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Wedding 911

I need a solution and ideas! Help please.

My fiance and I have always wanted a fall wedding and a destination wedding. We have found a place in Maine where we would love to get married at with only close family with us and then have a celebration with family and friends back home. The problems are that not everyone might be able to afford traveling to Maine and my 5 year old niece is starting kindergarten and cannot be away from school for the time that I would like her to be. My family wants me to change the location and season that my fiance want to get married at. What should I do? Anyone have any suggestions?

Re: I need a solution and ideas! Help please.

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    You really should post this on one of the "real" boards. You are not likely to get many responses here as many people don't even know this board exists. Who is paying for your wedding? That's the first piece of info we need to answer your question.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • If your family is paying, you have to have the wedding where they want it I think. 

    If you and your FI are paying, then you need to make the decision on whether having the wedding you want or having family at your wedding is the bigger priority. There's not a "wrong" choice there, but it's only one you and your FI can make for yourselves. 


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  • Agree with everything PPs said. Are you trying to have your wedding during leaf peeking season? That might make it a challenge for traveling people to get cheaper rooms. But is probably still cheaper then an OOC wedding.

    Who's paying? Can you do it during one of the fall holidays or when kids off at school? I know my nieces and nephews have random days off for reasons I can't understand.

    Otherwise, who's paying gets a big say. And you have to decide what's more important to you. We did schedule our wedding during summer break knowing that we have a lot of OOT and they wouldn't want to leave their kids at home (school) but it costs more in the summer.

    How long is the distance for your guests? Are they in NE or would it require a plane ticket. But if it's early fall, I would love to make it a long weekend camping trip :-)
  • Thank you for all of your responses. My fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, but we wouldn't be able to fully pay for our families traveling fees. We would be traveling from Ohio to Maine and would prefer to be there for about 4 days with family and then my fiance and I would stay there longer for our honeymoon. So we're now seriously considering of changing the date to August so that way my niece will be able to attend, not the exact wedding of what we have been picturing, but I feel like people are able to take time off during the summer rather than in October. As long as family is able to be there it will be a great day no matter what.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Maine is very lovely in the summer, too. Before you change your dates, make sure your family will make the trip to Maine for a summer wedding. School schedules may not be their only consideration.
                       
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    You really need to decide what is most important to you.  We also wanted a small DW, but where wasn't as important to us.  But, several family member work for schools and we really wanted nieces & nephews to come, so that is what decided our date... it had to be summer.  We decided on a cruise wedding and would have preferred a different time of year because ship will be more crowded in summer, particularly with young kids, and prices go up drastically.  But it was more important that everyone could come.  Then, from there we narrowed down a few options we could live with, ran those past our families, and went with the one that was most convenient for our guests.  If you are hoping for the fall tree color, you could probably find some gorgeous areas without travelling that far away, if distance is an issue.  One of the other realities of a DW though, is that you won't get everyone there, and you need to be okay with that.  We decided that our parents & siblings were critical, so we made sure to choose something that worked for them, but it wouldn't ruin our day if others couldn't be there.  We only have about 1/2 our invited guests coming... and we are okay with that. So, you need to decide what is critical to you, what you can live without, what you can't live without, and probably make some compromises to get one you that has what you really want.

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  • I kinda know how you feel. I live at in a resort town, so everyone who is coming to my wedding has to travel. And I had to decided whether I was going to try to plan my wedding where our family was or where I live (where I live is way prettier ;) ) and accept the fact some people couldn't make it.  Maybe consider cutting the time you expect people to be there shorter. You can show up early and if they want to join you then they can but if they only come for the ceremony and leave the next day because they have other obligations then you should respect that. 

  • Do the wedding in Ohio, where everyone including your niece would be able to attend and surround you with family and friends at the most important family ceremony you will be a part of, then honeymoon in Maine where you and your new husband want to call your special location just for you two.
    KittyKaty20
  • I think you should have the wedding you want. It's about the joining of you and your fiance. And there is always more affordable options for the family, renting a bus for everyone to travel in and getting a big lodge that everyone can split costs. My fiance's family is renting out a lodge that sleeps 18 for $500 a night. So for each couple it's only $60. And trust me, there are a lot of lodges in Maine. Ps. where are you looking at in Maine?
  • Simple. Have 2 weddings. Do what you want to do first and foremost, but if you would also like to include family, then you need to make it a little more convenient for them. Just have a small wedding in Maine for you and your FI and maybe parents and then have a Bigger one back home to include family. 

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Simple. Have 2 weddings. Do what you want to do first and foremost, but if you would also like to include family, then you need to make it a little more convenient for them. Just have a small wedding in Maine for you and your FI and maybe parents and then have a Bigger one back home to include family. 

    This is horrible advice. OP please don't listen to this. You should only have one wedding and you need to pick a time of year and destination that works best for you, your FI and your VIP guests.

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Simple. Have 2 weddings. Do what you want to do first and foremost, but if you would also like to include family, then you need to make it a little more convenient for them. Just have a small wedding in Maine for you and your FI and maybe parents and then have a Bigger one back home to include family. 


    Great scot! No!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    pinkshorts27
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