Etiquette

Officiant is a vendor- etiquette on food?

Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln.
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We've decided to hire an officiant for our wedding. She is not a minister or a priest, but does lovely, personalized ceremonies. I've met with her and like her immensely, and apparently after meeting with my FI and I, we've become her "gold standard" on brides and grooms (laid back/not a high strung bridezilla, polite, etiquette conscious, plus when we all met at a coffee shop, FI bought her drink without any word from me or her- he's just that kind of gentleman). I'm having a minor issue, but it needs to be addressed.

Our DJ and photographer are being provided with a meal during the luncheon reception. Should we offer to have the officiant at the reception and feed her with the other guests? She is a vendor, but all I have to go on are my siblings weddings- sister was married by a priest who was at the RD, don't know about reception. Brother was married by a friend of both his and SIL's, and was at RD and reception. Thoughts?

Re: Officiant is a vendor- etiquette on food?

  • I'm not sure on the etiquette, but I think it would be lovely to invite her to stay for the reception.  She's an adult - she can decline if she's not comfortable staying or has somewhere else to be.
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario
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    You don't have to invite her to the reception if she is not your regular priest, for example, and is just a hired vendor. 
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  • I invited our officient and he declined. Chances are, she will decline. If she chooses to come, it's really one extra person to feed anway. I'd error on the side of caution and invite her
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    It's appropriate to invite your officiant along with their SO, but they often do decline.
  • phiraphira Bahstin
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    It's entirely appropriate to invite your officiant to the reception (along with their SO if they have one). It sounds like she's a professional officiant, so that means that she very likely already has an answer for you if you ask her if she usually attends receptions. For example, this celebrant in New Jersey has a FAQ where she says it's always an honor to be invited to the reception, but it's not an obligation. She also says that she does not attend rehearsal dinners or receptions, but frequently will stay after the ceremony through the cocktail hour.
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  • kitty8403kitty8403
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    edited January 2014
    I think it depends partly on your circle.
    I bumped into a local officiant (fully qualified and quite popular) the other day who doesn't charge for the ceremony but requests gas for out of town events and being asked to stay for the meal as part of his "fee."
  • I would invite the officiant and her SO.  If she accepts, seat her/them with your guests at a regular table (which I would not do for the DJ and photographer that are working during the reception).

  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs
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    I think if she's a hired officiant, not a priest or minister, but a JOP or equivalent, you don't technically have to invite her. However, I think it's a nice thing to do.  I asked our JOP is she wanted to come to the reception, and she declined, but said she may stay for a glass of wine after the ceremony. Fine by me!
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  • I would invite her. If you get on well with her, it's a nice gesture.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • We invited our officiant.  She said she never stays for the meal, but she would be happy to stay for cocktail hour.  Our venue didn't charge us anything to have her stay for cocktail hour and partake.  I think it's nice to invite her to stay with your other vendors.  
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