How much did you really combine the two families?

SBmini · April 2014

This may be cultural. My inlaws are crazy close to their extended families. When FI's sister was still married, her inlaws would come to holiday celebrations in addition to aunts, cousins, etc. So I wouldn't even bat an eye to something like this if my FMIL was the one planning.

But I cannot see that happening in our family. Unlike my FSIL's inlaws who were the same culture and lived five minutes away, my parents They 90 minutes away, have different cultures and traditions and their own big, extended families to host.

doeydo · April 2014

Our families get along, but I doubt they do/will consider each other 'family'

amakayeb · April 2014

I can see this happening in our family. For one, my fiance is going to be a pastor, so our 'holiday' time will be very limited. We also don't know how far from either family we will be living. I could totally picture a scenario where we would drive up to my parents, and his parents would drive down there to celebrate Christmas during the week after, or something like that... Although it helps that my parents have a small 'guest house' cabin on their property (old farm out in the country). FIL's already stayed there when they came down for my shower a few weeks ago. Our parents got along really well.

But this is also not unusual to me. Both sets of grandparents were often at things like Thanksgiving, etc. And my mom's parents would even go visit my dad's parents (they lived up north on a lake) for a few days every summer, until they got to old to feel comfortable making the long drive.

winelover123 · April 2014

My parents invite H's family over for a cook-out in the summer and we've had a few birthday dinners together, but we don't do holidays together. I suppose that if H and I ever hosted for the holidays, we'd invite both his and our family, but I don't see that ever happening. Both sides get along alright, but they'll never be close - they're just too different.

smalfrie19 · April 2014

I think it kind of depends on family dynamics and how in laws get along. My uncle's (by marriage) mom spent a holiday recently with us at my grandparent's house because her husband just passed away and her youngest daughter got married last year and presumably spent time with her new husband's family. It wasn't weird to me.

On the other hand, my in laws don't spend any holidays with my family and vice versa..most of them haven't even met yet.

larrygaga · April 2014

PFFTTT

Our parents became very close friends after FI and I started dating, and some of our siblings are also very close. If we ever broke up, I'm not sure what would happen. I honestly think they would still all hang out, unless it was a really bad break up

FiancB · April 2014

Our families are on opposite ends of the country so they will meet at our wedding and most likely never see each other again. Even if that weren't the case, my parents aren't too sociable and his family has heard enough about mine to know they're crazypants. So.

Back to OP, that sounds really... odd.

manillabar · April 2014

my parents grew up in the same town, so both sides of the family have always been close. As a child, any holidays that weren't spent at church were at my house with relatives from both side and we wouldn't have it any other way. Now that we're older, sometimes the holidays are in different homes but it's always the same group (plus new spouses and children). In fact, my mom's cousin threw a Christmas dinner a few years back and invited my dad's brother and his family as well... it was just natural.

That being said, my FILs and my parents are about to meet for the first time next weekend so we'll see how that goes, haha. My brother in law doesn't have much family in the US so he quickly entered ours with no problem, but my sister in law had a lot of drama with my mom so our families rarely mix (only at the wedding and at her baby shower). It will be interesting to see what happens with my family and my FILs...

ETA: that being said, it's weird that she decided to invite herself over lol

Sugargirl1019 · April 2014

I'm in the boat for joint holidays. Sort of.

I'm a terrible person and just hate FIs parents home... For reasons that will remain undisclosed.. So every chance I get to remain at MY parents home, I ask my mom if we can extend the invitation for his parents to come over. They are only two people, and my family is much larger. Thankfully my mom always says yes of course they can spend Thanksgiving, Christmas day with us.

So, its not cultural. Its so I can keep my sanity. And no one has caught on except my mom.

How much did you really combine the two families?

Re: How much did you really combine the two families?

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