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Inviting Groom's Parents but not the Bride's

heimlichsgettinhitchedheimlichsgettinhitched member
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in Moms and Maids
For my entire life, my mother has made it clear to me that she will pay for whatever wedding I want, without ANY strings attached. She has always been passionate about this, since her mother had a lot of strings attached for my mother's wedding. 

Aside from that, my family and I do not have a strong relationship. They are very controlling.

I got engaged recently to the love of my life. So I asked my parents if they could give me a budget, so I could start planning. I have been working recently on not being controlled by my family, so I told them if they gave us money, it would be with the understanding that they may not have a say in the planning.

My parents said that they would give me 10,000. They are willing to give me more than that if they have a say in the guest list. I want it really small, so I was not planning on inviting my mother's large family. 

I feel really betrayed, since suddenly there are strings. How do I invite my fiance's parents but not my own to my wedding?
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Re: Inviting Groom's Parents but not the Bride's

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2014
    image

    There has to be more to this story. You sound like an incredibly selfish, entitled brat. Your parents are being very generous. They don't have to give you a damn thing but are giving you $10,000 with no strings attached. For a more they want some say in the guest list. If you don't want them to have a say, decline taking any more money from them.


    Personally, I think you should show your parents what you have posted here and then see if they are willing to still give you $10,000 or if they will be so embarrassed and hurt by you that they decide not to give you anything.

    Look around these boards a bit and see how demanding other parents can be and then re-evaluate how betrayed you feel. You need a serious attitude adjustment.


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  • buttercup1958buttercup1958
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    elyaimone said:
    For my entire life, my mother has made it clear to me that she will pay for whatever wedding I want, without ANY strings attached. She has always been passionate about this, since her mother had a lot of strings attached for my mother's wedding. 

    Aside from that, my family and I do not have a strong relationship. They are very controlling.

    I got engaged recently to the love of my life. So I asked my parents if they could give me a budget, so I could start planning. I have been working recently on not being controlled by my family, so I told them if they gave us money, it would be with the understanding that they may not have a say in the planning.

    My parents said that they would give me 10,000. They are willing to give me more than that if they have a say in the guest list. I want it really small, so I was not planning on inviting my mother's large family. 

    I feel really betrayed, since suddenly there are strings. How do I invite my fiance's parents but not my own to my wedding?
    i see a dd coming
    image
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2014
    elyaimone said:
    For my entire life, my mother has made it clear to me that she will pay for whatever wedding I want, without ANY strings attached. She has always been passionate about this, since her mother had a lot of strings attached for my mother's wedding. 

    Aside from that, my family and I do not have a strong relationship. They are very controlling.

    I got engaged recently to the love of my life. So I asked my parents if they could give me a budget, so I could start planning. I have been working recently on not being controlled by my family, so I told them if they gave us money, it would be with the understanding that they may not have a say in the planning.

    My parents said that they would give me 10,000. They are willing to give me more than that if they have a say in the guest list. I want it really small, so I was not planning on inviting my mother's large family. 

    I feel really betrayed, since suddenly there are strings. How do I invite my fiance's parents but not my own to my wedding?
    If you want a small wedding, that's fine. If your parents are willing to give you 10K no strings attached, what are you complaining about? You should be able to have your small wedding with this amount of money. If you want more money, you have to allow your parents to invite the people they want. It is not that hard. I really don't know why you are so angry, so what if she said in the past you can have whatever you want. You can, but you only get 10K. This is mind boggling, do you know how many people would be ecstatic to get that much money from their parents, strings or no strings?

    ETA; And the fact that you are thinking of not even inviting your parents! What!  I hope you misspoke, and meant families, not parents.
    image
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  • KittyKaty20KittyKaty20 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    This is a joke, right? It makes ZERO sense what you've typed.
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
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    I...can't...even.

    No words.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • gothic_fairy60gothic_fairy60 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I agree. TROLL!
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  • CLI242009CLI242009 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Answer Name Dropper
    elyaimone said:
    For my entire life, my mother has made it clear to me that she will pay for whatever wedding I want, without ANY strings attached. She has always been passionate about this, since her mother had a lot of strings attached for my mother's wedding. 

    Aside from that, my family and I do not have a strong relationship. They are very controlling.

    I got engaged recently to the love of my life. So I asked my parents if they could give me a budget, so I could start planning. I have been working recently on not being controlled by my family, so I told them if they gave us money, it would be with the understanding that they may not have a say in the planning.

    My parents said that they would give me 10,000. They are willing to give me more than that if they have a say in the guest list. I want it really small, so I was not planning on inviting my mother's large family. 

    I feel really betrayed, since suddenly there are strings. How do I invite my fiance's parents but not my own to my wedding?
    1) if they are controlling why the hell did you take the money in the first place? I have a very controlling mother and I don't care what she has promised me....she's done it enough times to where I know her word is crap. So to me this is your own fault. You dug your own grave with that one.

    2) To the first bold. They are giving you 10k with no strings attached. They would give you more IF you allow them to have a say about the guest list. Ummm easy...if the 10k is no strings then stick with the 10k only, duh?

    3) 2nd bold. WHY do you feel betrayed? Unless you said yes to more money technically there are no strings attached yet. So that doesn't make any sense.

    4) What you said about your mom paying for your wedding, no matter what...um how old are you? seriously if you are old enough to get married then you're old enough to know that things change. Financial situations change, for everyone. Especially in today's economy.



    @HisGirl and Addie - LMAO @ your responses. Thank you for the laughs ladies.

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  • CLI242009CLI242009 member
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    tell them you need at LEAST 50K if you want to have a nice wedding. i mean 10K sounds like they don't even love you.

    *stuck in the box*

    It's 7am right now and I just read your comment and it took me a moment, after I finished reading (and seeing all the love its) to realize you were being sarcastic haha.
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    elyaimone said:
    For my entire life, my mother has made it clear to me that she will pay for whatever wedding I want, without ANY strings attached. She has always been passionate about this, since her mother had a lot of strings attached for my mother's wedding. 

    Aside from that, my family and I do not have a strong relationship. They are very controlling.

    I got engaged recently to the love of my life. So I asked my parents if they could give me a budget, so I could start planning. I have been working recently on not being controlled by my family, so I told them if they gave us money, it would be with the understanding that they may not have a say in the planning.

    My parents said that they would give me 10,000. They are willing to give me more than that if they have a say in the guest list. I want it really small, so I was not planning on inviting my mother's large family. 

    I feel really betrayed, since suddenly there are strings. How do I invite my fiance's parents but not my own to my wedding?
    There is a lot that just doesn't make sense to me.  Some of it may be that you aren't really dealing in reality.  You say your parents are controlling, yet you expected them to give you a significant gift of money for your wedding with no strings attached?  Did they suddenly start to become less controlling when you got engaged?

    You say you have been working recently on not being controlled by your parents, and yet you want to accept money from them- how is that going to work exactly?

    You are upset that your parents would give you more money if they had a say in the guest list- which is understandable on their part- yet you claim you want to keep the wedding small anyways. .  so why isn't 10 grand enough for you to have this wedding?

    You don't want to invite any of your Mom's family to your wedding, and now you don't even want to invite your own parents to your wedding. . . but you want to take their money?
    image

    If you haven't and are not a troll ten you have the following 2 options:

    1. Pay for your own damn wedding.
    2. Elope.



    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • mimiphinmimiphin member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Ok... So why are you not inviting your parents, because they are only giving you $10,000. They will give more if you want\need but  they would like to have some say in the guest list?

    I just don't get it, my whole budget is max $10,000.

    CN. Just so I make sure I understand, They are going to be paying $10,000 and not even get an invite, because you are mad at them for not giving you more.

    Grow up, suck it up and invite your damn parents!

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