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Heartbroken, need advice/vent - Buying our first home

I've been beside myself all night, unsure of what to do. You Knotties have been good at offering sound advice, so I came here.

We have started our house search. Our agent was always a little flakey, but we used him anyway. I regret it to my core now. I found all the listings we've seen and have spent far too much time doing things I think he should have been doing. The whole point of us using an agent was to take some of the pressure off me because I'm also wedding planning and job hunting.

Anyway, the second house we see we love. The neighborhood has been moving fast with competitively priced homes. Things are going on and off market in 3 or 4 days sometimes, and over asking. The market is relatively hot and I made the rookie mistake of trusting the realtor's advise to move quickly. He also told us that his market analysis revealed that the house was overpriced, but only by about 8k. Trusting that was mistake number 2.

We draw up an offer for 8k less than asking when the house had been on the market 8 days. The sellers are highly motivated and have outgrown the house. They need the cash from the sale to buy another larger house further out from the city. We thought we were doing good. We signed but the Easter weekend caused some unexpected delays and now I'm so thankful for that. The offer couldn't be sent.

Then my dad starts showing me comps he found. They are CONSIDERABLY under what we were even going to offer, let alone what they were asking. Even for houses that were similarly updated, larger in size, with similar lots and 2-car garages (the house we like is one of only a handful in the area that only has one), they sold for between $20k and $40k less than the asking for this house. So, we demand comps from our agent and see the truth. The house IS grossly overpriced and our agent knew it and recommended a higher offer than was really reasonable. All our family suggested an offer of $40k under asking. We decided to go in at $30k under, which was over $18k less than the previous offer we voided. We told the agent and abandoned our earlier offer, which was going to be a stretch for us to afford in the first place and that we were now no longer willing to give.

We got the new offer signed, a sellers lease agreement (which would help us both out) and we sent it off with a hand-written note from us. It took 5 attempts for our agent to get these documents correct. Details are clearly not his thing. Wrong dates, wrong names, mismatched amounts, etc. Finally, we send it out.  Within hours we heard back. They accepted our offer as is at 12 days on market.

We were elated (and questioned whether our families were right and we should have offered less). We had our dance lesson and just beamed the whole time. WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!!!

And then I got a text to call our agent back.

I could tell by the sound of his voice that it wasn't good. He made a mistake. A big mistake. He sent the wrong offer. The original one. The one that we could barely afford and that the market didn't support. No wonder they accepted so quickly.

Now, we have to figure out what to do. Both sides are tainted at this point. They are probably just as heartbroken as we are. We are furious with our agent. We don't know what to do.

Our agent says (really not trusting him at this point) that all we can do is submit the correct offer and begin negotiations as normal. I think he's trying to save his own skin.

Thoughts?

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"They say there's no such place... as Paradise. Even if you search to the ends of the Earth, there's nothing there. No matter how far you walk, it's always the same road. It just goes on and on. But, in spite of that... Why am I so driven to find it? A voice calls to me... It says, 'Search for Paradise.' " - Kiba, Wolf's Rain

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Re: Heartbroken, need advice/vent - Buying our first home

  • If he made the original offer and the seller accepted it, that could be a contract that you're stuck with.  That's why real estate agents are supposed to carry professional liability insurance.  The seller may not have to negotiate at all.

    At this point, if I were you, I would start talking to another agent pronto.  I would also talk to a local property lawyer.  This is the sort of thing where you need some professional assistance.  
  •  I thought we had to deal with crappy realtors! Is this guy from an agency? Or is he self-employed? I would *definitely* be contacting whoever is above him, (whether you're able to pull back your first offer or not), and be making a serious complaint. Not to mention, firing him immediately & going with someone else! Either he's an idiot, that clearly has no idea what he's doing, or he's playing you, hoping this 'oops' will make him more commission. Which seems to be what he was clearly going for before, when he told you how much the house "should" be priced at. Lets hope either he, or his company has insurance, and that you don't have to spend more $ going to lawyers! 

     At this point, I'd be telling him he needs to fix this now. Meanwhile, I'd be going over his head & contacting whoever I need to, to make sure this never happens again. Not to mention, if the problem is made aware, someone else might be able to intervene & fix it! 

     Good luck to you!! I can only imagine how you feel right now, but try & keep positive, with the hopes this will all pan out! :)

     *J
  • We had a clause for a right to quit for any reason within 12 days IF we pay the sellers $150, which we would have to pay within 2 days of acceptance for the clause to be valid. I don't think the original contract is valid because we communicated that it wasn't what we wanted before anyone else saw it, even if we did sign it. Our agent hadn't signed it by the time we cancelled. He just didn't pay attention to what he was signing. The two had the same name but were in different folders. He chose the wrong one and sent it after checking that it was signed, not checking the amounts.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    image

    "They say there's no such place... as Paradise. Even if you search to the ends of the Earth, there's nothing there. No matter how far you walk, it's always the same road. It just goes on and on. But, in spite of that... Why am I so driven to find it? A voice calls to me... It says, 'Search for Paradise.' " - Kiba, Wolf's Rain

  • 1. Find a new agent, ASAP.

    2. If this guy is a REALTOR (R) (as in, a member of his state association, a member of the national association, not just a guy who has a real estate licence), contact his broker of record and file a formal complaint.

    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • The PPs have given great advice and I hope that you are able to get this corrected. 

    Real estate is tough, we've had a rought time the past month ourselves...  We had to walk away from a house after the inspection turned up some serious problems (plus the sellers were assholes).  We just put in an offer on a new house last night and we are in contract to sell our house. 

    Hang in there!  If the comps are really that different I doubt you will find a bank that will approve a mortgage for an amount that much higher than the comps.

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  • abbyj700abbyj700 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2014
    Holy.Shit.

    Yeah - step one, get rid of this yahoo. This mistake was unacceptable. Get a new Real Estate Agent - NOW. And file a formal complaint. This is the most unacceptable real estate blunder I think I've ever heard.

    Two -Find out what you have to do to get out of that contract and do it.

    Three - you felt like you were making a stretch offer you may not be able to afford in the future? Don't EVER do that. Ask the millions of Americans that did it and lost their homes. Make something you're comfortable with. When I moved into my home 2 years ago - my mortgage payment was less than my lease on my apartment. And fixed interest mortgage doesn't mean fixed number every year. My mortgage went up $100/month after my first year here because my taxes and home owners insurance went up. It happens more than you would think.

    Four - Don't be suprised if this family isn't going to sell to you. This is going to leave a bad taste in their mouth. They priced where they did because they thought it was correct. Your first offer was close to that price. Now your'e going to pull that offer and send one that is way less? Yes - I get why and you're totally in the right - but think of it from their perspective. It might be time to look at other homes.
  • Step one: Fire your REA. I had to do it, it sucks, but you're WAY better off.

    Step two: Hire a lawyer.

    Step three: Check the contract to see if there are contingencies to get out of contract. I had three in mine. The first was the home inspection, if there was ANY minor detail I didn't like from the home inspection, I could walk. The second was the mortgage company finalizing my mortgage (going through underwriters, etc). If they didn't approve the mortgage, the deal fell through. The third was that the appraisal had to be close to what I was purchasing the home for. So, if I signed a contract for a house and said "I'm paying $500,000 for this home!" and it's appraised for like $80,000, the deal fell through because the bank isn't going to give me that much money for a house that isn't worth that much.

    Good luck.

    I basically had this too.  In the case of the home inspection if they agreed to fix it then I was still bound by the contract.  With the mortgage if I did something to cause it to not go through I could be sued for breech.  So if I didn't get the mortgage because the money/credit rating just wasn't there it was fine but if I didn't get it because I went out and bought a brand new car or something like that thus changing my credit situation I was at fault.  If the appraisal came in low they had to let me have the house for that number. I think the appraisal is your best bet right now. If the comps in the area are that much lower I do not see the appraisal being in their favor.

    Like others have said hire a lawyer and fire the Realtor.  
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  • 1. Find a new agent, ASAP.

    2. If this guy is a REALTOR (R) (as in, a member of his state association, a member of the national association, not just a guy who has a real estate licence), contact his broker of record and file a formal complaint.

    Most states won't allow someone who just has an agent's license to work independently. At least, in MA, an agent has to be employed by a broker for a minimum of 3 years before they can even take the broker's test. An actual Realtor is a step above that.

    OP, if he's only an agent, he has to have a "boss/manager/broker" in charge somewhere. Contact them if possible, asap. If he is an actual broker, he is required by state law (I think all states require it) to have a a bond in his name, usually for if they ever get sued. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • lkristenj said:
    I've been beside myself all night, unsure of what to do. You Knotties have been good at offering sound advice, so I came here.

    We have started our house search. Our agent was always a little flakey, but we used him anyway. I regret it to my core now. I found all the listings we've seen and have spent far too much time doing things I think he should have been doing. The whole point of us using an agent was to take some of the pressure off me because I'm also wedding planning and job hunting.

    Anyway, the second house we see we love. The neighborhood has been moving fast with competitively priced homes. Things are going on and off market in 3 or 4 days sometimes, and over asking. The market is relatively hot and I made the rookie mistake of trusting the realtor's advise to move quickly. He also told us that his market analysis revealed that the house was overpriced, but only by about 8k. Trusting that was mistake number 2.

    We draw up an offer for 8k less than asking when the house had been on the market 8 days. The sellers are highly motivated and have outgrown the house. They need the cash from the sale to buy another larger house further out from the city. We thought we were doing good. We signed but the Easter weekend caused some unexpected delays and now I'm so thankful for that. The offer couldn't be sent.

    Then my dad starts showing me comps he found. They are CONSIDERABLY under what we were even going to offer, let alone what they were asking. Even for houses that were similarly updated, larger in size, with similar lots and 2-car garages (the house we like is one of only a handful in the area that only has one), they sold for between $20k and $40k less than the asking for this house. So, we demand comps from our agent and see the truth. The house IS grossly overpriced and our agent knew it and recommended a higher offer than was really reasonable. All our family suggested an offer of $40k under asking. We decided to go in at $30k under, which was over $18k less than the previous offer we voided. We told the agent and abandoned our earlier offer, which was going to be a stretch for us to afford in the first place and that we were now no longer willing to give.

    We got the new offer signed, a sellers lease agreement (which would help us both out) and we sent it off with a hand-written note from us. It took 5 attempts for our agent to get these documents correct. Details are clearly not his thing. Wrong dates, wrong names, mismatched amounts, etc. Finally, we send it out.  Within hours we heard back. They accepted our offer as is at 12 days on market.

    We were elated (and questioned whether our families were right and we should have offered less). We had our dance lesson and just beamed the whole time. WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!!!

    And then I got a text to call our agent back.

    I could tell by the sound of his voice that it wasn't good. He made a mistake. A big mistake. He sent the wrong offer. The original one. The one that we could barely afford and that the market didn't support. No wonder they accepted so quickly.

    Now, we have to figure out what to do. Both sides are tainted at this point. They are probably just as heartbroken as we are. We are furious with our agent. We don't know what to do.

    Our agent says (really not trusting him at this point) that all we can do is submit the correct offer and begin negotiations as normal. I think he's trying to save his own skin.

    Thoughts?
    I'd pull the offer, make sure he takes responsibility for the error, and have the correct offer submitted.  And if you are working with an agency, I would demand that a new person be put on the account if at all possible.

    Alternatively, you could give up on this house and get a new realtor and start looking again, but I know that may not be a good option for you.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • And ditto PPs, if you are stuck in a contract, fire this guy immediately, in writing, and get an attorney immediately.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I know we should fire him and we want to, and yet we keep moving on just to have progress. We love this house and don't want to lose it over a dumb mistake. The sellers seem willing enough to work with us.

    It's been a learning experience, that's for sure. I am too trusting of people. It was also stupid to sign a contract if we weren't 100% sure. We thought we were 100%, but we had bad/no information (also his fault) and once we got it we realized we were making a huge mistake.

    What we're working on right now is negotiating within the existing contract via amendments. They know we can walk at any moment if we so choose, so they're willing to work with us to get their house sold. They've lost two offers/contracts already and they're ready to get things done. They seem to like us from what their agent has passed on through our agent. We'll submit our intended offer in an amendment that would void the previous amount and replace it with this one. They can either accept that or counter us. The only difference in this and other negotiations is that we are currently in a contract and they can't entertain other offers. We have 11 days to come to an agreement before our right to terminate expires. If they don't come down on price, we'll terminate the contract and start over. If we can't reach an agreement soon, we'll let them out before that 11 days is up so that they're not trapped by a contract that's going nowhere. We don't want to be mean to them.

    The guy is part of a firm with a sponsoring broker above him, so he is not independent. He says to just let us know if we want to work with someone else. He knows he messed up bad. I wish we could cut him out of a commission, but don't want this process to be difficult because we're throwing a fit about it. It's wrong and absolutely unacceptable, but he has a line of communication with the seller's agent already and I don't want to disrupt the flow. After this is a done deal (or not), we will look into reporting him to whatever board and to his supervising company. I hate to ruin anyone's life and I know being a real estate agent can be tough. But, when you're dealing with people's money, you should have more attention to details. He let it slip that after it happened and he told his wife, she said "you should have let me help you organize!" as if she knew that he had a problem with that sort of thing. He says it's his worst mistake ever, but I'm sure it's one of many. Everyone makes mistakes, but I cannot believe some of the things this guy has done wrong. If we do not get this house, we will absolutely be finding a new broker to work with, one that comes with personal recommendations from friends that I can trust.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

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    "They say there's no such place... as Paradise. Even if you search to the ends of the Earth, there's nothing there. No matter how far you walk, it's always the same road. It just goes on and on. But, in spite of that... Why am I so driven to find it? A voice calls to me... It says, 'Search for Paradise.' " - Kiba, Wolf's Rain

  • lkristenj said:

    I know we should fire him and we want to, and yet we keep moving on just to have progress. We love this house and don't want to lose it over a dumb mistake. The sellers seem willing enough to work with us.

    It's been a learning experience, that's for sure. I am too trusting of people. It was also stupid to sign a contract if we weren't 100% sure. We thought we were 100%, but we had bad/no information (also his fault) and once we got it we realized we were making a huge mistake.

    What we're working on right now is negotiating within the existing contract via amendments. They know we can walk at any moment if we so choose, so they're willing to work with us to get their house sold. They've lost two offers/contracts already and they're ready to get things done. They seem to like us from what their agent has passed on through our agent. We'll submit our intended offer in an amendment that would void the previous amount and replace it with this one. They can either accept that or counter us. The only difference in this and other negotiations is that we are currently in a contract and they can't entertain other offers. We have 11 days to come to an agreement before our right to terminate expires. If they don't come down on price, we'll terminate the contract and start over. If we can't reach an agreement soon, we'll let them out before that 11 days is up so that they're not trapped by a contract that's going nowhere. We don't want to be mean to them.

    The guy is part of a firm with a sponsoring broker above him, so he is not independent. He says to just let us know if we want to work with someone else. He knows he messed up bad. I wish we could cut him out of a commission, but don't want this process to be difficult because we're throwing a fit about it. It's wrong and absolutely unacceptable, but he has a line of communication with the seller's agent already and I don't want to disrupt the flow. After this is a done deal (or not), we will look into reporting him to whatever board and to his supervising company. I hate to ruin anyone's life and I know being a real estate agent can be tough. But, when you're dealing with people's money, you should have more attention to details. He let it slip that after it happened and he told his wife, she said "you should have let me help you organize!" as if she knew that he had a problem with that sort of thing. He says it's his worst mistake ever, but I'm sure it's one of many. Everyone makes mistakes, but I cannot believe some of the things this guy has done wrong. If we do not get this house, we will absolutely be finding a new broker to work with, one that comes with personal recommendations from friends that I can trust.

    I would still fire this guy.  If the sellers want to sell quickly their realtor will work with anyone.  I wouldn't be able to trust this guy to make sure all the forms going forward are correct.

    You have the Property Disclosure, Request to Remedy (after the inspection) and who knows what others...  What happens if he doesn't file the correct request to remedy form and you are on the hook for repairs (or worse, the mortgage falls through because your agent didn't tell the seller the house needed a new roof).


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  • You're being way too nice to this guy for your own good. He fucked up, with tens of thousands of dollars of your money on the line. Another agent can easily talk to the sellers' agent. Fire him, report him, and move on.
  • I probably am too nice.

    I feel so sick right now dealing with all this. My stomach is all twisted up. Sometimes I can't eat and I'm not sleeping well. The stress is starting to take a toll. A family friend has offered to throw a shower for us and is super excited to start planning and I can't even be happy or think about making plans. It's too much.

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    "They say there's no such place... as Paradise. Even if you search to the ends of the Earth, there's nothing there. No matter how far you walk, it's always the same road. It just goes on and on. But, in spite of that... Why am I so driven to find it? A voice calls to me... It says, 'Search for Paradise.' " - Kiba, Wolf's Rain

  • lkristenj said:

    I probably am too nice.

    I feel so sick right now dealing with all this. My stomach is all twisted up. Sometimes I can't eat and I'm not sleeping well. The stress is starting to take a toll. A family friend has offered to throw a shower for us and is super excited to start planning and I can't even be happy or think about making plans. It's too much.


    This is not a friendship, this is business. You are dealing with a TON of money. Property isn't cheap anywhere right now. I wouldn't be this easy on this ass-hat. Fire him immediately, if you lose the contract on the house, so be it, there will be another house. Do not get attached to a house until after you close on it. Another competent REA can pick up right where the shitty one did if you really want this house.

    Seriously, if you want to keep this guy, think about how bad he's screwing up with your money. I would be livid. Absolutely livid. I'm angry for you right now.

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  • I am angry. But, the problem is how much we love the house. It's practically perfect. I know that there can be other houses, but we don't want to lose this one.

    With the protection clause I'm not sure how we can cut him out anyway. A coworker and friend of mine actually knows his supervising broker. He's surprised that this is allowed to happen if that broker is supervising him, as he knows that the broker knows his stuff and is a pretty hard hammer for his clients and thrives on reputation. For him to have such a lousy associate was surprising.

    Of course, our agent insists he's a good agent.

    I saw him yesterday and he was apologizing profusely (again) and promising to make it up to us. I said "I don't know how you plan to make it up to us" and he said something along the lines of "Well, I'm not going to let you hold this over my head for the rest of the time we work together. If you want out of this, just say something and I'll be happy to let you go." It seemed like he was mad at us for being upset. I was hoping he would say that he was cutting his commission or doing something else to really make a sacrifice to get us the house since he screwed up so royally. Of course, no such thing.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

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    "They say there's no such place... as Paradise. Even if you search to the ends of the Earth, there's nothing there. No matter how far you walk, it's always the same road. It just goes on and on. But, in spite of that... Why am I so driven to find it? A voice calls to me... It says, 'Search for Paradise.' " - Kiba, Wolf's Rain

  • Honestly? You are being way too nice. This man could very easily (based on all his huge blunders so far) screw up the rest of your home deal. There is too much money and legally binding documents to stick with this guy. It makes no sense that you are doing so "just to be nice" to a complete stranger who will be making money off of you...
  • arrippaarrippa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2014

    That's the problem with falling in love with a hosue before you close. I have done this with condos. I start buying and arranging furniture in my mind and when we don't get the condo, I am devastated.

  • This is going to sound harsh, but I truly don't intend it to. It's a house. It's just stuff - yeah, it's expensive stuff, but it's stuff. Fire his ass, recognize you might lose out on this house, and start again. He's fucking you over severely.
  • I'm going to be blunt here.  If you will not stand-up for yourself in this situation you deserve what happens.  Meaning you know this guy is incompetent, yet you still choose to use him.  That is downright crazy.   As long as you keep this guy, I can't feel bad for you on anything else that might happen with this transition






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • This is going to sound harsh- but you are not being "too nice" you are being dumb. I cannot believe that you would continue to work with this "agent" who has fucked up so royally! I understand you and your SO are attached to this house, but you need to have already contacted a lawyer about this contract and you need to have started looking for new agents. 

    You are allowing your love of this house to put you in a potentially very bad position. You are continuing to use the wrong contract--which now you have endorsed with your intent (and intent was one of your few ways out). It also sounds like you and your SO have not done much research in this area, this is somewhat understandable since you hired an agent, but you still need to be informed about exactly how this contract is binding you.  

    Honestly if you choose to keep working with this agent (and reporting him after the fact will accomplish nothing since you will have decided to continue working with him!) then any later mistakes are entirely on you since you knew he was incompetent. If he screws up again, you will have a very, very hard time with any legal action since the question will be--"why did you keep working with him after he proved himself incompetent?". 

    Good luck. 
  • We have an option period in the contract. We have already paid the fee to have this option available to us.

    If they don't negotiate, we kill the offer with the option and the contract is void. Basically, we have the contract, but we have until next Thursday to either keep with it and be stuck or negotiate the terms and stay in it with revisions, or quit the contract by that time. We will not be stuck in the contract at this price because we would rather kill it and walk away than pay the price currently on the contract. We cannot be held to it if we terminate within the option period, no matter what. Since we REALLY want this house, it's worth it to try to work it out and risk the option fee. The sellers have already admitted that they'll take about $10k less than the signed offer. They just want to be done.

    I was told that the contract was executed and binding from the moment it was signed by both parties. There was no pulling it or taking it back. It was done. It had to be revoked with the option anyway, as far as I know.

    FI's father is a lawyer and we've been trying to reach him but he's being a jerk and not responding quickly.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

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    "They say there's no such place... as Paradise. Even if you search to the ends of the Earth, there's nothing there. No matter how far you walk, it's always the same road. It just goes on and on. But, in spite of that... Why am I so driven to find it? A voice calls to me... It says, 'Search for Paradise.' " - Kiba, Wolf's Rain

  • lkristenj said:

    We have an option period in the contract. We have already paid the fee to have this option available to us.

    If they don't negotiate, we kill the offer with the option and the contract is void. Basically, we have the contract, but we have until next Thursday to either keep with it and be stuck or negotiate the terms and stay in it with revisions, or quit the contract by that time. We will not be stuck in the contract at this price because we would rather kill it and walk away than pay the price currently on the contract. We cannot be held to it if we terminate within the option period, no matter what. Since we REALLY want this house, it's worth it to try to work it out and risk the option fee. The sellers have already admitted that they'll take about $10k less than the signed offer. They just want to be done.

    I was told that the contract was executed and binding from the moment it was signed by both parties. There was no pulling it or taking it back. It was done. It had to be revoked with the option anyway, as far as I know.

    FI's father is a lawyer and we've been trying to reach him but he's being a jerk and not responding quickly.

    Have you talked to the Broker?  How is s/he making this right since it was an agent error in the first place?

    And you have to take some responsibility for this yourself.  You shouldn't be buying a house if you have no idea what the house is really worth (looking at what else is available). 

    Before you made an offer you should have looked at comps with your agent to determine fair market value on similar homes and then determine what you were willing to offer based on the condition of the house.  You shouldn't just pull a number out of thin air and go with it. 

    The sellers could be over/under pricing their house and if you don't check around you could get screwed (although it is already happened).


     

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  • @AprilH81 - I've beaten myself up plenty. I know we were at fault for signing the previous high offer.

    I looked at listings in the area but it turns out many are anticipating the hot market and pricing way over what they can reasonably get. The asking prices are all too high. Our agent did not show us any MLS sales data at all. He just said "go with this number" and that's it. We trusted him but realized our mistake before the offer was submitted. It is only when I threw a huge fit and requested it  multiple times that I got actual closed sale comp data. And that is when we decided to cancel the original offer we signed, before it ever went anywhere. He has never sat down and discussed anything with us.

    I have not talked to the broker, but our agent has asked for his advice with it, so the broker is aware of the mistake. I am heavily considering going down that road.

     

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

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    "They say there's no such place... as Paradise. Even if you search to the ends of the Earth, there's nothing there. No matter how far you walk, it's always the same road. It just goes on and on. But, in spite of that... Why am I so driven to find it? A voice calls to me... It says, 'Search for Paradise.' " - Kiba, Wolf's Rain

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