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Bridesmaid (sister of the groom) dropping out :-(

borkweddingborkwedding member
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in Moms and Maids

I'm getting married on 12/21/14. I will have 6 attendants, 3 bridesmaids, 3 groomsmen, including my brother and 2 best friends from college, and my fiance's brother, sister, and best friend.

My fiance's brother is getting married in a month, and the sister is a bridesmaid at that wedding. She is struggling with her budget, and so the groom (her brother) has offered to pay for her part in the wedding. We understood her situation, and planned to cover her expenses at our wedding too. We would much rather her be in the bridal party than not, no matter what the cost is. But, now she is refusing, saying that she can't afford it... despite us telling her that we'd cover everything- dress, alterations, hair, makeup, etc. It means so much more to us that she is in the bridal party than saving the money. We don't even care about gifts.

We're only planning on getting married once ever, so I'd really love to have her in the bridal party, and it would hurt to not have her in it. How do I convince her to reconsider?

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Re: Bridesmaid (sister of the groom) dropping out :-(

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I don't really think you can.  You offered to cover all her costs and she said no.  You just have to accept it and move on.  She will still be at the wedding which is what really matters in the end.

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  • delujm0delujm0 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    If she doesn't want to be in the wedding, she doesn't have to be in the wedding...maybe you can ask her to be a reader in the ceremony?  would she accept that?  allshe has to do is show up to be a reader.
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    borkwedding said:

    I'm getting married on 12/21/14. I will have 6 attendants, 3 bridesmaids, 3 groomsmen, including my brother and 2 best friends from college, and my fiance's brother, sister, and best friend.

    My fiance's brother is getting married in a month, and the sister is a bridesmaid at that wedding. She is struggling with her budget, and so the groom (her brother) has offered to pay for her part in the wedding. We understood her situation, and planned to cover her expenses at our wedding too. We would much rather her be in the bridal party than not, no matter what the cost is. But, now she is refusing, saying that she can't afford it... despite us telling her that we'd cover everything- dress, alterations, hair, makeup, etc. It means so much more to us that she is in the bridal party than saving the money. We don't even care about gifts.

    We're only planning on getting married once ever, so I'd really love to have her in the bridal party, and it would hurt to not have her in it. How do I convince her to reconsider?

    Did you tell her the bolded?  Does she know how important it is for you two to have her in the wedding party than not?  If she does know, then don't push her further.  She is probably embarrassed that she needs to have things purchased for her, just so she can be in the wedding.

    I would do as PP suggested and ask if she wants to be a reader.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    While I agree with the idea of making her a reader if she'll agree to that, if you've mentioned to her that you're willing to cover her costs and she still won't agree to be in your wedding party, you may just have to let it go.

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