family dilemma

Re: family dilemma

• dharmabunny member

  

  April 2014

  neverland031107 said:

  family drama
  
  My mother doesn't want to help with anything (even if it's just advice) but is upset that I invited my future mil to my bachelorette party but not her. The thing is my mil is very cool and one of the girls basically. She does stuff with us all the time but my mom never can do anything because she's always babysitting my maid of honor kids.
  

  You're a real peach...
  
  You invite your MIL because she's a ton of fun, but not your own mother because she's doing boring things like grandchildcare for her own grown-ass daughter's kids.
  
  Oh yeah, during a bachelorette party...you're sister's going to need a flippin' sitter for the kids. Shaft your mother and conveniently give her something to do. How convenient.
  
  Tell your sister to go pay actual money for a sitter, like a fair-minded employer, and maybe allow your own mother to be a grandma and not the hired help.
  
  
  

  

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• pinkshorts27 member

  

  April 2014

  This must be MUD. You posted it on WW too and I gave good advice there. Why didn't you take it?

  
  

  

  
  

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• Rebl90 member

  

  April 2014

  neverland031107 said:

  family drama My family is driving me crazy! Im at a loose ends on what to do. My sister is my maid of honor and is really trying to push what she likes to do on me and won't listen about things I'm interested in.She's planning my bachelorette party but keeps pushing things on me like her favorite places to go and places to eat. Yes, that is not the nicest way for her to plan a bachelorette it is okay for you to let her know if you don't like something, but please keep in mind that she is footing the bill. If you don't like what she is planning then don't accept a bachelorette party from her and don't have one.  My mother doesn't want to help with anything (even if it's just advice) well yeah, it's not her job to give you advice or help you with anything.  If you need help or advice talk to your FI or hire a DOC.  but is upset that I invited my future mil to my bachelorette party but not her. Um, hello, yeah that's pretty flipping rude. That's an ultimate slap in the face, it doesn't matter how "cool" your FMIL is. The thing is my mil is very cool and one of the girls basically. She does stuff with us all the time but my mom never can do anything because she's always babysitting my maid of honor kids. You mean your sister's kids, right? Because she's only your MOH for your wedding, that is not her identity. If you want to spend time with your mother then help her babysit.  And my father is throwing a fit about having to wear a long sleeve dress shirt and a tie to walk down the aisle and doesn't want to do the father daughter dance. Then talk to him about other types of attire, and don't force him to dance, there is probably a very good reason why he doesn't want to dance. Does he want to give a speech? Does he have anxiety when he is around groups of people?  I've really tried to work with them with everything even giving alternatives to just about everything but at this point they're just causing unnecessary stress. Like what? What kind of alternatives have you offered? They can't help financially which is understandable but they feel like I'm choosing my future in-laws because they're helping with some of the costs. Obviously they are sensitive because they are unable to contribute financially, and by pushing them do things that they don't want to do (your father and the clothes and dance) and excluding them (your mother and the bachelorette), no wonder they feel like you are favoring your FILs. This should be a great time for me and my fiance but my family is driving me nuts. I'm pretty sure you are driving your family nuts. I suggest growing up and learning to be sensitive towards your parents. 

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  April 2014

  It's too early for this.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• neverland031107 member

  

  April 2014

  I say down with my mother and explained everything to her and she told me that she didn't say half of what I was told. My sister took one comment and made an entire story out of it. But my mom is invited to my bachelorette party but she said she won't most likely be able to go because of babysitting my sister's children.
  @blueeyes90 Im sorry I logged into ww but I don't see your comment on my post. I posted both places just to get more input. Honestly want meant to offend anyone.
  My dad basically wanted to wear khakis and a shirt but I asked him to wear the tire and dress shirt but I didn't think it was going to be an issue. I told him he could get ready last minute, ceremony is 15 minutes, and we'd take care of family pictures very first thing then I didn't care if he wanted to wear khakis and a tee to the reception. He just said he didn't want to dance and I'm positive he won't want to make a speech. He does okay in public but he's not super social. I understand that they're not obligated to help me but every girl needs advice sometimes and my fi tells me a lot that she doesn't need to be included in every detail. I know I come across as a b**** but by talking to my family about things and trying to include then in planning I was trying to make them feel more welcome with the wedding

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