party?  If so, you need to reimburse her for a dress she bought for your wedding hwen you changed the plans on her.

    If she went out and bought the dress on her own (which is kind of wierd) then you don't need to reimburse her but she shouldn't be waltzing around your party dressed like a BM.

    Can you clarify for us why she has this dress in the first place?

  • If the dress your BM got fits the venue that you will have your celebration at, I don't see why she can't wear it. If she doesn't feel comfortable doing that, I would see if the store she bought at will take it back (assuming she didn't have alterations done yet) even if it's for a store credit. Maybe she can find a nice black dress that she could use as a great 'little black dress" for going out & future receptions she may be invited to. Else she can try to sell it on E-bay, I got 3 out of 4 of my girls dresses on ebay.

    Have fun with your celebration and good for you for doing things in a way that fits for you and your new hubby. By the way congratulations on your marriage.

  • Wedding parties are inappropriate at non-wedding events.  Your would-be BMs may be disappointed about the elopement, but that doesn't mean they should dress up and act like BMs at a celebration party.  

    If this BM bought a dress that you asked her to buy and wear as a BM, you should reimburse her for the costs, but you can take the dress and try to sell it.  You should also reimburse anyone else for any costs they may have lost when you changed plans to elope.  If she just bought a dress, that's on her.  As long as it fits the venue, there's no reason she can't wear a dress she bought.  
  • I guess the question is what kind of dress are we talking about? Will she look ridiculously out of place in it (i.e will she LOOK like a bridesmaid in it?) or is it just a fancy dress?


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • You are no longer a bride. Therefore, you should not be having bridesmaids. You already had a wedding - that's what your elopement was. That ship has sailed. By all means, have a celebration. But no wedding dress, no BMs, etc. 
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