Vendor peeves

wrigleyville · February 2014

Venues without photos of the room(s) = no. That always ticked me off more than anything else. I'm not going to drive all over Hell's half-acre just to find out the rooms are not to my taste.

flyingfoxes · February 2014

I too am hating the no prices listed. I don't want to feel like a jackass contacting some place to see what their charge is only to find out it's way out of what I would be able to pay! Just put a range out there so I can know to move on and save us both the trouble.

APDSS22 · February 2014

FiancB said:

^I told a venue that they were out of my budget, even Fridays. they just sent me an email saying "Thursdays are the new Fridays!" uhhh no thanks. I'll sign up for a Saturday wedding at a much cheaper venue since I actually want people to show up.

One of the couples in our friend group got married on a Thursday. It was OOT for everyone except the brides' parents and sister so we all got to drive down mid-week for a wedding that was pretty meh...the group still talks about standing around in the hot sun for cocktail hour in our heels with no place to sit.

JCbride2015 · February 2014

Haven't read all the responses but wanted to chime in on never listing prices. Drives me crazy!

Our venue was one of the only ones that listed the prices on the site. I called to set up an appointment and they checked whether we had seen the packages already. The manager said, "We don't want to waste anybody's time coming out if we aren't what they're looking for, and we like to be upfront about everything." Sir, I like the way you think.

And any photographer or florist with a tacky website-- no thanks. I'm hiring you for your artistic eye. If you use Comic Sans or annoying music, we're done.

Cookie Pusher · February 2014

I refused to even consider any vendors whose websites took too damn long to load or had an intro video you couldn't skip through. I mean, yea, I want to see your work... but I don't want to have to see the whole damn video every.single.time. I need to go to your site!

Also, vendors who disregarded my request to contact me by email during the day, not by phone. I do not take personal calls at work but have my phone on for emergencies (my office has an automated menu that you have to go through to get to my extension, therefore a pain in the ass in emergencies). I will respond to emails almost immediately, but I hate, hate, hate having my phone ring while I'm busy making collections calls! If you ask for my preferred method of contact, you should respect it!

FiancB · February 2014

^Yes. I hate talking on the phone, and by email all the info is right there for me to refer back to later.

AshleyNicole1218 · February 2014

I hate when vendors keep contacting me after I've disclosed that I made a choice, and for whatever reason, it wasn't them.

I just got a phone call yesterday from a photographer wanting to discuss packages. I chose my photographer alnost 6 months ago and contacted the ones I had inquired to that I appreciated their time, but decided to go with someone else and take me off their contact lists. Yep, still getting emails, calls, etc. I've unsubscribed from one email mailing list at least 20 times, and I still get emails. Obnoxious.

jennyleigh16 · February 2014

Weighing in on this one because it's currently driving me crazy.

I'm in the very early stages of planning my Sept 2015 wedding.

I got in touch with this venue looking for their wedding package pdf and asking a few questions. Someone in the office replied with a copy of the package and said the event planner was on holidays for a week and would get back to me. Not a problem. A week later I got another copy of the package from the event planner. I replied again with my question. (They have a minimum 110 guest count May-Oct. My guest list tops out at 50. I know some places will still let you book but charge a fee for the guests you aren't having to cover their costs. I wanted to know if that was an option.) She replied with 2014 dates and ignored my question. So I replied again with my question, reiterated that I was looking at 2015, while trying to set up a site visit date. She answered about the date, ignored the minimum count question.

I finally emailed her back and told her that the venue is over an hour from my home and in order to not waste my time and hers, I'd really like to know if the venue is even an option before making the trip to see it. She replied saying their guest counts are more flexible Nov-April and sent me a sample invoice for 60 guest for November 2014. I haven't replied yet. I get that no one will care about my wedding as much as I do, but if the event planner for the venue can't be bothered to read my emails carefully enough to catch the 4 times I've said 2015, nor answer my very direct question one of the 4 times I've asked it, then how detail oriented will she be on the day?

The other thing that rubbed me the wrong way:

I was sent a third copy of the package pdf by one of the other planners at the venue. She sent it out to all the brides who attended the wedding show in January. How do I know? She CCed it, not BCCed, and I could see all the email addresses of everyone who received it. Not a huge deal but an etiquette faux-pas and I'm not thrilled about my contact info floating around will a hundred other brides.

Gorgeous venue but I'll be considering other options.

APDSS22 · February 2014

@jennbaer16 : The venue coordinator being flighty (and never responding to e-mail even though she had an e-mail address, she kept trying to call me back during business hours when I was at work) was my one pet peeve about the venue my husband and I chose. The place was great and everyone who came to the reception loved it but I really had problems communicating with this lady.

FiancB · February 2014

Is it normal to be charged for a tasting? I am going to go look at a venue that, overall, is probably the least costly of the three I'm looking at, but they charge for tastings. I find that a little off putting but maybe it's more normal than I think.

jennyleigh16 · February 2014

@TheFutureMrsRohlman22 : Was it worth the stress of dealing with her for months on end? I can almost understand being flighty after you've booked (not right, but it happens), but being deliberately vague before I've signed a contract seems counter-intuitive for someone who is trying to run a business.

She's really been pushing hard for me to come for a site visit and seems not to want to answer any questions until then. We had one lined up but I had a death in the family and had to cancel. I'm thinking it's because the fee they charge is pretty high and she wants me to fall in love with the place before I learn the cost. Frustrating.

APDSS22 · February 2014

jenbaer16 said:

@TheFutureMrsRohlman22 : Was it worth the stress of dealing with her for months on end? I can almost understand being flighty after you've booked (not right, but it happens), but being deliberately vague before I've signed a contract seems counter-intuitive for someone who is trying to run a business.
She's really been pushing hard for me to come for a site visit and seems not to want to answer any questions until then. We had one lined up but I had a death in the family and had to cancel. I'm thinking it's because the fee they charge is pretty high and she wants me to fall in love with the place before I learn the cost. Frustrating.

@jenbaer16 : It was extremely frustrating, especially since I had to lean on her to work with a little independence since we were in a different city. I had a few mini meltdowns right before the wedding. Luckily, we caught the mistake with the linens (she had napkins/tablecloths backwards). I tried to tell myself I didn't care if the linens were the wrong colors but it was kind of the last straw. She also thought we wanted a cash bar rather than consumption beer/wine (HELL no. I had told her on our first meeting that was what I absolutely DID NOT want but apparently she couldn't read her own handwriting.)

If I had to do it again, I would stick with the venue that I loved but I really do wish I hadn't had to deal with that woman. In your situation I think you're right that she's trying to get you to fall in love before you see the price tag. With our venue, the very reasonable price was a huge draw. I'd make an appointment to see the venue, but keep your eyes open since there are a couple of drawbacks already...Have you checked out online reviews for this venue to see how other brides dealt with this coordinator? If there are tons of negative reviews I would walk away.

delujm0 · February 2014

FiancB said:

Is it normal to be charged for a tasting? I am going to go look at a venue that, overall, is probably the least costly of the three I'm looking at, but they charge for tastings. I find that a little off putting but maybe it's more normal than I think.

Some vendors do and some don't. We met with two caterers - one had free tastings and the other charged $50. We wound up booking the one that charged $50, and that $50 got applied against the total cost. The nice thing was that since we paid for the food, they sent all of the extras home for us in to-go containers and we ate it for the next week. It was delicious.

Inkdancer · February 2014

New peeve: vendors who never answer their phone.

I have tried to call our caterer 3 times and have sent an email to reschedule a meeting because FI can't make it. I really don't want to stand her up. Even an "ok cool" text would be fine at this point. Anything.

Emmy1493 · February 2014

The pricing thing really bugs me too. We ended up postponing our wedding last year and have decided to move it closer to home so (lucky us) we get to do all of this legwork again. I hate the words "Contact Us For Pricing." It makes me feel like they're being dishonest, sneaky, and are going to randomly quote me a different price than someone else. I get that packages are usually able to be customized and all, but give me a friggin' ballpark so I don't waste both of our time!

ITB: I second this! When I first started planning, most vendors did this crap. So I would have 3 different florists, cake bakers,venues etc scattered everywhere. So annoying.... (Although I could have organized better.)

Inkdancer · February 2014

Inkdancer said:

New peeve: vendors who never answer their phone.

I have tried to call our caterer 3 times and have sent an email to reschedule a meeting because FI can't make it. I really don't want to stand her up. Even an "ok cool" text would be fine at this point. Anything.

Well it turns out that she wasn't calling me back because she quit. And forgot to tell the new girl about our meeting. SO. That's been a fun adventure.

flyingfoxes · February 2014

Vendors who actually list their prices, and you start to get all excited, then the fine print of "Saturdays are reserved for 150 guests or more". We have around 90. *deflated*

Sugargirl1019 · February 2014

qmda76 said:
Vendors who actually list their prices, and you start to get all excited, then the fine print of "Saturdays are reserved for 150 guests or more". We have around 90. *deflated*

No way. I'm so glad my venue didn't have that stipulation!

tesgirl123 · February 2014

I really hate the random cold calls you get from vendors and they say in a fake sweet "First of all Congratulations!!!" It just annoys me and it sounds super fake.

I went with my mom and met with two florists, one of whom was super professional and had a great meeting, then after hearing my budget never sent us a written proposal for pricing. The other sounded great and then her proposal was all screwed up, like she wasn't even listening during our meeting.

flyingfoxes · February 2014

Sugargirl1019 said:

Vendors who actually list their prices, and you start to get all excited, then the fine print of "Saturdays are reserved for 150 guests or more". We have around 90. *deflated*
No way. I'm so glad my venue didn't have that stipulation!

I guess I can understand they want to make more money, but it's a restaurant, not a big fancy reception hall. they do have an open bar as part of their wedding packages, but still....

jalyndani · February 2014

I have a vendor story/peeve for y'all.

The first week we started planning, I made a lot of phone calls and set up a lot of appointments to meet with vendors and visit venues. We were on a shortened schedule because we wanted a June date, and this was the first week of January. One of the appointments I made was a tasting with one the cake ladies in our town. She came highly recommended, and she had reasonable prices. When I scheduled the appointment, she told me straight up, "You won't be meeting with me, honey; you'll go to our office and my staff will greet you and give you some samples to take home to taste." Ok. No problem. Well, my mom had a massive emotional and mental breakdown over the whole "omg a wedding is really happening" stress the morning we were supposed to go to this tasting appointment. And by breakdown I mean she said she wasn't paying for anything, that she hated my FI...and then she threatened suicide. Needless to say, we missed that appointment. The next morning, after we calmed my mom down and the wedding planning could commence, I called Cake Lady to apologize and to reschedule. I opened with, "Hi Ms. Cake Lady, this is Jalyndani- I am SO SORRY-" and she cut me off.

Cake Lady: "You missed an appointment with me yesterday."

Me: "Yes ma'am I know, that's why I'm calling..."

CL: "I drove FIFTY MILES out of my way to meet you, and you didn't even call."

Me: "Ms. Cake Lady, I'm so sorry, that's why I'm calling you now. We had some family problems and we weren't able to call yesterday..."

CL: "I just can't believe this. I went out of my way for your appointment. You can't just not call. I took time out of my busy day to drive back to the office for this, and YOU DIDN"T EVEN CALL."

Me: ".....Ms. Cake Lady, I'm sorry. Can I compensate you somehow for the miles? I honestly can't apologize enough...I don't know what else to say...."

CL: "No. I don't want your money. You just need to learn to call people in this business."

Look, I understand that I missed an appointment, but she told me that SHE wouldn't be the person I was meeting with, that I was to deal with her staff in their brick-n-mortar office building. So I never understood why she had to drive 50 miles out of her way. I guess I could have been specific about our "family problems", but I didn't think that was her business. Her tone of voice went from "honey" and "oh sure thing sweetie" to "I DON"T WANT YOUR MONEY".

Needless to say, we didn't use her for our cakes. I always wondered how many other brides she treated this way. I thought these people/vendors wanted our business?

JennyColada · February 2014

tesgirl123 said:
I really hate the random cold calls you get from vendors and they say in a fake sweet "First of all Congratulations!!!" It just annoys me and it sounds super fake.

Ooo, you should say something fun like "why? If I back out now I won't get citizenship." or just start crying and say "HE SLEPT WITH MY BEST FRIEND AND NOW IM STUCK WITH HIM FOREVER!"

MrsAitch · February 2014

We went to Men's Warehouse on Saturday and were pretty appalled by how we were treated. I was just gushing to my fiance actually about how I loved how everyone vendor-wise is ridiculously nice and accommodating to me (even though I don't ask for anything--I just mean like stores taking my coat when I register and checking on me and getting me water, things like that) as a bride. I know they just want my business, but it sure is nice. Also coat checks should be in every store in cold climate areas because who wants to wear or carry their coat and shop?

Anyway, we had been a bit disappointed shopping for men's wedding bands because there just isn't much selection, and then we go into Men's Warehouse to inquire about a tuxedo rental and I don't think I've ever had a stranger encounter. The consultant wasn't outright rude to us, she just offered no information whatsoever and it was like pulling teeth to get her to help us. Pretty much all she did was have us look through a book of styles and after we asked about 500 times, she told us they don't actually have samples of the tuxes in the store so the groom just has to pick the style out of the book and they will measure him and that's it. He doesn't get to try it on or anything beforehand. Is this common--that tux shops don't have any tuxes in stock that you can try? We were mostly annoyed because she didn't explain this to us even after we spend 30 minutes looking through the book with her discussing what styles he might want to try on before telling us this.

FiancB · February 2014

A couple weeks ago I emailed a restaurant about possibly having a reception there. I said "we're looking at this date for x many people, if it's available can you tell me more about prices etc?". They emailed me today "sorry we didn't get back to you, I'm the new manager person and we're renovating, are you still interested?"

I guess that's fine but it would've been nice if they would've just answered my questions at the same time. Bleh. I emailed back "yes we're interested" and I suppose it'll take them another couple weeks to get back to me again.

jennyleigh16 · February 2014

NWR But I went into TipTop Tailors (menswear store) before Christmas intent on buying FI some new dress shirts. I was the only customer in the store and there were 3 staff members milling around the cash chatting. I looked right at them, they looked back at me and kept chatting. I browsed dress shirts for about 5 mins while looking over at them. No one offered to help so I just walked out. I'm not looking for someone to be at my beck and call but I was ready to spend a couple hundred dollars in the store and I didn't even get a head nod.

dolewhipper · February 2014

jalyndani said:

I have a vendor story/peeve for y'all.

The first week we started planning, I made a lot of phone calls and set up a lot of appointments to meet with vendors and visit venues. We were on a shortened schedule because we wanted a June date, and this was the first week of January. One of the appointments I made was a tasting with one the cake ladies in our town. She came highly recommended, and she had reasonable prices. When I scheduled the appointment, she told me straight up, "You won't be meeting with me, honey; you'll go to our office and my staff will greet you and give you some samples to take home to taste." Ok. No problem. Well, my mom had a massive emotional and mental breakdown over the whole "omg a wedding is really happening" stress the morning we were supposed to go to this tasting appointment. And by breakdown I mean she said she wasn't paying for anything, that she hated my FI...and then she threatened suicide. Needless to say, we missed that appointment. The next morning, after we calmed my mom down and the wedding planning could commence, I called Cake Lady to apologize and to reschedule. I opened with, "Hi Ms. Cake Lady, this is Jalyndani- I am SO SORRY-" and she cut me off.
Cake Lady: "You missed an appointment with me yesterday."
Me: "Yes ma'am I know, that's why I'm calling..."
CL: "I drove FIFTY MILES out of my way to meet you, and you didn't even call."
Me: "Ms. Cake Lady, I'm so sorry, that's why I'm calling you now. We had some family problems and we weren't able to call yesterday..."
CL: "I just can't believe this. I went out of my way for your appointment. You can't just not call. I took time out of my busy day to drive back to the office for this, and YOU DIDN"T EVEN CALL."
Me: ".....Ms. Cake Lady, I'm sorry. Can I compensate you somehow for the miles? I honestly can't apologize enough...I don't know what else to say...."
CL: "No. I don't want your money. You just need to learn to call people in this business."

Look, I understand that I missed an appointment, but she told me that SHE wouldn't be the person I was meeting with, that I was to deal with her staff in their brick-n-mortar office building. So I never understood why she had to drive 50 miles out of her way. I guess I could have been specific about our "family problems", but I didn't think that was her business. Her tone of voice went from "honey" and "oh sure thing sweetie" to "I DON"T WANT YOUR MONEY".

Needless to say, we didn't use her for our cakes. I always wondered how many other brides she treated this way. I thought these people/vendors wanted our business?

As someone in works in hospitality with clients, she probably has a high demand and can pick and choose easily when to give her business. As well, I absolutely can't TAKE when client no-shows. I understand you couldn't have called-but could you have texted someone else to call? Though I bet that wasn't really on your mind/high on your priority list. I'd send her an email if you're still interested in working with her.

FiancB · March 2014

So photography is My Big Thing that I care a lot about. I dabble in photography myself, so excellent photography is a must for me, plus those pictures last forever.

We were at a bridal show and were talking to a photographer and FI asked him if he did the postprocessing. The guy turned up his nose and said that he's a purist and believes in getting it right in camera.

*eyeroll*

When people say that, what they really mean IMO is "I don't know how to use photoshop/lightroom and I don't want to put in the extra work to adjust my photos. Also I'm pretty pretentious"

Of course it's important to get it right in camera, but there are some shots that are literally impossible to get in camera, especially in low light. Plus if I have a mega zit or something I would really like to have that fixed. And postprocessing is an art form of its own- it's not like you push one button and everything is automatically fixed. It takes work and time and skill and calling it cheating is really disrespectful of that.

And his photos were not that good.

So yeah. Couldn't run away fast enough. If he was super budget priced I would've been like okay, give me the RAW files and I can fix them up myself. But he was just as expensive as anyone else.

lkristenj · March 2014

Photography was my big thing too. After easily settling on our venues (his childhood church and a local brewery that rents out with all-you-can-drink beer included where we had several dates) photography was next on my to-do list. I found one whose style I liked and sent him an inquiry via email. He was responsive and confident. He gave me a reasonable quote of about $1600 to get what I wanted. I was thrilled, so I scheduled a consultation so FI and I could meet with him together and view porfolios.

Later that same week, I went to a bridal show and met with SO MANY photographers. Afterwards, I made a spreadsheet to help me organize them all. I think I saw 63 in one day! That same photographer that I had emailed was there! I was so happy to be able to see his work and I told him that I was looking forward to our consultation next week. He seemed very withdrawn, but it was at the end of a long day at the show, so I gave it a pass. When I looked over the flyers after getting home, his listed prices starting at $3500 and going up to $6000! Why would he quote me something so different via email? I figured he had a reason and wouldn't have told me if he didn't mean it, so I let it go and hoped for the best.

We were planning to meet with him the Sunday after the show. FI's grandmother's birthday brunch was that morning at 10, but with an appointment time of 1:30 at a casual restaurant location nearby (that he named), we weren't too worried. Then, with only days before the brunch, one of FI's family has something come up and we couldn't start until 11. Knowing how much they like to eat/talk, I start to get worried and contact the photographer to reschedule for the following Sunday. I hated not giving much notice, but he seemed to take it well, or at least, he said it was fine and we'd meet the next week.

Well, the next week comes and we are in a fluster trying to get to the location on time. We get there at 1:30 exactly and I scour the faces in the room (it's seat-yourself and people often study there) to see if I recognize him. I don't see him. I begin to worry if my memory isn't that good from the show and start looking for people with portfolios or paperwork. There were some, but none were photography related.

We find a table in the crowded place for 6 people and sit down because it's the only one available in the place. We wait until 2:10 for him to show. He never did.

In hindsight, I did think it was weird that when he tried scheduling a consultation, he didn't ask what worked for me. He said we'd meet at this place at this time on this day. I told him that didn't work, so he picked another day (the one with the brunch). I guess he didn't like being dictated when he should meet with potential customers.

Also, I have not heard from him since then. FI said not to call him out on it and only mention it if he responded again. He didn't. I guess FI's right about taking the high road...

TLDR: I had a photographer stand me up at a consultation. He had inconsistent pricing and also dictated the time/place of the consultation for me. I didn't see all the red flags until after being stood up.

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