Snarky Brides

Waiting Till Marriage.....

13

Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....

  • For me I consider sex in the same business-like way I consider a bunch of aspects in a potential mate.  I wouldn't get seriously involved in someone if I didn't know their criminal past (having one or a lack of one), if I didn't know their family, if their values weren't compatible with mine (having children, loving animals, etc.), amount of debt etc.  I know that doesn't sound romantic.
  • The only person I know of who considered herself to be saving herself for marriage actually had an abortion at 17. She then found God and she and her bf (who started dating when they were 14) then abstained until they got married last year at the age of 25. In my personal experience waiting for marriage leads to officiants making embarassing comments like "Watch out or the stallion will come out of the gate" at the wedding. ; )

    I think bad sex is a deal breaker, as mean as that may sound. I also think sex tells you a lot about the other person in ways other interactions may not. My ex was a selfish ass during/about sex and it was only 3 years into the relationship that it began leaking into the rest of our life. Turns out someone who is selfish in the sack is selfish in most other life aspects too.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:dcef5a10-e133-4378-8b44-247b59f2f2d9">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]The only person I know of who considered herself to be saving herself for marriage actually had an abortion at 17. She then found God and she and her bf (who started dating when they were 14) then abstained until they got married last year at the age of 25. In my personal experience waiting for marriage leads to officiants making embarassing comments like "Watch out or the stallion will come out of the gate" at the wedding. ; ) I think bad sex is a deal breaker, as mean as that may sound. I also think sex tells you a lot about the other person in ways other interactions may not. My ex was a selfish ass during/about sex and it was only 3 years into the relationship that it began leaking into the rest of our life. <font color="#ff00ff">Turns out someone who is selfish in the sack is selfish in most other life aspects too.
    </font>Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    This is beyond true.  No selfish lovers!
  • I find it a little sad that people dont... lack of self control maybe.. IDK ( here come the comments lol)

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:f9d40130-aa63-41c8-b7b2-1aebf1809720">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I find it a little sad that people dont... lack of self control maybe.. IDK ( here come the comments lol)
    Posted by lashanda1[/QUOTE]

    Not at all, just lack of a reason to wait for marriage. Sexual compatibility is a huge part of relationships for many people.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:f9d40130-aa63-41c8-b7b2-1aebf1809720">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I find it a little sad that people dont... lack of self control maybe.. IDK (<strong> here come the comments lol)</strong>
    Posted by lashanda1[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'ma just go ahead and assume because of that, that you're just trying to stir sh*t up. </div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:f9d40130-aa63-41c8-b7b2-1aebf1809720">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I find it a little sad that people dont... <strong>lack of self control maybe</strong>.. IDK ( here come the comments lol)
    Posted by lashanda1[/QUOTE]

    Right. Because people couldn't possibly make a decision not to wait.  It's just a self control issue.  Kind of like people who smoke or eat ice cream before bed or wear ugly shoes.  They just don't have the self control not to. 
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    [QUOTE]I find it a little sad that people dont... lack of self control maybe.. IDK ( here come the comments lol)
    Posted by lashanda1[/QUOTE]

    LOL Yeah because its such a great idea to rush into a marriage completely blind about sexual matters.  You know marriage is such a light commitment and all.
  • No no no Aprov. If you love him of course the sex will be great! Nevermind the ladies on S&R saying otherwise...
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    [QUOTE]I find it a little sad that people dont... lack of self control maybe.. IDK ( here come the comments lol)
    Posted by lashanda1[/QUOTE]

    People like you always make me think you're dying to have sex but no one wants to screw you so you lash out at anyone who is in love and experiencing the joys of sex.
  • It actually makes me kind of sad to read some of the "I was a virgin before marriage" posts over there. Not wanting to have sex because it's painful the first year of your marriage does not sound like a happy time to me.
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    [QUOTE]No no no Aprov. If you love him of course the sex will be great! Nevermind the ladies on S&R saying otherwise...
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    Apparently love teaches men how to find a gspot.....or not. 

    I had an awesome relationship with a guy and sex with him was not better then me just snuggling in bed with a good book.  PROBLEM.  It wasn't for his lack of trying or mine we just didn't suit chemistry wise and it was a major problem.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:28bc048a-55dd-4e4a-9ad5-a6b34455f49a">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]It actually makes me kind of sad to read some of the "I was a virgin before marriage" posts over there. Not wanting to have sex because it's painful the first year of your marriage does not sound like a happy time to me.
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    Wait where were those posts?  They didn't want to have sex because they were afraid it would be so painful?
  • TMI but DH and I's first time was AWFUL. I literally cried afterwards, I was surprised when he called me the next day. Now it's bangin but shiit, I'd hate to be crying on my wedding night.
  • Aprov, Sex and Relationships over on TN. Posts regularly are dealing with people who never had sex before and want to know if it will ever stop being painful/ if they will ever enjoy it.

    My ex was a virgin when we started dating. I have to say, I'm kind of glad H has experience because when the guy doesn't know what he's doing it freaking sucks.
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    [QUOTE]TMI but DH and I's first time was AWFUL. I literally cried afterwards, I was surprised when he called me the next day. Now it's bangin but shiit, I'd hate to be crying on my wedding night.
    Posted by JennaV26[/QUOTE]

    How traumatic would that be to have that happen the day after your wedding and you'd made that huge commitment.  Oh my I would have flipped a shiit.

    FI and my first time together was amazing....the second time was awful....I was also really upset but the third time was back to being amazing.  Its unrealistic to expect sex to be perfect every single time.....but overall it should be amazing.
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    [QUOTE]Aprov, Sex and Relationships over on TN. Posts regularly are dealing with people who never had sex before and want to know if it will ever stop being painful/ if they will ever enjoy it. My ex was a virgin when we started dating. I have to say, I'm kind of glad H has experience because when the guy doesn't know what he's doing it freaking sucks.
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    Ugh.  I have a few friends that have never had the big O.  I cannot imagine.  Always having it be painful must literally be a bitch.  This might sound really awful but I refused to sleep with any virgins.  I had no interest in guys who were inexperienced......I'm not the teaching type.
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    [QUOTE]Aprov, Sex and Relationships over on TN. Posts regularly are dealing with people who never had sex before and want to know if it will ever stop being painful/ if they will ever enjoy it. My ex was a virgin when we started dating. <strong>I have to say, I'm kind of glad H has experience because when the guy doesn't know what he's doing it freaking sucks.</strong>
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    <div>Meeee too. I didn't have a huge amount, one serious boyfriend for two years, and a couple only a few times thing, and FI had been through college and all that...yeah, the first time all I could think after was "Omg, I finally get why people love sex so much".</div>
  • Yeah, I think that was my problem too. All of my friends were saying "oh this is so perfect, you can teach him, blah blah blah"

    1) I didn't have experience either and didn't know what I was doing
    2) I don't want to spend the whole time having sex teaching someone what works and what doesn't, and when it didn't work it hurt so I gave up early on.
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    [QUOTE]Yeah, I think that was my problem too. All of my friends were saying "oh this is so perfect, you can teach him, blah blah blah" 1) I didn't have experience either and didn't know what I was doing 2) I don't want to spend the whole time having sex teaching someone what works and what doesn't, and when it didn't work it hurt so I gave up early on.
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    Ugh that must have sucked.  For women its so much more important, I think, to have control in sexual areas and experience because its harder for us to really enjoy sex compared to men (IMHO).
  • Yeah. It was not fun and hurt way too many times, mostly because he was an ass. I think H and I had more sex in the first week of us not being LDR than I had my entire life before him.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:ed7e5f43-ee60-4af1-a54c-8c2bdfbbc13e">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah. It was not fun and hurt way too many times, mostly because he was an ass. I think H and I had more sex in the first week of us not being LDR than I had my entire life before him.
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    Your H sounds awesome.....I don;t mean that in a creepy way but in a I'm happy for you way.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:6dcf08db-fa04-4b08-894a-15e05bc84335">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Waiting Till Marriage..... : Meeee too. I didn't have a huge amount, one serious boyfriend for two years, and a couple only a few times thing, and FI had been through college and all that...<strong>yeah, the first time all I could think after was "Omg, I finally get why people love sex so much</strong>".
    Posted by Anysunrise[/QUOTE]

    Yes this. Between my first time ever and my first time with H I thought sex was stupid and highly overrated. Now, not so much, it totally lives up to the hype.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:1f1c01bc-fa1a-4913-b3ab-7443792a63fc">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Waiting Till Marriage..... : Yes this. Between my first time ever and my first time with H I thought sex was stupid and highly overrated. Now, not so much, it totally lives up to the hype.
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    The other day my friend said sex was way over rated and she'd rather just take a nap.....I told her something was wrong lol.
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    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Waiting Till Marriage..... : How traumatic would that be to have that happen the day after your wedding and you'd made that huge commitment.  Oh my I would have flipped a shiit.Posted by aprovencher21[/QUOTE]

    Seriously, me too. Our problem was that we waited a long time before finally sleeping together. We had fooled around a lot and because our chemistry was so great in other areas we hyped up how the sex was going to be. We would talk about how fantastic and mind-blowing it was going to be when it happened and then when it did, it's like we both had a major case of stage fright and it just.. failed.

    Thankfully it did become fantastic but only after we let go of some of the pressure. That's what I feel like happens with people who wait until marriage, it would just be so horrible to be let down on your wedding night.

    Our wedding night was perfect, absolutely romantic and wonderful and I know it wouldn't have been the same had we waited.
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    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Waiting Till Marriage..... : I'ma just go ahead and assume because of that, that you're just trying to stir sh*t up. 
    Posted by Anysunrise[/QUOTE]
     No i said that because it is not a popular view and people here tend to be rather opinionated when something is outside of what is considered the popular course...So i expected the comments that i got
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    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Waiting Till Marriage..... : People like you always make me think you're dying to have sex but no one wants to screw you so you lash out at anyone who is in love and experiencing the joys of sex.
    Posted by aprovencher21[/QUOTE]

    1) You dont know me and i have no idea of what i am or think...2) I love mu Fi and yes i am looking forward to making love to him and vice versa... ( dont  assume i have or have not already)....3) I did not lash out at you or anyone else about finding love and joy in life. I did not even respond to you until now, however you found it necessary to bring this topic into a completely unrelated thread.

    As i said before what people choose to do is no concern of mine if they are responsible and informed adults. If you are of that group then good for you...
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    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Waiting Till Marriage..... :  No i said that because it is not a popular view and people here tend to be rather opinionated when something is outside of what is considered the popular course...So i expected the comments that i got
    Posted by lashanda1[/QUOTE]

    When your only posts here are followed with that, obviously you know what's up but have no problem doing it anyways. That, to me, is a sh*t stirrer. Just state your opinion. Following it with "I know this is like, so taboo and people are totally going to flame me" just makes it seem like that's exactly what you're going for.
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    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Waiting Till Marriage..... : When your only posts here are followed with that, obviously you know what's up but have no problem doing it anyways. That, to me, is a sh*t stirrer. Just state your opinion.<strong> Following it with "I know this is like, so taboo and people are totally going to flame me" just makes it seem like that's exactly what you're going for.</strong>
    Posted by Anysunrise[/QUOTE]

    I don't know, I've said stuff like that before.  Not in hopes that I would be flamed, just so that people knew that I knew they probably wouldn't like my opinion. 

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Waiting Till Marriage..... : I don't know, I've said stuff like that before.  Not in hopes that I would be flamed, just so that people knew that I knew they probably wouldn't like my opinion. 
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    Yes, but your posts aren't ALL controversial (not that the Glee thing was hugely controversial, but she seemed to think it was) opinions followed by it. I don't recall her posting anything prior to these, so it kinda bugs me.
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