this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

NWR: Hon. vs. The Hon.

fionahalliwellfionahalliwell member
100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
This is just a quick question. Which is correct? Note that we're not using Mr. and Mrs. titles (this is a thank-you list, not an invite), but we're including "honorable" titles because it's a civic event. 

Jane and Hon. Joe Smith
Jane and The Hon. Joe Smith 

Thank you! 
Report Reply to Post

Re: NWR: Hon. vs. The Hon.

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Use the "The," according to Crane's. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • fionahalliwellfionahalliwell member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Perfect. Thank you! 
    Report Reply
  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    If you are using "Honorable" you must use other courtesy titles, at least for people included on the same correspondence. To do otherwise is to signal to Jane that she is not worthy of courtesy.
    Report Reply
  • fionahalliwellfionahalliwell member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I see your point, @starmoon44, but this is an acknowledgement list and we're only addressing city council members (and former council members) with "honorable." If this were an invite, I would of course use all titles, but it isn't, and it isn't really a formal piece of correspondence. But, again, I totally get the point. 
    Report Reply
  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    Also, you put the highest title first.  So "The Honorable and Mrs. John Doe" or "The Honorable Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe" if the woman gets the title.  (http://blog.crane.com/2012/02/03/wedding-etiquette-how-to-address-your-envelopes/)
    Report Reply
  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    Sorry, I have no input. I just stopped by because I saw "Hon" and assumes this was a Baltimore question.
    Report Reply
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Do you think he'll be very happy to see mail with a title only to see that his wife doesn't get recognized with one?  
    Report Reply
  • fionahalliwellfionahalliwell member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Guys, I totally get it, but once again, this is not an invitation. If these were invitations, of course everyone would be named by title. But this is an acknowledgement list for a civic event and we have city council members who donated alongside non-council members. It's not a very formal thing, so the only ones getting titles are the council members, and that's just to represent that they have that distinction. 

    My hope is that this is one of those occasions where it's ok to single out the distinguished community members. I'm never going to convince anyone to do the Mr. and Mrs. thing for this, and taking out the titles will only offend some of them. It's a catch 22. 
    Report Reply
  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I would think for a civic event concerning donations, you would most definitely use titles for everyone. Even in polite conversation, people should be granted titles. Are you saying people would seriously object to Mrs. Jane???
    image
    Report Reply
  • fionahalliwellfionahalliwell member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Not people, but this committee I'm working with. *sigh* I'm just the proofreader and I was asked to make sure everyone who wanted to be "honorable" got it. I came here to double-check. I totally didn't expect to open a can of worms. 
    Report Reply
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    At a civic event, would you refer to these people as The Honorable Joseph Smith and Jane Smith?   It makes very little sense to me. 
    Report Reply
  • fionahalliwellfionahalliwell member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I get it. I'm looking at similar older docs and they basically did the same thing. "Honorable" gets thrown around often in these parts; all current and former council members and current and former board of education members are "honorable." 

    I guess it's not what I would do, but I'm not sure I'm going to convince anyone that we need to change it. :/ I even just mentioned it to my mom and she said, "We're never going to get that done at this point." So I guess we'll be in breach of etiquette. Not my choice (I'd prefer to be appropriate), but whatever. 
    Report Reply
  • BMoreBride6BMoreBride6 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Blue_Bird said:
    Sorry, I have no input. I just stopped by because I saw "Hon" and assumes this was a Baltimore question.
    hahaha me too
    Report Reply
  • nextrightthingnextrightthing member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    The Honorable.  I would be surprised if the powers that be would have a problem with The Honorable Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith.  I'm a lawyer, so we use The Honorable a lot in all sorts of correspondence.  We also always use Ms. and Mr.  Just saying. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • fionahalliwellfionahalliwell member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    No, I know. I keep going through other things from similar events--only the city council/school board/former council and board get titles ever. For example: 

    Special Thanks:
    Jane Doe
    John Smith
    Hon. Sam Jones 

    I had to make a point of adding "the" prior to Sam Jones. :/ That was already a big deal. I'm not sure anyone ever sat down and looked at it from an etiquette perspective. I think it's always been more of a question of "denote the VIP" than "what's the appropriate title for this person?" 
    Report Reply
  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    nextrightthing said:
    The Honorable.  I would be surprised if the powers that be would have a problem with The Honorable Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith.  I'm a lawyer, so we use The Honorable a lot in all sorts of correspondence.  We also always use Ms. and Mr.  Just saying. 
    "The Honorable" is the title.  You don't use "Ms." as well.  I linked to Crane's earlier in this thread, you might want to check it out.

    @fionahalliwell, I was imagining that you were listing couples where only one person was given a title.  If it's just a list like you have in your most recent post, I don't think it's quite as bad, although still not ideal. 
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards