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In lieu of gift wording... (not asking for cash)

astevenson88astevenson88 member
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I am looking for good wording to put on an insert with my invitation that says we don't want gifts but instead we want words of wisdom, or wedding/marriage joke, or quote, or something like that so that I can scrapbook it & have them forever! 

I just don't know how to have it worded so it doesn't look bad & I don't have a super long insert, just blabbing on & on

Thanks for your help :) 
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Re: In lieu of gift wording... (not asking for cash)

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Ditto PPs. You don't mention gifts on wedding invitations.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I wouldn't put anything like that on the invitation. I would endorse putting a request for words of wisdom on the back of your RSVP cards that people can fill out if they want, but no mention of gifts.
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  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Ditto PPs- nothing in invitations.  I had put out advice cards when i hosted my sister's bridal shower, you and your FI are free to do this at your wedding.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    astevenson88 said:
    I am looking for good wording to put on an insert with my invitation that says we don't want gifts but instead we want words of wisdom, or wedding/marriage joke, or quote, or something like that so that I can scrapbook it & have them forever! 

    I just don't know how to have it worded so it doesn't look bad & I don't have a super long insert, just blabbing on & on

    Thanks for your help :) 
    There's no appropriate wording for anything about gifts because it is rude to write anything about gifts.

    You never bring up gifts to yourself, not even to say you don't want them.  

    If people ask you where you are registered or what you would like, you then tell them that you don't want any physical gifts and mention the words of wisdom.  
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  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited February 2014
    astevenson88 said:
    I am looking for good wording to put on an insert with my invitation that says we don't want gifts but instead we want words of wisdom, or wedding/marriage joke, or quote, or something like that so that I can scrapbook it & have them forever! 

    I just don't know how to have it worded so it doesn't look bad & I don't have a super long insert, just blabbing on & on

    Thanks for your help :)

    Stuck it the box. :(  It's not appropriate to mention gifts or make requests on your invitation, but perhaps your Words of Wisdom could be a guest book alternative.

    ETA: My cousins did this for a baby shower. We hung little words of advice for the little one or wishes we has for her on a little metal tree that was hung in the entrance to the home. It was very sweet. Even my nine year-old cousin had a contribution.
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  • AroundTheBlockAroundTheBlock member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    As long as you just leave out the part about not wanting gifts, and say nothing about "in lieu of gifts", then a little insert saying "we would cherish any words of wisdom, jokes, quotes or insights about marriage that you might wish to give us" is no worse than all the other multifarious inserts that populate wedding invitations nowadays. It's short and to the point, and people will get you their mementos in different forms which will keep your scrapbook interesting
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  • 312Emily312Emily member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    As PPs have said, it's rude for invitations to mention "in lieu of gifts..."

    But this advice/joke concept might make an awesome guestbook-type thing, and then you wouldn't even have to have it ready until the week of your wedding.
    image
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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Agree with all the posters about the "in lieu of gifts" language being bad.  

    I did want to suggest that a friend put a "knock knock" post card at each seat at the reception.  The post cards were addressed to the couple's home address and stamped, and guests were encouraged to take them home, write a joke, and mail them after the wedding.  It was pretty cute.  
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Any mention of gifts in an invitation, including "in lieu of gifts," is rude.

    If guests ask you about gift preferences, you can ask for words of wisdom by word of mouth.  But you cannot pre-empt the gifting process by stating your preferences unsolicited.
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  • Vivandiere8Vivandiere8 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    At my cousins wedding instead of a guest book they had a mail box and baskets of assorted post cards. A sign asked guests to write a note to the couple. you could do something like that but ask for words of wisdom, etc.
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  • Peaseblossom55Peaseblossom55 mod
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    As other have said I think it's rude to say in lieu of gifts, can you turn that idea though into a a guest book type thing where at the reception people put into a jar- advice, words of widsom ect. ( I'm sure there is some creative way to do this but it's too early in the morning to be creative right now...)

    Anniversary

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment

    I would put paper & pens at each table at the reception & then while you are thanking everyone for coming you can let them know what it is for (or you can put little signs on the table) and then to make sure you get them, see if a staff member from your venue can go around an collect them for you. If you go this route, let your venue know so they can let their staff know so they know not to throw the pieces of paper away as they are cleaning off the tables during the night.

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  • JellyBean52513JellyBean52513 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    STARMOON44 said:
    I wouldn't put anything like that on the invitation. I would endorse putting a request for words of wisdom on the back of your RSVP cards that people can fill out if they want, but no mention of gifts.
    A friend of mine did something kinda like this, except on her RSVP cards she had a space where people could write in a song request. I thought that idea was brilliant. People are already writing on/filling out RSVP cards, so including a line or two where they could offer some well wishes/words of wisdom shouldn't be too much of a hassle.
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