Our invitations went out on Thursday. We already had one guest get added who is a girlfriend/non-girlfriend, but it kind of made sense once the guest called my mom back and I'm not that upset about it because it makes sense now, though at first it was weird and confusing (it's in my history if you want to look it up).
But this morning, FI received a call from his mom, which required him to be in the other room, looking upset. I was concerned that his grandfather had died, that's how serious he looked. He came back into the kitchen where I was making breakfast and told me that his mom called to tell us his great aunt is upset that we didn't invite her adult daughter, who will be in town that week and is also very upset we didn't invite her. I'm not sure if she planned to be around because of the wedding, but I'm thinking that could be. Anyway, it sounds like this adult woman is threatening not to come because her daughter, who is in her 30's isn't invited. FI hasn't seen this woman (Great Aunt's daughter) in years. She has not been to any family events and FI barely knows her. I have definitely never met her.
Our wedding is small. We invited 133. We budgeted for 125. Those 8 overage guests are being paid for by my mom if 8 of her other allotted guests do not drop, since they are people she added after I got quotes from caterers, and they are people I never would have invited because I have not seen them in 15 years. My mom gets that and offered to pay, knowing we were spending a lot on catering and each guest costs ~$130 to host. FI relayed this to his mom, but of course he botched his delivery making it sound like the reason we can't host this added guest is because we are trying to accommodate 8 of my mom's friends, so his mom's response was that it shouldn't be about money. So I made FI message his mom back and clarify that my mom is paying. Now I have no idea where this will go, but I'm pissed, and if FI's extended family is communicating about the wedding like this, I'm afraid this won't be the last person. Part of me just wants to have this woman be told that if she's really threatening not to come over her ADULT DAUGHTER, then we will miss her. And if my mom has to pay for added guests if her people don't drop, I think it's only fair we have this arrangement with FI's mom as well. The guest list has been set since July 2013.
And just to be clear, this woman does not need an aid to get around or anything like that. We just think they assumed the girl was invited.
I signed up for a subscription through NakedWines.com last month... I think this was a good move.
Update: FMIL now understands the situation and has agreed to the terms my mom is adhering to regarding added guests now that the guest list is set. We already know 2 of their relatives can't make it, so this annoying adult won't cost them, but it prevents scope creep of additional guests, since FMIL will be paying for them. FI talked to her and it seems she is just as surprised that this woman pulled this crap as we are. I personally just don't understand why you'd want to go to the wedding of someone you don't know that well... so freaking weird and rude. UGH.