Dear Prudence,
I am a professional woman with a demanding job and a baby. I always figured that after starting a family I’d hire a house cleaner, just as my mother had done. We have the income to do this but my husband objects to this idea. He has listened to my argument that paying a cleaner would give us more quality time with our child and each other, but he says it makes him feel more loved to know that I have cleaned our bathroom myself. He is happy to do his share of the housework and doesn’t want me to contract out my share to a stranger. I don’t know if some women feel a kind of love for their husbands that best finds expression through scrubbing toilets, but, as it turns out, I don’t. I am tempted to secretly hire a cleaner for a few hours each week with my own money and pretend I’ve done the cleaning myself. Would this be wrong?