I can't take this drama for two years. I just can't! My future in-laws are acting like assholes. DF Godparents are estranged from them. They have been for 10 years over a fight that no one wants to own up to.
We had called them to see how many people they thought they would want to invite to our wedding. DF dad kinda blew him off and said they didn't really know anyone. (I should probably point out that both of them are estranged from 90% of their own families for various reasons.) DF mentioned just making a mock guest list since the wedding was so far away time-wise. We just needed a decent estimate so we could start looking at venues. DF pointed out that we had our own list and that various people, including his godparents, were on it. His dad replied in clipped tones, "That's your decision". They had said, not 3 months ago, that they loved he still had his godparents in his life.
DF was kicked out of his house several times when he was younger. For STUPID stuff. Everyone I talked to said that his parents were WAY too hard on him. When DF got married the first time they cut all ties with him until he divorced her. His family walked away like he meant nothing to them. However his godparents and their family weathered the storm with him, gave her emotional support (his ex was a horror) and took him in when he was a kid and out on his ass. He was sleeping in a car during winter! His parents kicked him out right before Christmas!! He adores his godparents and is happy when he sees them. His parents he views as slightly better than going to the dentist.
Long story short, his parents are upset that we would invite his godparents to our wedding without clearing it with them first. I have mixed feelings on that. Yes they are his parents, but I also feel it's pretty shitty that after everything they've done they are trying to pull that card. They are also claiming that they don't agree with "big weddings" and that they think it's a waste. ALLL-Righty!!
And we've gotten quite enough comments about it being both of ours second wedding and that we are making a big deal out of nothing. So we decided to move up the wedding.to this May. We are moving to another state August 1st and have full time jobs and school until then. DF is taking summer classes and I work full-time. So May is when we have our break. And since Mother's Day and Memorial Day fall on alternate weekends we are getting married in the one in between. May 17 in Atlantic City. We decided to start our new life being married and happy. We also wont have to deal with this crap for 2 more years.
Side note: Atlantic City, NJ is because it was our first date and has an airport right in town for anyone who may want to come in from out of state.
We were going to elope but thought we should at least give our families a chance to be there if they could. Otherwise it will be just us standing on a beach which is MORE than okay. Anyone who comes we would take out to dinner with us and then pay for everyone to go dancing in the casino we are staying in. Then go gamble together. We also have welcome bags made up and are getting small favors. Nothing too fancy.
We called a few select people and let them know what we are doing. It's all hush hush since we don't want a ton of people there. We are sending out small simple invitations and asking everyone to RSVP by phone. But we decided not to tell his parents until EVERYTHING is set in stone. We know already most of the people we told are coming.
We talked to his godparents who decided to reach out and try to mend fences. If it happens by then great, but if not we will handle it.
I'm comfortable with my decision. It won't be the wedding I was originally planning, but I'm more concerned with having a wonderful marriage than having a extravagant wedding. I don't want strain our our relationship because of other people. I don't care how/when we get married, just that we get married. That being said I know this is all very fast and last minute. We surprised a lot of people. They are happy for us and can't wait to be there.
I know this is childish, but even though I am happy with our new choice, I feel like I'm letting his parents win.
Thank You to whoever took the time to read all this!
END RANT